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                       Ranma 1/2: Any Other Way

                           by Shunsuke -|||

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"If only I could give him this beautiful moon," thought Kodachi as she
looked out her window into the clear night sky.  Climbing back into
her bed in the darkness, she sat up hugging a pillow between her knees
and her chest as she waited for sleep to overtake her.

A temporary shock overtook her as she saw something green and metallic
half-exposed in the darkness by the moon's light shining down through
the window.  She breathed again when she realized what it was, just
her stuffed toy alligator, Migame-chan, inside his birdcage.

She looked at the toy in the darkness, trying to discern shapes and
features as it sat there unmoving, unchanging.  Even as the moon's
light moved across the room as time passed, she could not see all of
the doll.

"So, Migame-chan, what do I do tomorrow?  Chase Ranma again?" Kodachi
laughed softly to herself as she rocked back and forth on the bed.
"As if you would answer or tell me different if you could."

Kodachi put the pillow down and stepped out of her bed again, walking
to the dresser where the toy and cage sat, and she pulled up a chair
to sit next to it, her elbow leaning on the flat wooden top.  She
lazily watched the doll, not paying attention to her first signs of
drowsiness.

"You and I are not so unalike, are we?" she asked rhetorically, "You
scare me in the night, don't you?  You don't mean to, but I always see
you the same way."

Resting her chin on her hands, Kodachi leaned forward and stared into
the eyes of the doll, wondering if it saw her in return.

"I'd like to change, you know, and not scare people anymore.  It's
lonely without many friends around you, like I'm in a cage of my own.
But I don't know how to get out, and everyone thinks I'm a monster,
so they never help."

She sighed as she stopped to think.  She wanted to cry, but could not
bring herself to do so.  They wouldn't be real tears, she knew, and
there was no one here to impress, intimidate or lay guilt upon.

"Crocodile tears," Kodachi joked to herself with a smile.  Turning her
head to rest her temple against her forearm, Kodachi did not recognize
the next signpost of sleep and just stayed in the chair.

"It doesn't have to be Ranma," she thought to herself and to her
Migame-chan, "Just someone who likes me for me."

"It surprises me that Ranma doesn't like me at all; I mean, who else
treats him as well as I do?  Yes, I have used paralysis potions and
other like things, but I've never truly hurt him or anyone even tried
to, and I'm certainly the least violent of the women who want him."
Dreamy and hazy images of Akane, Ukyou and Shampoo hitting Ranma,
poisoning him, trapping him, or attacking-him-with-intent-to-kill
drifted through her fading consciousness and bleary eyes.

"Maybe I should invest in a new mallet," she joked in a whisper.

Kodachi reached for the cage to pet the doll, but was careful not to
put her fingers too far inside.  Despite knowing it was only a doll,
that it was harmless, she was still fearful of being bitten. A
ridiculous and unnecessary fear, but one she couldn't put aside.

She shut her eyes to think about loving someone, anyone, Ranma or no.
Only now did Kodachi realize how tired she was, but she was too far
gone to bother moving and drifted off to sleep.

     * * * * *

The door to Kodachi's room opened softly with as little noise as the
person entering could make.  He looked across the dimly lit room to
see her slumped over the dresser top as she had done many nights
before.  He walked quietly across the flooring and rug toward her
where he picked her up and carried her back to her bed.

After placing her on the mattress, he looked down upon her wearing a
face partway between sadness, love, and laughter at how often he had
done this for her.  Walking away quietly, he smiled when he heard her
call in her sleep, "Ranma..." and closed the door with a gentle
'click'.

     * * * * *

When morning came, Kodachi found herself in her bed, sheets draped
gently over her as she lay there.  The sun's light let her see
everything in the room as it was, nothing hidden, no false shapes to
scare her.

And nothing different from the previous day.

Sighing, she got out of bed and gathered her clothes for the day and
left her room for the bath.  She removed her gown and ran the water
for the bath and her washing bucket, and sighed as she ran her hand
under the faucet.  Reaching for a towel, Kodachi was startled to
realize she had brought Migame-chan with her.  She picked up the doll
with both hand to look directly at its face.

"You won't go away, will you?  No way to forget about you, no way to
do things differently.  You can't be adorable, just a scary monster
that no one wants to be around."  Kodachi put the doll down.

She scrubbed herself clean and sat in the warm bath water, closing her
eyes for a second, then looked again at the doll that sat on the stool.
She let out a long sigh and a train of thought she either thought or
spoke, she couldn't tell which:

"I just don't know any other way."

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                       E       N       D

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This story goes out to all of you who think Kodachi Kunou is crazy:
O O BIIII-DAH!!!
 U

Kidding aside, I've been looking awhile for a way to show people how
I see her and came up with this one.  No mental illnesses, no
psychoses, just a normal girl who doesn't know how to be normal.

Oh - and the opening line about giving away a beautiful moon is from
an old Buddhist parable about a monk being robbed by a thief; but
instead of the thief needing violence, the monk willingly gives the
thief everything including his clothes; I won't explain the meaning,
since Zen parables are meant to have many different answers, all of
them right.

Shunsuke