"Ranma v. The Uncute Tomboy"

        by Shunsuke Ichikawa (1997)

(Sung to the tune of "Snoopy v. The Red Baron", by The Royal Guardsmen)


In the Tokyo district of Nerima-ku,
Lived a girl who all the boys wanted to be married to,
Everyday, fightin' an' bangin', set on 'destroy',
The screaming sound of an uncute tomboy.

From Nerima district, this tomboy came,
Akane "The Hammer" Tendo was her name,
Eighty boys tried and eighty boys cried,
Now they lie in a heap at Furinkan High.

        Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more,
        The uncute tomboy was running up the score
        Eighty boys fell fighting in that fray
        Of the Kawaiikunee Tomboy of Tendo-ke

In the nick of time, a hero arose
An aquatransexual wearing Chinese clothes
He was forced to be her iinazuke,
But Akane struck him down "That pervert?  No way!"

        Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more,
        The uncute tomboy was running up the score
        Eighty boys fell fighting in that fray
        Of the Kawaiikunee Tomboy of Tendo-ke

Now Soun and Genma had sworn they'd join their families
They arranged their two children to be married
Akane challenged "That pervert!" to an honorable fight
While Ranma laughed at her, she got him in her sights

Soun and Genma tried everything, but they'd run out of tricks
Soon the families' fathers were in a fix
Akane swung once, and she swung twice
And that "Baka jerk!" was spinning out of sight

        Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more,
        The uncute tomboy was running up the score
        Eighty boys fell fighting in that fray
        Of the Kawaiikunee Tomboy of Tendo-ke