Smothered with an emotional blanket. Bitter, angry, sad,
remorseful, helpless, upset, all in one and one in all, unable to
breathe, I sit here in defense. Poison words from her scorpion
tongue, no antidote to be found among her less than comforting
retraction. Although she loves, her hate overshadows, and I curl up,
fetal, crying, as helpless as the day I was brought into this world.
Bared soul held by her cold, misgiving hands, turns my existence to
ice. Want to hurt her for hurting me, deserved retaliation spawned
from love. Always thinking before I act, I ignore my hearts pain and
allow common sense to prevail. Causing the blanket to descend. Upon
last sweet word I lay my head, truly remorseful for what I did
without knowing. Distempered dreams cause me unrest, to wake in
confusion and tears, only to drift back in to bitter-sweet slumber,
allowing the blanket to descend again without my knowledge. Still
hurt, yet more in love as a result, for only she who means so much
has the power to strike me down with such bitter words. The emotional
wreck I am, I cling to her sleeve, begging to be loved, destined
for disappointment to be sprung from my wanting. Hurt by that which
she does herself, she does not like when people play her game.
Unyielding secrets was cause of this fray, learning from mistakes,
I step more lightly. Alone with questioned sanity I drift, around
familiar faces, detatched from their souls, no warmth to be provided.
I dwell on recent history, and analyze her every breath, left to my
own death by memories. Wishing to speak with her again, to let her
know the troubles she has caused me with such ill-spoken words, I
wait for my opportunity to retaliate or apologize.
Gusto.
