====================================================================== Ranma 1/2 : Saotome Orange Road Episode 1a: "I Was A Boy! I Was A Pig!" by Shunsuke ====================================================================== It was an early evening, the scene that of a town festival. Banners, lanterns, windsocks, and a fair with many hawkers and games of skill. So many people went around with smiles, enjoying the atmosphere, happy for a chance to enjoy a warm summer night, free of the typical Japanese weather. But not all were in the best of moods. Two teenage boys, both with black hair, one short with a bandanna, the other a long ponytail, stood at the entrance to the fair, waiting impatiently. "Jeez, when is that dummy gonna show up?" said the pigtailed boy. "Ooh, what am I gonna wear?" he intoned in a parody of a girl's voice. "Shut up, Ranma," said the other, "A girl as pretty as Akane always wants to look her best. But then, you never appreciate her anyways." "Oh, sure, P-chan, like I need advice from you." Ranma looked at the clock over the town square, seeing how late she was; it didn't improve his demeanor. "C'mon, Ryouga, let's go inside and wait for her, I'm getting bored." "Okay, Ranma, we'll look around," Ryouga agreed, not wanting to risk missing Akane or becoming lost. The two walked through the fair, hungrily eyeing the food served at several yatai they passed, only failing to buy anything for a lack of money, so they looked at the other attractions. While Ryouga was enthralled at the sights, Ranma could only stew in his anger over how late Akane was. "Stupid tomboy," he thought, "Can't do anything right." ****** There was a home, and a dojo, where Ranma lived with his father as houseguests and potential family to the Tendos, the home's owners, while Ryouga lived there unofficially as P-chan. It was a large house with a fenced yard and a koi pond, far too expensive for a poor family like the Tendo's to have purchased recently; given Tokyo's land price, it was clearly part of the family for several generations. Unfortunately, so was the visitor in the home. "Soun and Genma, my old pupils, how's things? You wanna come with me on a panty raid tonight?" laughed a short, hideous, evil little lecher named Happosai, or Happi, for short. "Ah, those were the good old days..." he spoke wistfully. "No, master, I'm...painting the grass tonight," stumbled Soun Tendo, the family patriarch and owner of the home and dojo. Though he was the master of the home, it was clear he was not the master of his own fate. Only the slight tremble in his voice gave away his concern for having this unholy terror in the house. Seated in the living room were Soun Tendo himself, his longtime friend Genma Saotome, his and Genma's martial arts master Happosai, and two of Soun's daughters, Kasumi, 19, and Nabiki, 17. Happosai was rummaging through a pack he was carrying, looking for some gifts he was going to give to his pupils and their children. "Let's see, this one's for Ranma," he said as he pulled out a lacy black bra, "so's this," as a Happo-Daikirin fell out into Genma's lap, ready to explode. The corpulent coward that was Ranma's father looked at the chi bomb in panic and began to run around the house and dojo while carrying it; he eventually ran past the living room again, and Soun Tendo put his foot to Genma, sending his old friend flying into the koi pond. The bomb exploded, sending a dazed panda 100 feet into the air, eventually landing on the roof of the dojo. "Here's something for you, Kasumi," said the pervert as he handed her a sack of fresh vegetables. "Be sure to cook me up something special, ok sweetie?" "Thank you, master Happosai," said Kasumi in a sweet, appreciative voice, oblivious to the pervert's greed. With her chin on her hand and elbow on her knee, Nabiki looked on and muttered, "Probably stole the food from somebody's garden." "I resent that!" said Happosai as he waggled a finger at Nabiki. "I worked very hard to get those. You don't know much effort it takes to strike a deal and get your pupil's son engaged." Happosai continued to empty his sack, saying, "That's not much use," as he placed a rope onto the table. "Now this looks interesting," said Nabiki as she reached for the rope, which was quickly grabbed by Happosai. "NO! Not that! It's magic rope that swaps souls between people's bodies. I only use it when I want to cop a feel of a woman's body." "Oh, be serious, old lech. We've all seen some strange magic, but do you really think we'd believe that?" All seated around the table, even the now recovered Genma-panda, looked at Happosai with a mix of disdain and disbelief. "So, you don't believe your own master, eh? Well, I'll show you!" He held one end of the rope and threw the rest at Nabiki. In a flash, the magic of the rope coursed through both of them, and each found themself in the body of the other. Nabiki, now Happosai, looked at herself, and was horrified to see she had become the old pervert. Realizing he was going to use this as a chance to cop a quick feel on Nabiki's own body while Happosai occupied it, Nabiki quickly grabbed the rope again and swapped bodies with Happosai just as his hands reached Nabiki's breasts. "Oh, no you don't, pervert!" said Nabiki in an angry tone. "Hey Genma, catch!" She threw the rope to Genma, who quickly switched with Happosai. "Hey! This is great! Now I can sneak off and add to my collection with this body!" thought Happosai, now Genma-panda, realizing his good fortune. Just then, Soun's youngest daughter, 16 year old Akane, came downstairs dressed for an evening out. She entered the living room to hurriedly say her good byes for the night, and came in to find nothing that seemed out of place, at least to the naked eye. "Hi, everyone, I can't stop to talk, I'm late meeting Ranma and Ryouga," she said as she headed for the door. "Come in for a minute, Akane, and see this rope Happosai brought," said a now human Genma (really Happosai). Before anyone could tell Akane the truth, Happosai quickly threw the rope to her while holding the other end, and quickly swapped bodies as before. Quickly Akane realized she was in Genma's body, and was mortified at the thought. Her unfortunately quick temper rose, and she railed against the person who did this to her: Happosai. "Wait, Akane, I'm not the old perveeeeeerrrrrrrttt!!!!" wailed Happosai (really Genma) as she malleted him, then threw him into the pond. Akane quickly realized who was who as she saw her own body's hands reaching for her breasts. Like Nabiki, she quickly used the rope to swap back, but unlike Nabiki, stomped on the person who was to blame. This time, she got it right. Genma, really Happosai, was now floating face-down in the pond. Everyone grabbed the two from the water, and used the rope to switch them back to their natural bodies, but they were still out of it from Akane's secret talent: mindless violence. Except for her father, everyone in Akane's family had special abilities that they hid from society. It just wasn't normal, and they might end up being forced from their home if their secret were to be revealed. Akane was really a tomboy, capable of great acts of violence and unreasoning anger; Nabiki was able to be cold and calculating, able to manipulate people; Kasumi was able to be oblivious to reality whenever it was necessary, and for some reason nothing was able to hurt her when she tried. Happosai was the strongest in power, however, with his abilities of perversion and total lack of morality. But when Ranma and his father Genma had arrived in Nerima and Ranma and Akane had become engaged, Akane knew it was all the more critical for her to keep her family's powers a secret. For despite all the pressures from her family and Ranma's over the forced omiai, they had somehow fallen in love, though neither would dare admit it. "Dad, when Mr. Saotome wakes up, could you tell that I'm sorry for hitting him? Thanks!" Akane was quickly out the door, on her way to meet Ryouga and Ranma at the fair, as the three had planned all week. What Akane didn't realize is that a woken Happosai secreted the rope into Akane's purse without her knowledge. She quickly ran through the streets toward the fair. She hadn't tried to be late, but homework did come first. She thought that sometimes life would be easier if she were a pig like her pet P-chan, and not have to worry about boring things like homework or other problems. ***** Ranma and Ryouga had quickly bored of the games of chance, either because they beat the rigged games so easily, or because they had won too much and were being thrown from the games. Eventually, they made their way over to the goldfish catching tank. "Looks like it's the only one left, Ryouga," said Ranma. If Akane didn't arrive soon, the two might not have any reason left to stay, so Ranma didn't want to overdo it at this game. That thought held for all of five seconds. "C'mon, Ranma, I can beat you at this one!" called Ryouga who used one of the nets provided to catch a fish on his first try. Ryouga looked quite proud of himself, beaming as he held a plastic bag with a goldfish in it. But, Ranma being Ranma, never backed down from a challenge. He rolled up his sleeves, paid for the net, then threw it aside as he reached for the tank of fish. "Tenshin amiguriken revised: Chestnuts-roasting-on-a-open-fire- technique!" Ranma's hands quickly dislodged the water, and in no time all the fish were in tied plastic bags. Ranma had not spilt or spashed one drop of water on himself. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for those around him. "BWEEE!" squealed an angry P-chan, looking rather wet as the fish writhed in the bag beside him. "Ooops, sorry buddy," said Ranma with more than a touch of sarcasm in his voice. "I'll go get you some hot water; wait here." Ryouga fumed as the fish-tank vendor looked on in surprise before emptying all the goldfish Ranma and Ryouga had won back into the tank. But, Ryouga being Ryouga, he decided not to wait. Despite his lousy sense of direction, he chose to look for Ranma, quickly becoming lost in a maze of booths, and didn't even know how to get back to the fish tank stand, only twenty feet away. It was then that Akane had entered the fair, having not seen Ranma or Ryouga at the entrance. She was slightly angry at their impatience, not waiting for her. She ran through the crowd looking for them, but saw no sign of them. As she rounded the corner of a tent, she accidentally ran into a couple, barely avoiding them and knocking them over. To avoid hurting them, however, she had put herself off balance and began to fall. As she did, her open purse lost some of its contents, including the magical rope. Akane realized what it was as soon as she saw it, and desperately tried to grab it before it could affect anyone; unfortunately, she was too late. For although she could not see it, the rope had fallen away from her and as she touched the rope, she felt for the second time the magic of her soul switching bodies with someone else. At first Akane thought this person had also fallen to the ground, likely by her own doing, because she saw everything from a ground view. She tried to stand and apologize while explaining the rope. Akane's first shock was when she realized she *was* standing. Her second came when she heard herself say "Bwee!" "Oh no!" she thought. Quickly, Akane looked at herself, and realized she had become a pig! But not just any pig, but P-chan himself! She turned to find her own body, realizing that a pig would not be able to deal with being human, and to her dismay could not find her body. That was when the third shock hit: she realized she couldn't find her way around. She was lost. "Oh no, what do I do? How can I find Ranma or Ryouga? And what about my body?!" Panic overtook Akane, and she began to run, looking high and (mostly) low for them, but only succeeded in making herself even more lost. She plopped herself down where she was and began to cry. ***** Ryouga lay there for a moment, stunned, thinking he had fallen when tried to walk. He quickly realized he had arms, not trotters. "That's funny, I'm not wet at all. So how did I change back?" Ryouga stood up to brush himself off when the first shock hit him: he was wearing a dress. "Very funny Ranma, I'll get you for this." Speaking brought on the second shock: a girl's voice. Quickly he rushed to a nearby washroom to find a mirror to look into. Ryouga was oblivious to several boys in the washroom falling over with nosebleeds, or rushing to get away from this pervert girl. Looking into the mirror, the third shock hit him. "Oh god, I've turned into Akane!" ***** "Hey, Ryouga! Where are you?" shouted Ranma as he searched back at the fishtank for his friend/enemy. He gathered Ryouga's clothes from where they had lain, and began to search. He saw no sign of the little pig, and none of the vendors would answer him when he asked for help. Ranma knew Ryouga could look after himself, but didn't feel like having Akane malleting him for abandoning the lost boy. Ranma's search took him by a nearby tent, and he saw a rope lying on the ground unused. He gathered it up, figuring it might come in useful. "Now when I find him, I can at least keep him under control," he said. "C'mon, Mr. P, I ain't got all night, y'know," he yelled. ***** Ryouga looked very pale as he left the washroom, mortified to realize he was now a girl. He almost laughed when he knew he finally understood what Ranma felt in his cursed body. "I have to find myself," he said, then corrected himself, "I mean, Akane." That thought brought him to a standstill. "Oh no! If I see Akane like this, she'll realize my secret! I'm supposed to be just a pig!" Fear ran through his mind over what to do, then he decided on the best course of action: go home to the dojo. "Ranma will be looking for me, and will probably just take Akane/P-chan home when he doesn't find Akane. That's probably the best thing to do." So despite wanting to search for Akane, Ryouga left. He began walking down streets, through the neighborhood, and soon came to the dojo. Bracing himself to pretend to be Akane, he entered the yard and went inside. Kasumi heard the front door open and came to see who it was. "Oh, hello Akane!" she said in a cheery voice. "Did you find Ranma and Ryouga?" "I am...uh, no K-Kasumi, I didn't. I'm going to go to bed early. I...don't think I'll wait up for Ranma, but could you ask him to come to my room when he gets back?" "Sure, Akane, I will. Good night!" said Kasumi as she went back into the kitchen. Ryouga sighed with relief, hoping not to see anyone else before entering Akane's room. He quietly climbed the stairs, thankful that no one else was around, and went inside. He pulled off the sweater, then realized with a start he was about to undress. "I can't stay in these clothes if Kasumi checks on me, but I can't look at myself naked without betraying Akane," he thought, barely suppressing a nosebleed. Panic almost overtook him before he finally chose to get into bed still dressed. Hopefully, Ranma would soon be home. ***** Ranma's search was still fruitless, searching around the fair as it began to close for the night. Since he knew Ryouga could find his own way and be alright, Ranma figured it would be okay to just leave without him and deal with Akane's mallet. Ranma walked to the gate to leave when he was surprised by what he saw: sitting there, beside the gate, was P-chan! Ranma inwardly sighed with relief knowing he wouldn't be stomped on by his uncute fiance, and walked over to pick up the little pig. P-chan, really Akane, was still crying as a hand picked her up by the bandanna and looked her in the eyes. "Ranma!" she thought, as joy overtook her, so happy was she to see him. She wanted to hug him and wash away her tears, knowing she was now safe. Unfortunately, Ranma, not knowing who this really was, took this as typical Ryouga behaviour. "Come on, Mr. P, I'm taking you home, so stop fighting. You *do* want to see Akane, don't you?" said Ranma to the happy piglet. "This time I'm gonna make sure you don't get lost," he said as he put the pig under his foot to hold it in place, not knowing the soul in that body was becoming furious at this treatment. Ranma then reached down and picked up the pig who was now horrified at what it saw. Ranma had turned the rope into a leash. Akane immediately recognized the rope and began to wriggle and fight to avoid touching it. Ranma said "Look, P-chan, I'm not gonna hang you, ok? It's not a noose," but P-chan continued to struggle. As the rope came around P-chan's head while still in Ranma's hand, the magic struck again. Ranma soon found himself in P-chan's body, and a very angry Akane in his. "Ranma, you jerk! How DARE you step on me! Baka!" screamed Akane as she punted Ranma/P-chan into the night, with the rope following after him like a comet's tail. Akane watched as Ranma flew away. Then, as her anger began to subside, she realized she was now a boy. Ranma, to be exact. She screamed. Or, to be precise, he did. ***** Ranma felt himself flying off away from the fair. He was used to his own body, boy or girl, going Air Akane off to somewhere, but it was so unusual to be doing it as a pig. It was very difficult for him to judge where he was going to land, but as he neared his target, he knew where he was going to end up. *SPLASH* Luckily for Ranma, the end of the rope fell off to the side of the pond, so it didn't touch any of the carp; he couldn't imagine what could go wrong if he turned into a fish. He managed to extract himself from the water, then shook himself off, and looked at his surroundings. Despite knowing this was home, somehow he couldn't quite figure out how to get back inside the house. As he walked with the rope trailing after him and certain he was heading in the right direction, he wound up in the dojo. Upstairs, Ryouga was sitting in bed, waiting and thinking about what to do when he heard a splash from the yard. He raced to the window to open it and look at what happened. "That...that coward! How *dare* he treat me or Akane like that," thought Ryouga, still believing Akane's soul was in his body. As he leapt down to the ground, he was unsure of what to do. By picking her up, he would give away his deepest secret, since Akane would likely guess who had been in her body, but to simply leave her suffering at Saotome's mistreatment was more than he could bear. So he made a decision. "Forgive me, Akane..." thought Ryouga as he walked to the dojo. ***** Akane was furious, storming home at full speed, lathering up for another crack at that jerk. At least having Ranma's body made it a quick journey. She entered the yard and walked toward the house when she saw a movement inside the open door of the dojo. Worried that it might be a burglar, yet hoping it was Ranma so she could pound him, she walked across the yard to the dojo and went inside. Akane, in Ranma's body, saw her own body kneeling and holding P-chan in her hands. Akane walked over and snatched P-chan away from her own body and began to scream at the little pig. "So, you jerk, you like treating me AND P-chan like that? Well how about a taste of your own medicine, hm? DIE, RANMA!" she yelled as she malleted the little pig. Turning to her own body and picking up the rope from the floor, Akane spoke "Don't worry, P-chan, mommy's going to make it all better now, you'll have your own body back soon, I promise," then tossed the end of the rope to her body as she held the end. The magic struck once again as Akane felt her soul reenter her own body. She was relieved to find herself as she should, with none of those awful male body parts. "Now let go of the rope, baby, and I'll get you back to your own body," Akane said in a soothing voice as she patted Ranma's head. "No thanks, Akane, I'm fine as I am." said Ranma's body. Akane's eyes flew wide open in surprise. "P-chan! You can talk?!" "No, dummy, I'm Ranma. I found your body wandering around and switched souls into your body. After all, I'm used to being a girl sometimes, so it was no big deal. But you're definitely not as well built as I am." Fuming, Akane dropped the rope and slugged Ranma, sending him flying into the far wall of the dojo. "YOU JERK! PERVERT! OOOHH!" But almost immediately, Akane's anger dissipated as it struck her: she had malleted P-chan. "Oh, poor baby!" she cried as she picked up the little pig, just recovering from the blow. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I'll take you inside and give you a nice, warm bath, okay, baby?" The words "warm bath" brought Ryouga the rest of the way from his stupor, and in fear he wriggled his way out of Akane's hands, falling to the floor. "Hey, you guys wanna keep it down in here? *Some* of us want to sleep, you know." It was a new voice that came from the doorway to the dojo, that of Nabiki's. "Sorry, sis, it was just Ranma mistreating P-chan again," said Akane as P-chan began to run from the threat of a warm bath. As he did, the rope tangled around his leg and was carried with him as he ran for the door. "I don't care what you do in the night, Akane, just try to keep the noise do...." Nabiki's eyes glazed over. Ranma, now recovering, saw this. "Oh no, not again...." ====================================================================== E N D ====================================================================== Author's note: If you didn't pick it up, I make the assumption that it is Ryouga's body that has the directional problem, not his mind. Hence, this is why Akane couldn't find her way out of the fair while P-chan, nor could Ranma find his way into the house, while at the same time Ryouga easily made it home in Akane's body. C&C welcome at: shunsuke@mailcity.com www.fortunecity.com/victorian/university/5/index.htm www.fortunecity.com/victorian/university/5/a-fanfic.htm