The Anime Parody Christmas Songbook, part 3 =========================================== Hello again, Due to the annoyance of real life, I've been limited in the time I've had to write for Christmas. I'd had plans to do more than this short list, but it will have to do. :-( As with previous lists of Christmas parodies, these are done with tongue in cheek (my own, unfortunately O_-). Have fun, and never sing these songs normally again! ^_^ Here's the songs for your amusement: GENOM Boomers Miyuki's Wonderland I Saw Mommy Kissing Gendo The Saotome Song Happosai Is Coming To Town And, a waffy songfic: 2000 Miles Happy ho ho, Shunsuke ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "GENOM Boomers" (sung to the tune of "Six White Boomers", written by Rolf Harris) Early on one Christmas Day there sounded an alarm, A boomer was run amuck, causing Mega-Tokyo harm. "Nene? Priss? Linna? Get here right away. Mackie's got the plane ready, we're entering the fray." Across the city skyline the Knight Sabers' plane hopped, But they hadn't flown that far when Mackie stopped. Unleashing all their weapons, the fireworks did fly, Then they saw more boomers falling from the sky. GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Just look at Quincy go! Pretty soon old Mason began to feel the heat, Couldn't let those "bitches" send him to defeat, He planned to be GENOM's CEO one day, Meanwhile old man Quincy was pulling on the reins. GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Just look at Quincy go! Mackie said to Sylia, "What about the cops? The boomers are killing them, something we have to stop" "They've used up all their weapons, true, they were here last night, This one is an extra trip, my personal fight." GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Just look at Quincy go! Soon the plane was flying over GENOM Tower, "Slow down and land there," said Sylia, "Cut the power, Bring up the monitor, I'll have a look around." "There he is, that's Mason, we've gotta cut him down!" GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Just look at Quincy go! It turned out that this fight was really quite a dud, Didn't see anything special, except for Mason's blood. The Knight Sabers just flew off into the morning sun, In 5 and 6 it's Largo, and he is much more fun. GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Battling the Knight Sabers in Mega-Tokyo GENOM Boomers, violent boomers, Just look at Quincy go! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Miyuki's Wonderland (sung to the tune of "Walking in A Winter Wonderland") Miyuki-chan, are you dreaming? The cheshire cat's teeth are gleaming A strange place in sight, nothing looks right Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland Gone away is the teacher Here to stay is a creature Crying "I'm late, I'm late", a rabbit runs past her gate, Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland 'Neath the wall is broken, Humpty Dumpty The king's men have given up on he Miyuki asks "Are you well?" He says "No dear, I'm but a shell of who I used to be" Tweedledum states a dictum Tweedledee contradicts him Miyuki's confused, the twins are amused Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland In the parlor all are welcomed in for tea The table and the board are set for eight We'll have a slice of cake and we will play chess Until the flower fairies claim a "'mate"! Whips and chains, Miyuki's unwilling The Queen of Hearts wants a killing Or frolic and flay in bondage she'll play Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland Walking in Miyuki's Wonderland --- Side note: I've never seen MciW, so if I don't have the names or settings right, blame my local stores for not carrying the tapes. ^_^ (I'm not responsible for *any* of this!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "I Saw Mommy Kissing Gendo" (as sung by Ritsuko Akagi to the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus") I saw Mommy kissing Gendo In the MAGI control booth last night She didn't see me creep Over the ledge to have a peep; She thought that I was lost in NERV's bowels deep Then I saw Mommy tickle Gendo Underneath his beard within the light; Oh, what deaths there would have been If Yui had only seen Mommy kissing Gendo last night ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The Saotome Song (adapted from "The Christmas Song", written by Mel Torme and R. Wells) Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Pot roast stolen from under your nose Angry shouts being hurled by a crowd And thieves dressed up like pandas Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe Is all you'd have to pay for the right Little girls with their hearts all aglow Will find it hard to sleep tonight They know that Genma's on his way He's pledging his son to be their fiance And every mother's child is gonna cry When they learn it's Akane who caught Ranma's eye So don't sign an "omiai" Genma has broken ninety-two Although it's been said many times, many ways GENMA'S A LOW-DOWN, HONORLESS, DISGUSTING THIEF!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Happosai Is Coming to Town (sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town") Don't hang out Your laundry to dry Don't hang them out I'm telling you why Happosai is coming to town He's taking a risk Covering his face Stealing girls panties both silky and lace Happosai is coming to town He peeps on you when you're sleeping He molests you when you're awake We know that he'll be bad for good Akane said "For goodness sake!" Oh! Don't hang out Your laundry to dry If you wring them out I'm telling you why Happosai is coming to town Happosai is coming to town ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "2000 Miles" A Ranma 1/2 songfic (written by Chrissie Hynde, recorded by The Pretenders on their 1983 album "Learning To Crawl") [Christmas Day, and a small farmhouse sits warmly on a cold landscape, like a candle in darkness lighting the way.] He's gone 2000 miles It's very far [Akari is in her kitchen, baking something. After closing the oven door, she stands and smiles, looking first at the clock, and then out the window at the snow.] The snow is falling down Gets colder day by day I miss you [Two little rugrats run around her legs, then hug her while giggling.] "Will daddy be home soon?" one asks. "Very soon, dear. Somehow he always does." The children will sing He'll be back at Christmastime [Scooting them away with a soft pat on their backsides, Akari uses a spatula to remove the cookies from the tray, with a look of trusting faith in her eyes.] "If Akane can come up with a good cookie recipe, then he can make it home in time for dinner." In these frozen and silent nights Sometimes in a dream you appear [Ryouga is walking through tropical forests, using his umbrella like a machete to clear his path.] "That's strange, it should be snowing in these parts of Hokkaido." Outside under the purple sky Diamonds in the snow sparkle [The decorations around the house shone in the light of the fire as Akari knelt at the table, wrapping the blanket around her legs. While she began knitting again, the children quietly and sleepily walked over to sit by her; leaning against her, they were asleep within minutes. Only the crackling log made any sound in the room.] Our hearts were singing It felt like christmastime [Ryouga pushed on, as blinding sand turned into windy tundra, hoping that somehow he was heading in the right direction.] 2000 miles Is very far through the snow I'll think of you Wherever you go * * * * * He's gone 2000 miles It's very far [The sun is now preparing to set on another day, but Akari sits with a smile while watching her children play. She knows the day is not over.] The snow is falling down Gets colder day by day I miss you [Clothes ripped, ragged and tired, Ryouga, trudged up the road. (He couldn't go wrong looking at gravel on the road, could he? Even with the snow?) He finally looked up, and saw smoke from the chimney, and knew he was home. With a call echoing through the wintry air, the door opened, and his children ran to him... ...in the wrong direction. Akari looked at him and smiled, then went to find them. Somehow, Ryouga made it to the door.] I can hear people singing It must be Christmastime I hear people singing It must be Christmastime ----------------------------------------------------------------------