"Verboten"

I eat of your bounty
and you consume me
and after the binge
I feel so frail and hungry

Anorexia of the soul
with all the awful things I do
digging my hole without stopping
and calling for help
Your arm reaches out for me
but to take hold
would mean giving up this pain so bitter and cold

And to live happily
would mean you'd empty me out and cleanse
and then I wouldn't have all the excuses
to justify the ends.

I should have died a million times
and yet you have a plan in this
and now I can't see anything that shines
in this absolute nothingness

see the void
only blood can fill this hole
but I walk away on purpose
anorexia of the soul...

Better by design
I'll learn from my mistake
it's your fault not mine
for this burden that I take
I don't know right
I don't know wrong
I thought you were weak
I thought that I was strong
but when I've nearly wasted away
because I cant take today
you're protecting me from this pain
but I never choose to stay the same
you're right
I'm wrong
don't say goodbye
make it so long
many mansions
built on the rock
but I live in this cardboard box
in the midst of a God-shaped hole
anorexia of the soul