Sunlight streams in my window
And I can't seem to close my eyes
I just stare.
I think of love and death and memories
I think about them until they become one experience;
The love dying, becoming a memory of my life.

I love the daylight, yet despise it
Because it keeps me from the solitude
And comfort of the night
I love life, yet hate it, because it keeps me
from the pleasures and sanctuary of death--
True death
When the sun streaming in my window turns black and rots
Melting onto my window sill.

I continue to stare at the sun that comes in my window
I think of children laughing and playing in the park
After a while I begin to think I can hear them
And when finally I blink
I hear their screams and smell their flesh
Rotting in the dark.

The sunlight has gone and been replaced with moonlight.
The light is much softer
And the paleness makes my tears look hollow
They fall from my face and shatter on the floor below me.
Exposing their contents
Which instantly slither away between the floorboards.
The moonlit window sill begins to crawl as an insect
They fumple about in their disorganised way,
Reminding me of the children in the playground
And as the shildren screamed
So do the insects.
They scream at me
They are crawling all over me and screaming at me to help them
But I don't know how
So I scream back at them
I scream until my lungs ache and my throat is raw.

Now the sun has replaced the moon
The insects are gone and the smell of decaying children returns.
My unblinking eyes remain staring through the window
They burn
But I know that if I blink the stench of dead children will be replaced
With something much worse.

I think of love and death and memories
I think about them until they become one experience.

Then the sun streaming in my window turns black and rots....

....melting onto my window sill.