"Armistice"

I'm losing at this game I play
inheriting the wind so cold
trying to wish my worry and problems away
as if that would make them stay

I try to make poetic sense
of the troubles in my turbulent sea
looking for the beacon of providence
that eludes me every time I sit on the fence

I'm in the service of the queen of the in between
I carry the coat of arms of all the world's useless charms
what king do I serve? I ask myself
can there be an armistice to the conflict within
or will we end up each time like we begin?

anger and despair keeping me away
until I look like a fool and fall down
harsh conviction that sounds so gentle
reminds me of the day you wore my crown

Looking into the looking glass
that I see through so darkly
I have my gifts but I have nothing to give
because the love in my heart isn't something I live

You could crush me into nothing
turn me back into dust
I don't know what you see in me
what redeeming quality?

I'm in the service of the queen of the in between
I carry the coat of arms of all the world's useless charms
what king do I serve? I ask myself
can there be an armistice to the conflict within
or will we end up each time like we begin?

Washed in the blood
but I don't see the stains
a debt I won't live down
death without honor the day you wore my crown