"Mr. Tendo"

        by Shunsuke Ichikawa (1997)

(Sung by Ranma Saotome of "Ranma 1/2", 
to the tune of "Mr. Custer" by Larry Verne)


        They were sure of matrimony
        The fathers of the families
        As they looked on
        But from the rear 
        A voice was heard 
        A trembling voice came loud and clear
        Over the wedding song 

"What am I doing here?!"

Please, Mr. Tendo, I don't wanna go
Listen, Mr. Tendo, I don't wanna go
I had a dream last night
About my wedding night
I said "Masaka!"
Akane swung her mallet and screamed "BAKA!"

Please, Mr. Tendo, I don't wanna go

(spoken)
No...
Look at them wedding guests out there, they're violent.
An' there's a fiance in every row.
Hey, Kuno duck your head!
Nope, you're a little bit late on that one, Kuno-sempai.
Ooh, I bet that smarts...

        They were sure of matrimony
        The fathers of the families
        As they looked on
        Again from the rear 
        A voice was heard 
        That same 'fraid voice came loud and clear
        Over the wedding song

"What am I doing here?!"

Please, Mr. Tendo, I don't wanna go
Listen, Mr. Tendo, please don't make me go
With a tomboy you arranged me
That I don't wanna marry
"Kekkon?" I said, "No way!"
"I won't marry someone who's kawaiikunee!"

Please, Mr. Tendo, I don't wanna go