As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself
transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. He was lying on his hard,
as it were armor-plated, back and when he lifted his head a little he could
see his domelike brown belly divided into stiff arched segments on top
of which the bed quilt could hardly stay in place and was about to slide
off completely. His numerous legs, which were pitifully thin compared to
the rest of his bulk, waved helplessly before his eyes.
What has happened to me? he thought. It was no dream. His room, a regular
human bedroom, only rather too small, lay quiet within its four familiar
walls. Above the table on which a collection of cloth samples was unpacked
and spread out—Samsa was a traveling salesman—hung the picture which he
had recently cut out of an illustrated magazine and put into a pretty gilt
frame. It showed a lady, with a fur hat on and a fur stole, sitting upright
and holding out to the spectator a huge fur muff into which the whole of
her forearm had vanished!
Gregor's eyes turned next to the window, and the overcast sky—one could
hear raindrops beating on the window gutter—made him quite melancholy.
What about sleeping a little longer and forgetting all this nonsense, he
thought, but it could not be done, for he was accustomed to sleep on his
right side and in his present condition he could not turn himself over.
However violently he forced himself toward his right side he always rolled
onto his back again. He tried it at least a hundred times, shutting his
eyes to keep from seeing his struggling legs, and only desisted when he
began to feel in his side a faint dull ache he had never felt before.
Oh God, he thought, what an exhausting job I've picked out for myself!
On the road day in, day out. It's much more irritating work than doing
the actual business in the home office, and on top of that there's the
trouble of constant traveling, of worrying about train connections, the
bad food and irregular meals, casual acquaintances that are always new
and never become intimate friends. The devil take it all! He felt a slight
itching up on his belly, slowly pushed himself on his back nearer to the
top of the bed so that he could lift his head more easily, identified the
itching place which was surrounded by many small white spots the nature
of which he could not understand and was about to touch it with a leg,
but drew the leg back immediately, for the contact made a cold shiver run
through him.
He slid down again into his former position. This getting up early,
he thought, can make an idiot out of anyone. A man needs his sleep. Other
salesmen live like harem women. For instance, when I come back to the hotel
in the morning to write up my orders these others are only sitting down
to breakfast. Let me just try that with my boss; I’d be fired on the spot.
Anyhow, that might be quite a good thing for me, who can tell? If I didn't
have to hold back because of my parents I'd have given notice long ago,
I'd have gone to the boss and told him exactly what I think of him. That
would knock him right off his desk! It's a peculiar habit of his, too,
sitting on top of the desk like that and talking down to employees, especially
when they have to come quite near because the boss is hard of hearing.
Well, there's still hope; once I've saved enough money to pay back my parents'
debts to him—that should take another five or six years—I'll do it without
fail. I’ll cut my ties completely then. For the moment, though, I'd better
get up, since my train leaves at five.
He looked at the alarm clock ticking on the chest of drawers. Heavenly
Father! he thought. It was half-past six and the hands were quietly moving
on, it was even past the half-hour, it was getting on toward a quarter
to seven. Had the alarm clock not gone off? From the bed one could see
that it had been properly set for four o'clock; of course it must have
gone off. Yes, but was it possible to sleep quietly through that ear-splitting
noise? Well, he had not slept quietly, yet apparently all the more soundly
for that. But what was he to do now? The next train went at seven o'clock;
to catch that he would need to hurry like mad and his samples weren't even
packed, and he himself wasn't feeling particularly fresh and energetic.
And even if he did catch the train he couldn't avoid a tirade from the
boss, since the messenger boy must have been waiting for the five o'clock
train and must have long since reported his failure to turn up. This messenger
was a creature of the boss's, spineless and stupid. Well, supposing he
were to say he was sick? But that would be very awkward and would look
suspicious, since during his five years’ employment he had not been ill
once. The boss himself would be sure to come with the health insurance
doctor, would reproach his parents for their son's laziness, and would
cut all excuses short by handing the matter over to the insurance doctor,
who of course regarded all mankind as perfectly healthy malingerers. And
would he be so far wrong in this case? Gregor really felt quite well, apart
from a drowsiness that was quite inexcusable after such a long sleep, and
he was even unusually hungry.
As all this was running through his mind at top speed without his being
able to decide to leave his bed—the alarm clock had just struck a quarter
to seven—there was a cautious tap at the door near the head of his bed.
"Gregor," said a voice—it was his mother's—"it's a quarter to seven. Didn't
you have a train to catch?" That gentle voice! Gregor had a shock as he
heard his own voice answering hers, unmistakably his own voice, it was
true, but with a persistent horrible twittering squeak behind it like an
undertone, which left the words in their clear shape only for the first
moment and then rose up reverberating around them to destroy their sense,
so that one could not be sure one had heard them rightly. Gregor wanted
to answer at length and explain everything, but in the circumstances he
confined himself to saying: "Yes, yes, thank you, Mother, I'm getting up
now." The wooden door between them must have kept the change in his voice
from being noticeable outside, for his mother contented herself with this
statement and shuffled away. Yet this brief exchange of words had made
the other members of the family aware that Gregor was, strangely, still
at home, and at one of the side doors his father was already knocking,
gently, yet with his fist. "Gregor, Gregor," he called, "What's the matter
with you?" And after a little while he called again in a deeper voice:
"Gregor! Gregor!" At the other side door his sister was saying in a low,
plaintive tone: "Gregor? Aren't you well? Do you need anything?" He answered
them both at once: "I'm just about ready," and did his best to make his
voice sound as normal as possible by enunciating the words very clearly
and leaving long pauses between them. So his father went back to his breakfast,
but his sister whispered: "Gregor, open the door, I beg you." However,
he was not thinking of opening the door, and felt thankful for the prudent
habit he had acquired on the road of locking all doors during the night,
even at home.
His immediate intention was to get up quietly without being disturbed,
to put on his clothes and above all eat his breakfast, and only then to
consider what else had to be done, since he was well aware his meditations
would come to no sensible conclusion if he remained in bed. He remembered
that often enough in bed he had felt small aches and pains, probably caused
by lying in awkward positions, which had proved purely imaginary once he
got up, and he looked forward eagerly to seeing this morning's delusions
gradually evaporate. That the change in his voice was nothing but the precursor
of a bad cold, a typical ailment of traveling salesmen, he had not the
slightest doubt.
To get rid of the quilt was quite easy; he had only to inflate himself
a little and it fell off by itself. But the next move was difficult, especially
because he was so unusually broad. He would have needed arms and hands
to hoist himself up; instead he had only the numerous little legs which
never stopped waving in all directions and which he could not control in
the least. When he tried to bend one of them the first thing it did was
to stretch itself out straight; and if he finally succeeded in making it
do what he wanted, all the other legs meanwhile waved the more wildly in
the most painful anal unpleasant way. "But what's the use of lying idle
in bed?" said Gregor to himself.
He thought that he might get out of bed with the lower part of his body
first, but this lower part, which he had not yet seen and of which he could
form no clear picture, proved too difficult to move; it shifted so slowly;
and when finally, almost wild with annoyance, he gathered his forces together
and thrust out recklessly, he had miscalculated the direction and bumped
heavily against the lower end of the bed, and the stinging pain he felt
informed him that precisely this lower part of his body was at the moment
probably the most sensitive.
So he tried to get the top part of himself out first, and cautiously
moved his head toward the edge of the bed. That proved easy enough, and
despite its breadth and mass the bulk of his body at last slowly followed
the movement of his head. Still, when he finally got his head free over
the edge of the bed he felt too scared to go on advancing, for, after all,
if he let himself fall in this way it would take a miracle to keep his
head from being injured. And under no circumstances could he afford to
lose consciousness now, precisely now; he would rather stay in bed.
But when after a repetition of the same efforts he lay in his former
position again, sighing, and watched his little legs struggling against
each other more wildly than ever, if that were possible, and saw no way
of bringing any calm and order into this senseless confusion, he told himself
again that it was impossible to stay in bed and that the most sensible
course was to risk everything for the smallest hope of getting away from
it. At the same time, however, he did not forget to remind himself occasionally
that cool reflection, the coolest possible, was much better than desperate
resolves. At such moments he focused his eyes as sharply as possible on
the window, but, unfortunately, the prospect of the morning fog, which
enshrouded even the other side of the narrow street, brought him little
encouragement and comfort. "Seven o’clock already," he said to himself
when the alarm clock chimed again, "seven o'clock already and still such
a thick fog." And for a little while he lay quiet, breathing lightly as
if perhaps expecting the total silence around him to restore all things
to their real and normal condition.
But then he said to himself: "Before it strikes a quarter past seven
I absolutely must be quite out of this bed, without fail. Anyhow, by that
time someone will have come from the office to ask for me, since it opens
before seven." And he began to rock his whole body at once in a regular
rhythm, with the idea of swinging it out of the bed. If he tipped himself
out in that way he could keep his head from injury by lifting it at a sharp
angle as he fell. His back seemed to be hard and was not likely to suffer
from a fall on the carpet. His biggest worry was the loud crash he would
not be able to help making which would probably cause anxiety, if not terror,
behind all the doors. Still, he must take the risk.
When he was already half out of the bed—the new method was more a game
than an effort, for he needed only to shift himself across by rocking to
and fro—it struck him how simple it would be if he could get help. Two
strong people—he thought of his father and the maid—would be amply sufficient;
they would only have to thrust their arms under his convex back, lever
him out of the bed, bend down with their burden, and then be patient enough
to let him turn himself right over onto the floor, where it was to be hoped
his little legs would then find their proper function. Well, ignoring the
fact that the doors were all locked, should he really call for help? In
spite of his predicament he could not suppress a smile at the very idea
of it.
He had already gotten to the point where he would lose his balance if
he rocked any harder, and very soon he would have to make up his mind once
and for all since in five minutes it would be a quarter past seven—when
the front doorbell rang. "That's someone from the office," he said to himself,
and grew almost rigid, while his little legs only thrashed about all the
faster. For a moment everything stayed quiet. "They're not going to open
the door," said Gregor to himself, grasping at some kind of irrational
hope. But then of course the maid went as usual to the door with her determined
stride and opened it. Gregor needed only to hear the first good morning
of the visitor to know immediately who it was—the chief clerk himself.
What a fate: to be condemned to work for a firm where the slightest negligence
at once gave rise to the gravest suspicion! Were all the employees nothing
but a bunch of scoundrels, was there not among them one single loyal devoted
man who, had he wasted only an hour or so of the firm's time in the morning,
was so tormented by conscience as to be driven out of his mind and actually
incapable of leaving his bed? Wouldn't it really have been sufficient to
send an office boy to inquire—if indeed any inquiry were necessary—did
the chief clerk himself have to come and thus indicate to the entire innocent
family that this suspicious circumstance could be investigated by no one
less versed in affairs than himself? And more through the agitation caused
by these reflections than through any act of will Gregor swung himself
out of bed with all his strength. There was a loud thump, but it was not
really a crash. His fall was broken to some extent by the carpet, his back,
too, was less stiff than he had thought, and so there was merely a dull
thud, not so very startling. Only he had not lifted his head carefully
enough and had hit it; he turned it and rubbed it on the carpet in pain
and irritation.
"Something fell in there," said the chief clerk in the adjacent room
to the left. Gregor tried to suppose to himself that something like what
had happened to him today might someday happen to the chief clerk; one
really could not deny that it was possible. But, as if in brusque reply
to this supposition, the chief clerk took a couple of firm steps in the
next door room and his patent leather boots creaked. From the right-hand
room his sister was whispering to inform him of the situation: "Gregor,
the chief clerk's here." "I know," muttered Gregor to himself; but he didn't
dare to make his voice loud enough for his sister to hear it.
"Gregor," said his father now from the room on the left, "the chief
clerk has come and wants to know why you didn't catch the early train.
We don't know what to say to him. Besides, he wants to talk to you in person.
So open the door, please. He will be good enough to excuse the mess in
your room." "Good morning, Mr. Samsa," the chief clerk was calling amiably
meanwhile. "He's not well," said his mother to the visitor, while his father
was still speaking through the door, "he's not well, sir, believe me. What
else would make him miss a train! The boy thinks about nothing but his
work. It makes me almost cross the way he never goes out in the evening;
he's been here all last week and has stayed at home every single evening.
He just sits there quietly at the table reading a newspaper or looking
through railroad timetables. The only amusement he gets is working with
his jigsaw. For instance, he spent two or three evenings cutting out a
little picture frame; you would be surprised to see how pretty it is; it's
hanging in his room; you'll see it in a minute when Gregor opens the door.
I must say I'm glad you've come, sir; we should never have gotten him to
unlock the door by ourselves; he's so obstinate; and I'm sure he's unwell,
even if he denied it earlier this morning." "I'll be right there," said
Gregor slowly and carefully, not moving an inch for fear of losing one
word of the conversation. "I can't think of any other explanation, madam,"
said the chief clerk, "I hope it's nothing serious. Although on the other
hand I must say that we men of business—unfortunately or perhaps fortunately—very
often simply have to ignore any slight indisposition, since business must
be attended to." "Well, can the chief clerk come in now?" asked Gregor’s
father impatiently, again knocking on the door. "No," said Gregor. In the
left-hand room a painful silence followed this refusal; in the right-hand
room his sister began to sob.
Why didn't his sister join the others? She had probably just gotten
out of bed and hadn't even begun to put on her clothes yet. Well, why was
she crying? Because he wouldn't get up and let the chief clerk in, because
he was in danger of losing his job, and because the head of the firm would
begin dunning his parents again for the old debts? Surely these were things
one didn't need to worry about for the present. Gregor was still at home
and not in the least thinking of deserting the family. At the moment, true,
he was lying on the carpet and no one who knew the condition he was in
could seriously expect him to admit the chief clerk. But for such a small
discourtesy, which could plausibly be explained away somehow later on,
Gregor could hardly be fired on the spot. And it seemed to Gregor that
it would be much more sensible to leave him in peace for the present than
to trouble him with tears and entreaties. Still, of course, their uncertainty
bewildered them all and excused their behavior.
"Mr. Samsa," the chief clerk called now in a louder voice, "what's the
matter with you? Here you are, barricading yourself in your room, giving
only 'yes' and 'no' for answers, causing your parents a lot of unnecessary
trouble and neglecting—I mention this only in passing—neglecting your business
duties in an incredible fashion. I am speaking here in the name of your
parents and of your employer, and I beg you quite seriously to give me
an immediate and precise explanation. You amaze me, you amaze me. I thought
you were a quiet, dependable person, and now all at once you seem bent
on making a disgraceful exhibition of yourself. The boss did hint to me
early this morning a possible explanation for your disappearance—with reference
to the cash payments that were entrusted to you recently—but I almost pledged
my solemn word of honor that this could not be so. But now that I see how
incredibly obstinate you are. I no longer have the slightest desire to
take your part at all. And your position in the firm is not exactly unassailable.
I came with the intention of telling you all this in private, but since
you are wasting my time so needlessly I don't see why your parents shouldn't
hear it too. For some time now your work has been most unsatisfactory;
this is not the best time of the year for business, of course, we admit
that, but a time of the year for doing no business at all, that does not
exist, Mr. Samsa, must not exist."
"But, sir," cried Gregor, beside himself and in his agitation forgetting
everything else, "I'm just about to open the door this very minute. A slight
illness, an attack of dizziness, has kept me from getting up. I'm still
lying in bed. But I feel all right again. I'm getting out of bed right
now. Just give me a moment or two longer! It's not going as well as I thought.
But I'm all right, really. How such a thing can suddenly strike one down!
Only last night I was quite well, my parents can tell you, or rather I
did have a slight presentiment. I must have showed some sign of it. Why
didn't I mention it at the office! But we always think we can get over
any illness without having to stay at home. Oh sir, do spare my parents!
All that you're reproaching me with now has no foundation; no one has ever
said a word to me about it. Perhaps you haven't looked at the last orders
I sent in. Anyway, I can still catch the eight o'clock train, I'm much
the better for my few extra hours' rest. Don't let me detain you here,
sir; I'll be attending to business very soon, and do be good enough to
tell the boss so and to give him my best regards!"
And while all this was tumbling out in a rush and Gregor hardly knew
what he was saying, he had reached the chest of drawers quite easily, perhaps
because of the practice he had had in bed, and was now trying to get himself
upright by means of it. He actually meant to open the door, actually meant
to show himself and speak to the chief clerk; he was eager to find out
what the others, after all their insistence, would say at the sight of
him. If they were horrified then the responsibility was no longer his and
he could relax. But if they took it in stride, then he had no reason either
to be upset, and could actually get to the station for the eight o'clock
train if he hurried. At first he slipped down a few times from the polished
surface of the chest, but finally with one last heave he stood upright;
he paid no more attention to the pains in the lower part of his body, no
matter how much they smarted. Then he let himself fall against the back
of a nearby chair, and clung to its frame with his little legs. With that
he regained control over himself and he stopped speaking, for now he could
hear that the chief clerk was saying something.
"Did you understand one single word of that?" the chief clerk was asking;
"surely he can't be trying to make fools of us?" "Oh, dear God," cried
his mother, in tears, "perhaps he's terribly ill and we're tormenting him.
Grete! Grete!" she called out then. "Yes, Mother?" called his sister from
the other side. They were calling to each other through Gregor's room.
"You must go this minute for the doctor. Gregor is ill. Go for the doctor,
quick. Did you hear how he was speaking?" "That was the voice of an animal,"
said the chief clerk in a voice conspicuously soft compared to the shrillness
of the mother's. "Anna! Anna!" his father was calling through the hall
to the kitchen, clapping his hands, "get a locksmith at once!" And the
two girls were already running through the hall with a swish of skirts—how
could his sister have gotten dressed so quickly?—and were tearing the front
door open. There was no sound of its closing again; they had evidently
left it open, as one does in homes where some great misfortune has happened.
But Gregor was now much calmer. The words he uttered could no longer
be understood apparently, although they seemed clear enough to him, even
clearer than before, perhaps because his ear had grown accustomed to the
sound of them. Yet at any rate people now believed that something was wrong
with him, and were ready to help. The positive certainty with which these
first measures had been taken comforted him. He felt himself drawn once
more into the human circle and hoped for great and remarkable results from
both the doctor and the locksmith, without really distinguishing precisely
between them. To make his voice as clear as possible for the crucial consultations
that were soon to take place he cleared his throat a little, as quietly
as he could, of course, since this noise too might not sound human for
all he was able to judge. In the next room meanwhile there was complete
silence. Perhaps his parents were sitting at the table with the chief clerk,
whispering, perhaps they were all leaning against the door and listening.
Slowly Gregor pushed the chair toward the door, then let go of it, caught
hold of the door for support—the pads at the ends of his little legs were
somewhat sticky—and rested against it for a moment after his efforts. Then
he set himself to turning the key in the lock with his mouth. It seemed,
unfortunately, that he didn't really have any teeth—what was he supposed
to grip the key with?—but on the other hand his jaws were certainly very
strong; with their help he did manage to get the key turning, heedless
of the fact that he was undoubtedly damaging himself, since a brown fluid
issued from his mouth, flowed over the key, and dripped onto the floor.
"Just listen to that," said the chief clerk in the next room, "he's turning
the key." That was a great encouragement to Gregor; but they should all
have shouted encouragement to him, his father and mother too: "Come on,
Gregor," they should have called out, "keep going, get a good grip on that
key!" And in the belief that they were all following his efforts intently,
he bit down frantically on the key with all the force at his command. As
the turning of the key progressed he circled around the lock, holding on
now only with his mouth, pushing on the key, as required, or pulling it
down again with all the weight of his body. The louder click of the finally
yielding lock literally quickened Gregor. With a deep breath of relief
he said to himself: "So I didn't need the locksmith," and laid his head
on the handle to open the door wide.
Since he had to pull the door toward him, he was still invisible even
when it was really wide open. He had to edge himself slowly around the
near half of the double door, and to do it very carefully if he was not
to fall flat on his back before he even got inside. He was still carrying
out this difficult maneuver, with no time to observe anything else, when
he heard the chief clerk utter a loud "Oh!"—it sounded like a gust of wind—and
now he could see the man, standing as he was nearest to the door, clapping
one hand over his open mouth and slowly backing away as if he were being
repelled by some unseen but inexorable force. His mother—in spite of the
chief clerk's presence her hair was still undone and sticking out in all
directions—first clasped her hands and looked at his father, then took
two steps toward Gregor and fell on the floor among her outspread skirts,
her face completely hidden on her breast. His father clenched one fist
with a fierce expression on his face as if he meant to knock Gregor back
into his room, then looked uncertainly around the living room, covered
his eyes with his hands, and wept until his great chest heaved.
Gregor did not go now into the living room, but leaned against the inside
of the firmly shut wing of the door, so that only half his body was visible
and his head above it tilted sideways to look at the others. It had meanwhile
become much brighter outside; on the other side of the street one could
see clearly a section of the endlessly long, dark gray building opposite—it
was a hospital—its facade relentlessly punctuated by evenly spaced windows;
the rain was still falling, but only in large, singly discernible drops,
each one of which, it seemed, was literally being hurled to the ground
below. The breakfast dishes were set out on the table in great number,
for breakfast was the most important meal of the day for Gregor's father,
who stretched it out for hours over various newspapers. Right opposite
Gregor on the wall hung a photograph of himself in military service, as
a lieutenant, hand on sword, a carefree smile on his face, inviting respect
for his uniform and military bearing. The door leading to the hall was
open, and one could see that the front door stood open too, showing the
landing beyond and the beginning of the stairs going down.
"Well," said Gregor, knowing perfectly that he was the only one who
had retained any composure, "I'll get dressed right away, pack up my samples,
and start off. Will you, will you be willing to let me go? You see, sir,
I'm not stubborn, and I like my work; traveling is a hard life, but I couldn't
live without it. Where are you going now, sir? To the office? Yes? Will
you give an honest account of all this? One can be temporarily incapacitated,
but that's just the moment for remembering former services and for bearing
in mind that later on, when the problem has been resolved, one will certainly
work all the harder and with all the more concentration. I'm so indebted
to the head of the firm, you know that very well. On the other hand, I
have my parents and my sister to worry about. I'm in great difficulties,
but I'll get out of them again. Don't make things any worse for me than
they already are. Stand up for me in the firm. Salesmen are not popular
there, I know. People think they earn piles of money and just have a good
time. A prejudice there's no particular reason to correct. But you, sir,
have a better view of the situation than the rest of the staff, yes, let
me tell you in confidence, a better view than the boss himself, who, being
the owner, lets his judgment be easily swayed against one of his employees.
And you know very well that a traveling salesman, who is almost never seen
in the office all year long, can so easily fall victim to gossip and bad
luck and unfair accusations he can't defend himself against because he
generally knows nothing about them and only finds out when he comes back
exhausted from one of his trips and then has to suffer the terrible consequences
in some mysterious personal way. Sir, sir, don't go away without a word
to me to show that you think me in the right at least to some extent!"
But at Gregor's very first words the chief clerk had already backed
away and only stared at him with parted lips over one twitching shoulder.
And while Gregor was speaking he did not stand still one moment but inched
toward the door, yet without taking his eyes off Gregor, as if obeying
some mysterious order not to leave the room. He was already in the hall,
and to judge from the suddenness with which he took his last step out of
the living room one could easily have thought he had burned the sole of
his foot. Once in the hall he stretched his right arm before him toward
the staircase as if some supernatural power were waiting there to deliver
him.
Gregor realized that the chief clerk must on no account be allowed to
go away in this frame of mind if his position in the firm were not to be
endangered to the utmost. His parents did not understand this so well;
they had convinced themselves in the course of years that Gregor was settled
for life in this firm, and, besides, they were so preoccupied with their
immediate troubles that all foresight had forsaken them. But Gregor had
this foresight. The chief clerk must be detained, soothed, persuaded, and
finally won over; the whole future of Gregor and his family depended on
it! If only his sister were here! She was intelligent; she had begun to
cry even while Gregor was still lying quietly on his back. And no doubt
the chief clerk, so partial to ladies, would have been guided by her; she
would have shut the door to the apartment and in the hall talked him out
of his horror. But she was not there, and Gregor would have to handle the
situation himself. And without remembering that he was still unaware what
powers of movement he possessed, without even remembering that his words
in all possibility, indeed in all likelihood, would again be unintelligible,
he let go the wing of the door, pushed himself through the opening, and
started to walk toward the chief clerk, who was already clinging ridiculously
with both hands to the railing on the landing; but immediately, as he was
feeling for a support, he fell down with a little cry upon all his numerous
legs. Hardly was he down when he experienced for the first time this morning
a sense of physical well-being; his legs had firm ground under them; they
were completely obedient, as he noted with joy; they even strove to carry
him along in whatever direction he chose; and he was inclined to believe
that a final relief from all his sufferings was at hand. But at the same
moment as he found himself on the floor, not far from his mother, indeed
just in front of her, rocking with pent-up eagerness to move, she, who
had seemed so completely crushed, sprang all at once to her feet, her arms
and fingers spread wide, cried: "Help, for God's sake, help!" bent her
head down as if to see Gregor better, yet on the contrary kept backing
senselessly away; had quite forgotten that the breakfast table stood behind
her; sat down upon it abruptly and with a confused look on her face when
she bumped into it; and seemed altogether unaware that the big coffeepot
beside her had been tipped over and that coffee was gushing all over the
carpet.
"Mother, Mother," said Gregor in a low voice, and looked up at her.
The chief clerk had for the moment quite slipped from his mind; instead,
he could not resist snapping his jaws together a couple of times at the
sight of the streaming coffee. That made his mother scream again; she fled
from the table and fell into the arms of his father, who rushed to catch
her. But Gregor had no time now to spare for his parents; the chief clerk
was already on the stairs; with his chin on the banister he was taking
one last backward look. Gregor made a dash forward, to be as sure as possible
of overtaking him; the chief clerk must have suspected what he was up to,
for he leaped down several steps at once and vanished. "Aieee!" he yelled;
it was the last sound heard from him, and it echoed through the whole stairwell.
Unfortunately, the flight of the chief clerk seemed completely to unhinge
Gregor's father, who had remained relatively calm until now, for instead
of running after the man himself, or at least not hindering Gregor in his
pursuit, he seized in his right hand the walking stick that the chief clerk
had left behind on a chair, together with his hat and overcoat, snatched
in his left hand a large newspaper from the table, and began stamping his
feet and flourishing the cane and the newspaper to drive Gregor back into
his room. No entreaty of Gregor's was of any use, indeed no entreaty was
even understood; no matter how humbly he inclined his head his father only
stamped on the floor the more forcefully. Over there his mother had thrown
open a window, despite the cold weather, and was leaning far out of it
with her face in her hands. A powerful draft set in from the street to
the staircase, the window curtains blew in, the newspapers on the table
fluttered, stray pages sailed across the floor. Pitilessly Gregor's father
drove him back, making hissing sounds like a savage. But Gregor had had
no practice yet in walking backward, it really was a slow business. If
only he had a chance to turn around he could get back to his room at once,
but he was afraid of exasperating his father with such a time-consuming
maneuver and at any moment the stick in his father's hand might strike
him a fatal blow on the back or the head. In the end, however nothing else
was left for him to do since to his horror he realized that in moving backward
he could not even control the direction he took; and so, keeping an anxious
eye on his father all the time over his shoulder, he began to turn around
as quickly as he could, which was in reality very slowly. Perhaps his father
noticed his good intentions, for he did not interfere; instead, every now
and then he even directed the maneuver like a conductor from a distance
with the point of the stick. If only he would stop making that unbearable
hissing noise! It drove Gregor out of his mind. By the time he managed
to turn almost completely around, the hissing noise so distracted him that
he even turned a little too far. But when he finally succeeded in getting
his head right up in front of the doorway, it was clear that his body was
too broad to fit easily through the opening. His father, of course, in
his present mood was far from thinking of such a thing as opening the other
half of the door, to let Gregor have enough space. The only thought in
his head was that Gregor should get back into his room as quickly as possible.
He would never have allowed Gregor to make the complicated preparations
needed for standing upright again and perhaps slipping through the door
that way. On the contrary, the father was now making more noise than ever
in an effort to drive Gregor forward, as if there were no obstacle in the
way at all; to Gregor, though, the noise at his rear no longer sounded
like the voice of one single father; this was really no joke, and Gregor
thrust himself—come what might— into the doorway. One side of his body
rose up, he was tilted at an angle in the doorway, his flank was scraped
raw; horrid blotches stained the white door, soon he was stuck fast and,
left to himself, could not have moved at all; his little legs on one side
fluttered trembling in the air, those on the other were crushed painfully
to the floor—when from behind his father gave him a strong push which was
literally a deliverance and he flew far into the room, bleeding violently.
The door was slammed behind him with the stick, and then at last there
was silence.
Not until it was twilight did Gregor awake out of a deep sleep,
more like a swoon than a sleep. He would certainly have awoken of his own
accord not much later, for he felt himself sufficiently well rested, but
it seemed to him as if a fleeting step and a cautious shutting of the door
leading into the hall had aroused him. The electric lights in the street
cast a pale sheen here and there on the ceiling and the upper surfaces
of the furniture, but down below, where he lay, it was dark. Slowly, awkwardly
trying out his feelers, which he now first learned to appreciate, he pushed
his way to the door to see what had been happening there. His left side
felt like one single long, unpleasantly tense scar, and he had actually
to limp on his two rows of legs. One little leg, moreover, had been severely
damaged in the course of that morning's events—it was almost a miracle
that only one had been damaged—and trailed uselessly behind him.
He had reached the door before he discovered what had really drawn him
to it: the smell of food. For there stood a bowl filled with fresh milk
in which floated little slices of white bread. He could almost have laughed
with joy, since he was now far hungrier than in the morning, and he dipped
his head almost up to his eyes in the milk. But soon in disappointment
he withdrew it again; not only did he find it difficult to eat because
of his tender left side—and he could only eat with the cooperation of his
whole snorting body—he did not like the milk either, although milk had
been his favorite drink and that was certainly why his sister had set it
there for him; indeed it was almost with repulsion that he turned away
from the bowl and crawled back to the middle of the room.
He could see through the crack of the door that the gas was turned on
in the living room, but while usually at this time his father made a habit
of reading the afternoon newspaper in a loud voice to his mother and occasionally
to his sister as well, not a sound was now to be heard. Well, perhaps his
father had recently given up this habit of reading aloud, which his sister
had mentioned so often in conversation and in her letters. But there was
the same silence all around, although the apartment was certainly not empty
of occupants. "What a quiet life our family leads," said Gregor to himself,
and as he sat there motionless staring into the darkness he felt great
pride in the fact that he had been able to provide such a life for his
parents and sister in such a fine apartment. But what if all the quiet,
the comfort, the contentment were now to end in horror? To keep himself
from being lost in such thoughts Gregor took refuge in movement and crawled
back and forth in the room.
Once during the long evening one of the side doors was opened a little
and quickly shut again, later the other side door too; someone had apparently
wanted to come in and then thought better of it. Gregor now stationed himself
immediately before the living room door, determined to persuade any hesitating
visitor to come in or at least to discover who it might be; but the door
was not opened again and he waited in vain. In the early morning, when
the doors were locked, they had all wanted to come in, now that he had
opened one door and the others had apparently been opened during the day,
no one came in and even the keys were on the other side of the doors.
It was late at night before the gaslights were extinguished in the living
room, and Gregor could easily tell that his parents and his sister had
all stayed awake until then, for he could clearly hear the three of them
stealing away on tiptoe. No one was likely to visit him, not until the
morning, that was certain; so he had plenty of time to meditate at his
leisure on how he was to rearrange his life. But the lofty, empty room
in which he had to lie flat on the floor filled him with an apprehension
he could not account for, since it had been his very own room for the past
five years—and half-unconsciously, not without a slight feeling of shame,
he turned from the door and scuttled under the sofa, where he felt comfortable
at once, although his back was a little cramped and he could not lift his
head up, and his only regret was that his body was too broad to get all
of it under the sofa.
He stayed there all night, spending the time partly in a light slumber,
from which his hunger kept waking him up with a start, and partly in worrying
and sketching vague hopes, which all led to the same conclusion, that he
must lie low for the present and, by exercising patience and the utmost
consideration, help the family to bear the inconvenience he was bound to
cause them in his present condition.
Very early in the morning—it was still almost night—Gregor had the chance
to test the strength of his new resolutions, for his sister, nearly fully
dressed, opened the door from the hall and peered in apprehensively. She
did not see him at once, yet when she caught sight of him under the sofa—well,
he had to be somewhere, he couldn't have flown away, could he?—she was
so startled that without being able to help it she slammed the door shut
again. But as if regretting her behavior she opened the door again immediately
and came in on tiptoe, as if she were visiting an invalid or even a stranger.
Gregor had pushed his head forward to the very edge of the sofa and watched
her. Would she notice that he had left the milk standing, and not for lack
of hunger, and would she bring in some other kind of food more to his taste?
If she did not do it of her own accord, he would rather starve than draw
her attention to the fact, although he felt a wild impulse to dart out
from under the sofa, throw himself at her feet, and beg her for something
to eat. But his sister at once noticed, with surprise, that the bowl was
still full, except for a little milk that had been spilled all around it,
she lifted it immediately, not with her bare hands, true, but with a cloth
and carried it away. Gregor was extremely curious to know what she would
bring instead, and imagined all sorts of possibilities. Yet what she actually
did next, in the goodness of her heart, he could never have guessed. To
find out what he liked she brought him a whole selection of food, all set
out on an old newspaper. There were old, half decayed vegetables, bones
from last night's supper covered with a white sauce that had congealed,
some raisins and almonds; a piece of cheese that Gregor would have pronounced
inedible two days ago; a plain piece of bread, a buttered piece, and a
piece both buttered and salted. Besides all that, she set down again the
same bowl, into which she had poured some water, and which was apparently
to be reserved for his exclusive use. And with great tact, knowing that
Gregor would not eat in her presence, she withdrew quickly and even turned
the key, to let him understand that he could make himself as comfortable
as he liked. Gregor's little legs all whirred in his rush to get to the
food. His wounds must have healed completely, moreover, for he no longer
felt incapacitated, which amazed him and made him reflect how more than
a month ago he had cut one finger a little with a knife and was still suffering
from the wound only the day before yesterday. Might it be that I am less
sensitive now? he thought, and sucked greedily at the cheese, which more
than any of the other delicacies attracted him at once, and strongly. One
after another, and with tears of satisfaction in his eyes, he quickly devoured
the cheese, the vegetables, and the sauce; the fresh food, on the other
hand, had no charm for him, he could not even stand the smell of it and
actually dragged away to some little distance the things he wanted to eat.
He had long since finished his meal and was only lying lazily on the same
spot when his sister turned the key slowly as a sign for him to retreat.
That roused him at once, although he was nearly asleep, and he hurried
under the sofa again. But it took considerable self-control for him to
stay under the sofa, even for the short time his sister was in the room,
since the large meal had swollen his body somewhat and he was so cramped
he could hardly breathe. Slight attacks of breathlessness afflicted him
and his eyes were bulging a little from their sockets as he watched his
unsuspecting sister sweeping together with a broom not only the remains
of what he had eaten but even the things he had not touched, as if these
were now of no use to anyone, and hastily shoveling it all into a bucket,
which she covered with a wooden lid and carried away. Hardly had she turned
her back when Gregor came from under the sofa and stretched and puffed
himself out.
In this manner Gregor was fed, once in the early morning while his parents
and the maid were still asleep, and a second time after they had all had
their midday meal, for then his parents took a short nap and the girl could
be sent out on some errand or other by his sister. Not that they would
have wanted him to starve, of course, but perhaps they could not have endured
learning more about his feeding than from hearsay; perhaps too his sister
wanted to spare them such little anxieties wherever possible, since they
had quite enough to bear as it was.
Under what pretext the doctor and the locksmith had been gotten rid
of on that first morning Gregor could not discover, for since what he said
was not understood by the others it never occurred to any of them, not
even his sister, that he could understand what they said, and so whenever
his sister came into his room he had to content himself with hearing her
utter only a sigh now and then and an occasional appeal to the saints.
Later on, when she had gotten a little used to the situation—of course
she could never get completely used to it—Gregor would occasionally catch
a remark which was kindly meant or could be so interpreted. "Well, he liked
his dinner today," she would say when Gregor had gobbled down all of his
food; and when he had not eaten, which gradually happened more and more
often, she would say almost sadly: "Everything’s been left untouched again."
But although Gregor could get no news directly, he overheard a lot from
the neighboring rooms, and as soon as voices were audible, he would run
to the door of whichever room it was and press his whole body against it.
In the first few days especially there was no conversation that did not
concern him somehow, even if only indirectly. For two whole days there
were family consultations at every mealtime about what should be done;
but also between meals the same subject was discussed, for there were always
at least two members of the family at home, since no one wanted to be alone
in the apartment and to leave it altogether empty was unthinkable. And
on the very first of these days the cook—it was not quite clear what and
how much she knew of the situation—fell on her knees before his mother
and begged permission to leave, and when she departed a quarter of an hour
later gave thanks for her release with tears in her eyes as if this were
the greatest blessing that could ever be conferred on her, and without
any prompting swore a solemn oath that she would never say a single word
to anyone about what had happened.
Now Gregor's sister had to do the cooking too with her mother's help;
true, this did not amount to much, for they ate scarcely anything. Gregor
was always hearing one of the family vainly urging another to eat and getting
no answer but "Thanks, I've had all I want," or something similar. Nor
did they seem to be drinking anything either. Time and again his sister
kept asking his father if he wouldn't like some beer and kindly offered
to go and fetch it herself, and when he didn't answer suggested that she
could ask the concierge to fetch it, so that he need feel no sense of obligation,
but then a loud "No" came from his father and no more was said about it.
In the course of that very first day Gregor's father explained the family's
financial position and prospects to both his mother and his sister. Now
and then he rose from the table to get some document or notebook out of
the small safe he had rescued from the collapse of his business five years
earlier. One could hear him opening the complicated lock and taking papers
out and shutting it again. These explanations were the first cheerful information
Gregor had heard since his imprisonment. He had been of the opinion that
nothing at all was left over from his father's business, at least his father
had never said anything to the contrary, and of course he had not asked
him directly. At that time Gregor's sole desire was to do his utmost to
help the family to forget as soon as possible the catastrophe that had
overwhelmed the business and thrown them all into a state of complete despair.
And so he had set to work with unusual ardor and almost overnight had become
a traveling salesman instead of a little clerk, with of course much greater
chances of earning money, and his success was immediately transformed into
hard cash which he could lay on the table before his amazed and happy family.
These had been fine times, and they had never recurred, at least not with
the same sense of glory, although later on Gregor had earned so much money
that he was able to meet the expenses of the whole household and did so.
They had simply gotten used to it, both the family and Gregor; the money
was gratefully accepted and gladly given, but there was no special outpouring
of warm feeling. With his sister alone had he remained intimate, and it
was a secret plan of his that she, who, unlike himself, loved music and
could play the violin movingly, should be sent next year to study at the
Conservatory, despite the great expense that would entail and which would
have to be made up in some other way. During his brief visits home the
Conservatory was often mentioned in the talks he had with his sister, but
always merely as a beautiful dream which could never come true, and his
parents discouraged even these innocent references to it; yet Gregor had
made up his mind firmly about it and meant to announce the fact with due
solemnity on Christmas Day.
Such were the thoughts, completely futile in his present condition,
that went through his head as he stood glued upright to the door and listening.
Sometimes out of sheer weariness he could no longer pay attention and accidentally
let his head fall against the door, but he always pulled himself together
again at once, for even the slight sound his head made was audible next
door and brought all conversation to a stop. "What can he be doing now?"
his father would say after a while, obviously turning toward the door,
and only then would the interrupted conversation gradually start up again.
Gregor was now informed as amply as he could wish—for his father tended
to repeat himself in his explanations, partly because it was a long time
since he had dealt with such matters and partly because his mother could
not always grasp things at once—that a certain amount of money, not all
that much really, had survived the wreck of their fortunes and had even
increased a little because the dividends had not been touched meanwhile.
And besides that, the money Gregor brought home every month—he had kept
only a few thalers for himself—had never been quite used up and now amounted
to a substantial sum. Behind the door Gregor nodded his head eagerly, delighted
by this evidence of unexpected thrift and foresight. True, he could really
have paid off some more of his father's debts to the head of his firm with
this extra money, and thus brought much nearer the day on which he could
quit his job, but doubtless it was better the way his father had arranged
it.
Yet this capital was by no means sufficient to let the family live on
the interest from it; for one year, perhaps, or at the most two, they could
live on the principal, that was all. It was simply a sum that ought not
to be touched and should be kept for a rainy day; money for living expenses
would have to be earned. Now his father was still healthy enough but an
old man, and he had done no work for the past five years and could not
be expected to exert himself; during these five years, the first years
of leisure in his laborious though unsuccessful life, he had put on a lot
of weight and become sluggish. And Gregor's old mother, how was she to
earn a living with her asthma, which troubled her even when she walked
through the apartment and kept her lying on a sofa every other day panting
for breath beside an open window? And was his sister to earn her bread,
she who was still a child of seventeen and whose life hitherto had been
so pleasant, consisting as it did in dressing herself nicely, sleeping
long, helping with the housework, going out to a few modest entertainments,
and above all playing the violin? At first whenever the need for earning
money was mentioned Gregor let go of the door and threw himself down on
the cool leather sofa beside it, he felt so hot with shame and grief.
Often he just lay there the long nights through without sleeping at
all, scrabbling for hours on the leather. Or he worked himself up to the
great effort of pushing an armchair to the window, then crawled up over
the windowsill and, braced against the chair, leaned against the windowpanes
obviously in some recollection of the sense of freedom that looking out
of a window always used to give him. For, in reality, day-by-day things
that were only a little distance away were growing dimmer to his sight;
the hospital across the street, which he used to curse for being all too
often before his eyes, was now quite beyond his range of vision, and if
he had not known that he lived on Charlotte Street, a quiet street but
still a city street, he might have believed that his window looked out
on a desert waste where gray sky and gray land blended indistinguishably
into each other. His quick-witted sister only needed to observe twice that
the armchair stood by the window; after that whenever she had tidied the
room she always pushed the chair back to the same place at the window and
even left the inner casements open.
If he could have spoken to her and thanked her for all she had to do
for him, he could have endured her ministrations better; as it was, they
pained him. She certainly tried to make as light as possible of whatever
was disagreeable in her task, and as time went on she succeeded, of course,
more and more, but time also allowed Gregor to see through things better
too. The very way she came in distressed him. Hardly was she in the room
when she rushed straight to the window, without even taking time to shut
the door, careful as she was usually to shield the sight of Gregor's room
from the others, and as if she were about to suffocate tore the windows
open with impatient hands, standing then in the open draft for a while
even in the bitterest cold and drawing deep breaths. This rushing around
and banging of hers upset Gregor twice a day; he would crouch trembling
under the sofa all the while, knowing quite well that she would certainly
have spared him such a disturbance had she found it at all possible to
stay in his presence without opening the window.
On one occasion, about a month after Gregor's metamorphosis, when there
was surely no reason for her to be still startled at his appearance, she
came a little earlier than usual and found him gazing out of the window,
quite motionless, and thus the perfect figure of terror. Gregor would not
have been surprised had she not come in at all, for she could not immediately
open the window while he was there, but not only did she retreat, she jumped
back as if in alarm and slammed the door shut; a stranger might well have
thought that he had been lying in wait for her there, planning to bite
her. Of course he hid himself under the sofa at once, but he had to wait
until midday before she came again, and she seemed more ill at ease than
usual. This made him realize how repulsive the sight of him still was to
her, and that it was bound to go on being repulsive, and what an effort
it must cost her not to run away even from the sight of the small portion
of his body that stuck out from under the sofa. In order to spare her that,
therefore, one day he carried a sheet on his back to the sofa—it cost him
four hours' labor—and arranged it there in such a way as to hide himself
completely, so that even if she were to bend down she could not see him.
Had she considered the sheet unnecessary, she would certainly have stripped
it off the sofa again, for it was clear enough that this total confinement
of himself had not been undertaken just for his own pleasure, but she left
it where it was, and Gregor even imagined that he caught a grateful look
in her eye when he lifted the sheet carefully a very little with his head
to see how she was taking the new arrangement.
For the first two weeks his parents could not bring themselves to enter
his room, and he often heard them expressing their appreciation of his
sister's activities, whereas formerly they had frequently been annoyed
with her for being as they thought a somewhat useless girl. But now both
of them often waited outside the door, his father and his mother, while
his sister tidied his room, and as soon as she came out she had to tell
them exactly how things were in the room, what Gregor had eaten, how he
had conducted himself this time, and whether there was not perhaps some
slight improvement in his condition. His mother, moreover, began relatively
soon to want to visit him, but his father and sister dissuaded her at first
with arguments which Gregor listened to very attentively and altogether
approved. Later, however, she had to be held back by force, and when she
cried out, "Let me in to see Gregor, he is my unfortunate son! Can't you
understand that I must go to him?" Gregor thought that it might be well
to have her come in, not every day, of course, but perhaps once a week;
she understood things, after all, much better than his sister, who was
only a child despite her courage and when all was said and done had perhaps
taken on so difficult a task merely out of childish frivolity.
Gregor's desire to see his mother was soon fulfilled. During the daytime
he did not want to show himself at the window, out of consideration for
his parents, but he could not crawl very far around the few square yards
of floor space he had, nor could he bear lying quietly at rest all during
the night; in addition he was fast losing any interest he had ever taken
in food, so for mere recreation he had formed the habit of crawling crisscross
over the walls and ceiling. He especially enjoyed hanging suspended from
the ceiling; it was altogether different from lying on the floor; one could
breathe more freely; one's body swung and rocked lightly; and in the almost
blissful absorption induced by this suspension it could happen, to his
own surprise, that he let go and fell plop onto the floor. Yet he now had
his body much better under control than formerly and even such a big fall
did him no harm. His sister noticed at once the new distraction Gregor
had found for himself—he left behind traces of the sticky stuff from his
pads wherever he crawled—and she got the idea in her head of giving him
as wide a field as possible to crawl around in and of removing the pieces
of furniture that hindered him, above all the chest of drawers and the
writing desk. But that was more than she could manage all by herself; she
did not dare ask her father to help her; and as for the maid, a girl of
sixteen who had had the courage to stay on after the cook's departure,
she could not be asked to help, for she had begged as a special favor that
she might keep the kitchen door locked and open it only on a definite summons;
so there was nothing left but to turn to her mother one day when her father
was out. And the mother did come, with exclamations of excitement and joy,
which, however, died away at the door of Gregor's room. Gregor's sister,
of course, went in first to see that everything was in order before letting
his mother enter. In great haste Gregor had pulled the sheet lower than
usual and arranged it more in folds so that it really looked as if it had
been thrown casually over the sofa. And this time he did not peer out from
under it; he denied himself the pleasure of seeing his mother on this first
occasion and was only glad that she had come at all. "Come in, he's out
of sight," said his sister, obviously leading her mother in by the hand.
Gregor could now hear the two frail women struggling to shift the heavy
old chest from its place, and his sister insisting on doing the greater
part of the work herself without listening to the admonitions of her mother,
who feared she might overstrain herself. It took a long time. After at
least a quarter of an hour's tugging his mother said that the chest had
better be left right where they had found it, for in the first place it
was too heavy and could never be removed before his father came home, and
with the chest halfway in the middle of the room like this it would only
hamper Gregor’s movements, while in the second place it was not at all
certain that removing the furniture would be doing Gregor a favor. She
was inclined to think the contrary; the sight of the naked wall made her
own heart heavy, and why shouldn't Gregor have the same feeling, considering
that he had been used to his furniture for so long and might feel forlorn
without it. "And doesn't it look," his mother concluded in a low voice—in
fact she had been almost whispering all the time as if to avoid letting
Gregor, whose exact whereabouts she did not know, hear even the sounds
of her voice, for she was convinced that he could not understand her words—"doesn't
it look as if we were showing him, by taking away his furniture, that we
have given up hope of his ever getting better and are just thoughtlessly
leaving him to himself? I think it would be best to keep his room exactly
as it has always been, so that when he comes back to us he will find everything
unchanged and be able to forget all the more easily what has happened in
the meantime."
On hearing these words from his mother Gregor realized that the lack
of all direct human communication for the past two months together with
the monotony of family life must have confused his mind, otherwise he could
not account for the fact that he had seriously looked forward to having
his room emptied of its furnishings. Did he really want his cozy room,
so comfortably fitted with old family furniture, to be turned into a cave
in which he would certainly be able to crawl unhampered in all directions
but at the price of shedding instantly and totally all recollection of
his human past? He had indeed been close to the brink of forgetfulness
and only the voice of his mother, which he had not heard for so long, had
drawn him back from it. Nothing should be taken out of his room; everything
must stay as it was; he could not dispense with the beneficial effects
of the furniture on his state of mind; and even if the furniture did hamper
him in his senseless crawling around and around, that was no drawback but
a great advantage.
Unfortunately his sister was of the contrary opinion; she had grown
accustomed, and not without reason, to consider herself an expert in Gregor's
affairs as against her parents, and so her mother's advice was now enough
to make her determined on the removal not only of the chest and the desk,
which had been her first intention, but of all the furniture except the
indispensable sofa. This determination was not, of course, merely the outcome
of childish recalcitrance and of the self-confidence she had recently developed
so unexpectedly and at such cost; she had in fact perceived that Gregor
needed a lot of space to crawl around in, while on the other hand he never
used the furniture at all, so far as could be seen. Another factor might
also have been the enthusiastic temperament of girls her age, which seeks
to indulge itself at every opportunity and which now tempted Grete to exaggerate
the horror of her brother's circumstances in order that she might do all
the more for him. In a room where Gregor lorded it all alone over empty
walls no one except herself was likely ever to set foot.
And so she was not to be moved from her resolve by her mother, who seemed,
moreover, to be ill at ease in Gregor's room and therefore unsure of herself,
was soon reduced to silence and helped her daughter as best she could to
push the chest outside. Now, Gregor could do without the chest if need
be, but the desk had to stay. As soon as the two women had gotten the chest
out of his room, groaning as they pushed it, Gregor stuck his head out
from under the sofa to see how he might intervene as considerately and
cautiously as possible. But as bad luck would have it, his mother was the
first to return, leaving Grete grappling with the chest in the room next
door where she was trying to shift it all by herself, without of course
moving it from the spot. His mother however was not accustomed to the sight
of him, it might sicken her, and so in alarm Gregor backed quickly to the
other end of the sofa, yet could not prevent the sheet from swaying a little
in front. That was enough to put her on the alert. She paused, stood still
for a moment, and then went back to Grete.
Although Gregor kept reassuring himself that nothing out of the ordinary
was happening, that only a few bits of furniture were being rearranged,
he soon had to admit that all this trotting to and fro of the two women,
their little shouts to each other, and the scraping of furniture along
the floor had the effect on him of some vast disturbance coming from all
sides at once, and however much he tucked in his head and legs and pressed
his body to the floor, he had to confess that he would not be able to stand
it much longer. They were clearing his room out, taking away everything
he loved; the chest in which he kept his jigsaw and other tools was already
dragged off; they were now loosening the desk which had almost sunk into
the floor, the desk at which he had done all his homework when he was at
the commercial academy, at the secondary school before that, and, yes,
even at the primary school—he had no more time to waste in weighing the
good intentions of the two women, whose existence he had by now almost
forgotten, for they were so exhausted that they were laboring in silence
and nothing could be heard but the heavy scuffling of their feet.
And so he broke out—the women were just leaning against the desk in
the next room to give themselves a breather—and four times changed his
direction, since he really did not know what to rescue first, then on the
wall opposite, which was already all but empty, he was struck by the picture
of the lady muffled in so much fur and quickly crawled up to it and pressed
himself to the glass, which was a good surface to adhere to and soothed
his hot belly. This picture at least, now entirely hidden beneath him,
was going to be removed by nobody. He turned his head toward the door of
the living room so as to observe the women when they came back.
They had not allowed themselves much of a rest and were already returning;
Grete had twined her arm around her mother and was almost supporting her.
"Well, what shall we take now?" said Grete, looking around. Her eyes met
Gregor's from the wall. She kept her composure, presumably because of her
mother, bent her head down to her mother, to keep her from looking up,
and said, although in a trembling and unconvincing tone of voice: "Come,
hadn't we better go back to the living room for a moment?" Her intentions
were clear enough to Gregor, she wanted to get her mother to safety and
then drive him down from the wall. Well, just let her try it! He clung
to his picture and would not give it up. He would rather fly in Grete's
face.
But Grete's words had succeeded in upsetting her mother, who took a
step to one side, caught sight of the huge brown mass on the flowered wallpaper,
and before she was really aware that what she saw was Gregor, screamed
in a loud, hoarse voice, "Oh God, oh God!" fell with outspread arms over
the sofa as if giving up, and did not move. "Gregor!" cried his sister,
shaking her fist and glaring at him. This was the first time she had directly
addressed him since his metamorphosis. She ran into the next room for some
smelling salts with which to rouse her mother from her fainting fit. Gregor
wanted to help too—there was time to rescue the picture later—but he was
stuck fast to the glass and had to tear himself loose; he then ran after
his sister into the next room as if he could still advise her the way he
used to; but all he could do was stand helplessly behind her; she meanwhile
searched among various small bottles and when she turned around started
in alarm at the sight of him; one bottle fell on the floor and broke; a
splinter of glass cut Gregor's face and some kind of corrosive medicine
splashed him; without pausing a moment longer Grete gathered up all the
bottles she could carry and ran to her mother with them; she banged the
door shut with her foot. Gregor was now cut off from his mother, who was
perhaps about to die because of him; he dared not open the door for fear
of frightening away his sister, who had to stay with her mother; there
was nothing he could do but wait; and tormented by self-reproach and worry
he began now to crawl to and fro, over everything, walls, furniture, and
ceiling, and finally in his despair, when the whole room seemed to be reeling
around him, fell down onto the middle of the big table.
A little while elapsed, Gregor was still lying there feebly and all
around him was quiet; perhaps that was a good omen. Then the doorbell rang.
The maid was of course locked in her kitchen, and Grete had to go and open
the door. It was his father. "What's happened?" were his first words; the
look on Grete's face must have told him everything. Grete answered in a
muffled voice, apparently hiding her head on his chest: "Mother fainted,
but she's better now. Gregor's broken loose." "Just what I expected," said
his father, "just what I've been telling you would happen, but you women
would never listen." It was clear to Gregor that his father had taken the
worst interpretation of Grete's all too brief statement and was assuming
that Gregor had been guilty of some violent act. Therefore Gregor must
now try to calm his father down, since he had neither time nor means for
an explanation. And so he ran to the door of his own room and crouched
against it, to let his father see as soon as he came in from the hall that
his son had the good intention of getting back into his room immediately
and that it was not necessary to drive him there, but that if only the
door were opened for him he would disappear at once.
Yet his father was not in the mood to perceive such fine distinctions. "Aha!" he cried as soon as he appeared, in a tone that sounded at once angry and exultant. Gregor drew his head back from the door and lifted it to look at his father. Truly, this was not the father he had imagined to himself; admittedly he had been too absorbed of late in his new recreation of crawling over the ceiling to take the same interest as before in what was happening elsewhere in the apartment, and he really should have been prepared for some changes. And yet, and yet, could that be his father? The man who used to lie wearily sunk in bed whenever Gregor set out on a business trip; who on the evenings of his return welcomed him back lying in an easy chair in his bathrobe; who could not really rise to his feet but only lifted his arms in greeting, and who on the rare occasions when he did go out with his family, on one or two Sundays a year and on the most important holidays, walked between Gregor and his mother, who were slow walkers themselves, even more slowly than they did, muffled in his old overcoat, shuffling laboriously forward with the help of his crook-handled cane, which he set down most cautiously at every step and, whenever he wanted to say anything, nearly always came to a full stop and gathered his escort around him? Now he was standing there straight as a stick, dressed in a smart blue uniform with gold buttons, such as bank attendants wear; his strong double chin bulged over the stiff high collar of his jacket; from under his bushy eyebrows his black eyes darted fresh and penetrating glances; his formerly tangled white hair had been combed flat on either side of a shining and carefully exact parting. He pitched his cap, which bore a gold monogram, probably the badge of some bank, in a wide arc across the whole room onto a sofa and with the tail ends of his jacket thrown back, his hands in his trouser pockets, advanced with a grim visage toward Gregor. Likely enough he did not himself know what he meant to do; at any rate, he lifted his feet unusually high off the floor, and Gregor was dumbfounded at the enormous size of his shoe soles. But Gregor could not risk standing up to him, aware, as he had been from the very first day of his new life, that his father believed only the severest measures suitable for dealing with him. And so he ran before his father, stopping when he stopped and scuttling forward again when his father made any kind of move. In this way they circled the room several times without anything decisive happening, indeed the whole operation did not even look like a pursuit because it was carried out so slowly. And so Gregor confined himself to the floor, for he feared that his father might interpret any recourse to the walls or the ceiling as especially wicked behavior. All the same, he could not keep this race up much longer, for while his father took a single step he had to carry out a whole series of movements. He was already beginning to feel breathless, just as in his former life his lungs had not been very dependable. As he was staggering along, trying to concentrate his energy on running, hardly keeping his eyes open, in his dazed state never even thinking of any other escape than simply going forward, and having almost forgotten that the walls were free to him, which in this room, to be sure, were obstructed by finely carved pieces of furniture full of sharp points and jagged edges—suddenly something lightly flung landed close beside him and rolled in front of him. It was an apple; a second apple followed immediately; Gregor came to a stop in alarm; there was no point in running away now, for his father was determined to bombard him. He had filled his pockets with fruit from the dish on the sideboard and was now throwing apple after apple, without taking particularly good aim for the moment. The small red apples rolled about the floor as if magnetized and bumped into each other. An apple thrown without much force grazed Gregor's back and glanced off harmlessly. But another, following immediately, landed right on his back and got stuck in it; Gregor wanted to drag himself forward, as if this startling, incredible pain would disappear if he moved to a different spot; but he felt as if he were nailed to the floor, and stretched himself out in the complete derangement of all his senses. With his last conscious look he saw the door of his room being torn open and his mother rushing out ahead of his screaming sister, in her underbodice, for her daughter had loosened her clothing to let her breathe more freely and recover from her swoon; he saw his mother rushing toward his father, leaving her loosened petticoats, one after another, behind her on the floor, stumbling over them straight to his father and embracing him, in complete union with him—but by now Gregor’s sight was already failing—with her hands clasped around his father's neck as she begged for Gregor's life.
The serious injury done to Gregor, which disabled him for more than
a month—the apple remained stuck in his body as a visible reminder, since
no one dared to remove it—seemed to have made even his father recollect
that Gregor was a member of the family, despite his present unfortunate
and repulsive shape, and ought not to be treated as an enemy, that, on
the contrary family duty required them to swallow their disgust and to
practice patience, nothing but patience.
And although his injury had impaired, probably forever, his powers of
movement, and for the time being it took him long, long minutes to creep
across his room like an old invalid—there was no question now of crawling
up the wall—yet in his own opinion he was sufficiently compensated for
this worsening of his condition by the fact that toward evening the living
room door, which he used to watch intently for an hour or two beforehand,
was now always opened, so that lying in the darkness of his room, invisible
to the family, he was permitted to see them all at the lamp-lit table and
listen to their talk by general consent, as it were, very different from
his earlier eavesdropping.
True, their conversation lacked the lively character of former times,
which he had always called to mind with a certain wistfulness in the small
hotel bedrooms where he so often used to throw himself down, tired out,
on the damp bedding. They were now mostly very silent. Soon after supper
his father would fall asleep in his armchair; his mother and sister would
admonish each other to be silent; his mother, bending low under the lamp,
would sew delicate undergarments for a fashionable shop; his sister, who
had taken a job as a salesgirl, was learning shorthand and French in the
evenings in the hopes of getting a better position some day. Sometimes
his father woke up, and as if quite unaware that he had been sleeping said
to his mother: "What a lot of sewing you're doing today!" and at once fell
asleep again, while the two women exchanged a tired smile.
With a kind of mulishness his father persisted in keeping his uniform
on even in the house; his robe hung uselessly on its peg and he slept fully
dressed where he sat, as if he were ready for service at any moment and
even here only awaiting the call of his superior. As a result, his uniform,
which was not brand-new to start with, began to look dirty, despite all
the loving care of the mother and sister to keep it clean, and Gregor often
spent whole evenings gazing at the many greasy spots on the garment, gleaming
with gold buttons always in a high state of polish, in which the old man
sat sleeping in extreme discomfort and yet quite peacefully.
As soon as the clock struck ten his mother tried to rouse his father
with gentle words and to persuade him after that to get into bed, for sitting
there he could not have a proper sleep and that was what he needed most,
since he had to go on duty at six. But with the mulishness he displayed
since becoming a bank attendant he always insisted on staying longer at
the table, although he regularly fell asleep again and finally only with
the greatest trouble could be persuaded to relinquish his armchair and
go to bed. However insistently Gregor's mother and sister kept urging him
with gentle reminders, he would go on slowly shaking his head for a quarter
of an hour, keeping his eyes shut, and refuse to get to his feet. The mother
plucked at his sleeve, whispering endearments in his ear, the sister left
her lessons to come to her mother's help, but it all made little impression
on Gregor's father. He would only sink down deeper in his chair. Not until
the two women hoisted him up by the armpits did he open his eyes and look
at them both, one after the other, usually with the remark, "What a life.
So this is the peace and quiet of my old age." And leaning on the two of
them he would heave himself up, with difficulty, as if he were his own
greatest burden, permit them to lead him as far as the door, and then wave
them away and go on alone, while the mother threw down her needlework and
the sister her pen in order to run after him and be of further assistance.
Who could find time in this overworked and tired-out family to bother
about Gregor more than was absolutely necessary? The household was reduced
more and more; the maid was now let go; a gigantic bony cleaning woman
with white hair flying around her head came in mornings and evenings to
do the rough work; Gregor's mother did all the rest, as well as all her
sewing. Even various pieces of family jewelry, which his mother and sister
had loved to wear at parties and celebrations, had to be sold, as Gregor
discovered one evening from hearing them discuss the prices obtained. But
what they lamented most was the fact that they could not leave the apartment,
which was much too big for their present circumstances, because they could
not think of any way to transfer Gregor. Yet Gregor saw well enough that
consideration for him was not the main difficulty preventing the move,
for they could easily have carried him in some suitable box with a few
air holes in it; what really kept them from moving into another apartment
was rather their own complete hopelessness and the belief that they had
been singled out for a misfortune such as had never happened to any of
their relations or acquaintances. They fulfilled to the utmost all that
the world demands of poor people: the father fetched breakfast for the
minor clerks in the bank, the mother devoted her energy to making underwear
for strangers, the sister trotted back and forth behind the counter at
the demand of her customers, but more than this they had not the strength
to do. And the wound in Gregor's back began to hurt him afresh when his
mother and sister, after getting his father into bed, came back again,
left their work lying, drew close to each other, and sat cheek by cheek—when
his mother, pointing toward his room, said, "Shut that door now, Grete,"
and he was left again in darkness, while next door the women mingled their
tears or perhaps sat dry-eyed, staring at the table.
Gregor hardly slept at all now, night or day. He was often haunted by
the idea that the next time the door opened he would take the family's
affairs in hand again just as he used to do; once again after this long
interval, there appeared in his thoughts the figures of the boss and the
chief clerk, the salesmen and the apprentices, the messenger boy who was
so dull-witted, two or three friends in other firms, a chambermaid in one
of the rural hotels, a sweet and fleeting memory, a cashier in a milliner's
shop, whom he had courted earnestly but too slowly—they all appeared, together
with strangers or people he had quite forgotten, but instead of helping
him and his family they were all inaccessible and he was glad when they
vanished. At other times he would not be in the mood to bother about his
family, he was only filled with rage at the way they were neglecting him,
and although he could not imagine what he might like to eat he would make
plans for getting into the pantry to take the food that, after all, was
due him, hungry or not. His sister no longer gave a second thought now
to what might especially please him, but in the morning and at noon before
she went to work hurriedly pushed into his room with her foot any food
that was available, and in the evening cleared it out again with one sweep
of the broom, heedless of whether it had been nibbled at, or—as most frequently
happened—left completely untouched. The cleaning of his room, which
she now always did in the evenings, could not have been done more hastily.
Streaks of dirt were smeared along the walls, here and there lay balls
of dust and filth. At first Gregor used to station himself in some particularly
filthy corner when his sister arrived in order to reproach her with it,
so to speak. But he could have sat there for weeks without getting her
to make any improvement; she could see the dirt as well as he did, but
she had simply made up her mind to leave it alone. And yet, with a touchiness
that was new to her, and which seemed, moreover, to have infected the whole
family, she jealously guarded her claim to be the sole caretaker of Gregor's
room. His mother once subjected his room to a thorough cleaning, which
was achieved only by means of several buckets of water—all this dampness
of course upset Gregor too and he lay stretched out, sulky and motionless
on the sofa—but she was well punished for it. Hardly had his sister noticed
the changed aspect of his room that evening than she rushed mortally offended
into the living room and, despite the imploringly raised hands of her mother,
burst into a storm of weeping, while her parents—her father had of course
been startled out of his chair—looked on at first in helpless amazement;
then they too began to go into action; the father reproached the mother
on his right for not having left the cleaning of Gregor's room to his sister;
shrieked at the sister on his left that never again would she be allowed
to clean Gregor's room; while the mother tried to drag the father into
his bedroom since he was beside himself with agitation; the sister, shaken
with sobs, then beat upon the table with her small fists; and Gregor hissed
loudly with rage because not one of them thought of shutting the door to
spare him such a spectacle and so much noise.
Still, even if the sister, exhausted by her daily work, had grown tired
of looking after Gregor as she formerly did, there was no need at all for
his mother's intervention or for Gregor's being neglected. The cleaning
woman was there. This old widow, whose strong and bony frame had enabled
her to survive the worst a long life could offer, had no particular aversion
to Gregor. Without being in the least inquisitive she had once by chance
opened the door to his room and at the sight of Gregor, who, taken by surprise,
began to rush to and fro although no one was chasing him, merely stood
there in amazement with her arms folded. From that time on she never failed
to open his door a little for a moment, morning and evening, to have a
look at him. At first she even used to call him to her, with words which
apparently she meant to be friendly, such as: "Come on over here, you old
dung beetle!" or "Will you look at that old dung beetle!" To such forms
of address Gregor made no answer, but stayed motionless where he was, as
if the door had never been opened. Instead of being allowed to disturb
him so senselessly whenever the whim took her, that servant should have
been ordered instead to clean out his room daily. Once, early in the morning—heavy
rain was lashing at the windowpanes, perhaps a sign that spring was on
its way—Gregor was so exasperated when she began addressing him again that
he turned and went toward her as if to attack her, although slowly and
feebly enough. But the cleaning woman, instead of being afraid, merely
picked up a chair that happened to be beside the door, held it high, and
as she stood there with her mouth wide open it was clear that she meant
to shut it only after she brought the chair down on Gregor's back. "Not
coming any closer, then?" she asked, as Gregor turned away again, and quietly
put the chair back into the corner.
Gregor was now eating hardly anything. Only when he happened to pass
the food laid out for him did he take a bit of something in his mouth as
a kind of game, kept it there for hours at a time, and usually spat it
out again. At first he thought it was chagrin over the state of his room
that prevented him from eating, yet in fact he very quickly got used to
the various changes in his room. It had become a habit in the family to
put things into his room for which there was no space elsewhere, and there
were plenty of these things now, since one of the rooms had been rented
to three boarders. These serious gentlemen—all three of them with full
beards, as Gregor once observed through a crack in the door—had a passion
for order, not only in their own room but, since they were now members
of the household, in all its arrangements, especially in the kitchen. They
could not endure useless, let alone dirty, clutter. Besides, they had brought
with them most of the furnishings they needed. For this reason many things
could be dispensed with that it was no use trying to sell but that should
not be thrown away either. All of them found their way into Gregor's room.
The ash can likewise and the kitchen garbage can. Anything that was not
needed for the moment was simply flung into Gregor's room by the cleaning
woman, who did everything in a hurry; fortunately Gregor usually saw only
the object, whatever it was, and the hand that held it. Perhaps she intended
to take the things away again as time and opportunity offered, or to collect
them until she could throw them all out in a heap, but in fact they just
lay wherever she happened to throw them, except when Gregor pushed his
way through the junk heap and arranged it somewhat, at first out of necessity
because he had no room to crawl around in, but later with increasing enjoyment,
although after such excursions, being sad and weary to death, he would
lie motionless for hours.
Since the boarders often ate their supper at home in the common living
room, the living room door stayed shut many an evening, yet Gregor reconciled
himself quite easily to the shutting of the door, for often enough on evenings
when it was opened he had disregarded it entirely and lain in the darkest
corner of his room, quite unnoticed by the family. On one occasion the
cleaning woman had left the door open a little and it stayed ajar even
when the lodgers came in for supper and the lamp was lit. They sat down
at the upper end of the table where formerly Gregor and his father and
mother had eaten their meals, unfolded their napkins and took knife and
fork in hand. At once his mother appeared in the doorway with a platter
of meat and close behind her his sister with a bowl of potatoes piled high.
The food steamed with a thick vapor. The boarders bent over the food set
before them as if to scrutinize it before eating; in fact, the man in the
middle, who seemed to pass for an authority with the other two, cut a piece
of meat as it lay on the platter, obviously to determine if it was tender
enough or should be sent back to the kitchen. He was satisfied, and Gregor’s
mother and sister, who had been watching anxiously, breathed a sigh of
relief and began to smile.
The family itself took its meals in the kitchen. Nonetheless, Gregor's
father came into the living room before going to the kitchen and with one
prolonged bow, cap in hand, made a round of the table. The boarders all
stood up and muttered something in their beards. When they were alone again
they ate their food in almost complete silence. It seemed remarkable to
Gregor that among the various noises coming from the table he could always
distinguish the sound of their chewing teeth, as if this were a sign to
Gregor that one needed teeth in order to eat, and that even with the finest
of toothless jaws one could do nothing. "I'm certainly hungry," said Gregor
sadly to himself, "but not for that kind of food. How these boarders are
stuffing themselves, and here am I dying of starvation!"
On that very evening—during all this time Gregor could not remember
ever having heard the violin—the sound of violin playing came from the
kitchen. The boarders had already finished their supper, the one in the
middle had brought out a newspaper and given the other two a page apiece,
and now they were leaning back at ease reading and smoking. When the violin
began to play they pricked up their ears, got to their feet, and went on
tiptoe to the hall door where they stood huddled together. Their movements
must have been heard in the kitchen, for Gregor’s father called out: "Is
the violin playing disturbing you, gentlemen? It can be stopped at once."
"On the contrary," said the middle boarder, "wouldn't the young lady like
to join us here and play where it is much more pleasant and comfortable?"
"Oh certainly," cried Gregor's father, as if he were the violin player.
The boarders returned to the living room and waited. Soon Gregor's father
arrived with the music stand, his mother carrying the music and his sister
with the violin. His sister calmly made everything ready to start playing;
his parents, who had never let rooms before and so had an exaggerated idea
of the courtesy due to boarders, did not venture to sit down on their own
chairs; his father leaned against the door, his right hand thrust between
two buttons of his uniform jacket, which was formally buttoned up; but
his mother was offered a chair by one of the boarders and, since she left
the chair just where he had happened to put it, sat down in a corner off
to one side.
Gregor's sister began to play; the father and mother, from either side,
intently watched the movements of her hands. Gregor, attracted by the playing,
ventured to move forward a little until his head was actually inside the
living room. He felt hardly any surprise at his growing lack of consideration
for the others; there had been a time when he prided himself on being considerate.
Yet on this occasion he had more reason than ever to hide himself, since
owing to the amount of dust that lay thick in his room and rose into the
air at the slightest movement, he too was covered with dust; fluff and
hair and remnants of food trailed with him, caught on his back and along
his sides; his indifference to everything was much too great for him to
turn on his back and scrape himself clean on the carpet, as once he had
done several times a day. And in spite of his condition, no shame deterred
him from advancing a little over the spotless floor of the living room.
To be sure, no one paid any attention to him. The family was entirely
absorbed in the violin playing; the boarders however, who at first had
stationed themselves, hands in pockets, much too close behind the music
stand so that they could all have read the music, something which must
have bothered his sister, had soon retreated to the window, half whispering
with bowed heads, and stayed there while his father turned an anxious eye
on them. Indeed, they were making it more than obvious that they had been
disappointed in their expectation of hearing good or even entertaining
violin playing, that they had had more than enough of the performance,
and that they were putting up with this disturbance of their peace only
out of courtesy. From the way they all kept blowing the smoke of their
cigars high in the air through nose and mouth one could divine their irritation.
And yet Gregor’s sister was playing so beautifully. Her face tilted to
one side, intently and sadly her eyes followed the notes of music. Gregor
crawled a little farther forward and lowered his head to the ground so
that it might be possible for his eyes to meet hers. Was he an animal,
since music so moved him? He felt as if the way were opening before him
to the unknown nourishment he craved. He was determined to push forward
until he reached his sister, to pull at her skirt and so let her know that
she should come into his room with her violin, for no one here appreciated
her playing as he would appreciate it. He would never let her out of his
room, at least not so long as he lived; his frightful appearance would
become, for the first time, useful to him; he would watch over all the
doors of his room at once and hiss like a dragon at any intruders; but
his sister would not be forced to stay, she would stay with him of her
own free will; she would sit beside him on the sofa, bend down her ear
to him, and hear him confide that he had had the firm intention of sending
her to the Conservatory and that, but for his mishap last Christmas—surely
Christmas was long past?—he would have announced it to everybody without
allowing a single objection. After this declaration his sister would be
so touched that she would burst into tears, and Gregor would then raise
himself to her shoulder and kiss her on the neck, which, now that she was
a young working woman, she kept free of any ribbon or collar.
"Mr. Samsa!" cried the middle boarder to Gregor's father, and pointed,
without wasting any more words, at Gregor, now working himself slowly forward.
The violin fell silent, the middle boarder first smiled to his friends
with a shake of the head and then looked at Gregor again. Instead of driving
Gregor out, his father seemed to think it more important to begin by soothing
down the boarders, although they were not at all agitated and apparently
found Gregor more entertaining than the violin playing. He hurried toward
them and, spreading out his arms, tried to urge them back into their own
room and at the same time to block their view of Gregor. They now began
to be really a little angry, one could not tell whether because of the
old man's behavior or because it had just dawned on them that without knowing
it they had such a neighbor as Gregor in the next room. They demanded explanations
of his father, they waved their arms like him, tugged uneasily at their
beards, and only with reluctance backed toward their room. Meanwhile Gregor's
sister, who stood there as if lost when her playing was so abruptly broken
off, came to life again, pulled herself together all at once after standing
for a while holding violin and bow in her slack and drooping hands and
staring at her music, pushed her violin into the lap of her mother, who
was still sitting in her chair fighting asthmatically for breath, and ran
into the boarders' room, to which they were now being shepherded by her
father rather more quickly than before. One could see the pillows and blankets
on the beds flying about under her practiced fingers and being laid in
order. Even before the boarders had actually reached their room she had
finished making the beds and slipped out.
The father seemed once more to be so possessed by his mulish self-assertiveness
that he was forgetting all the respect he owed his boarders. He kept driving
them on and driving them on until, at the very door of the bedroom, the
middle boarder stamped his foot loudly on the floor and so brought him
to a halt. "I herewith declare," said the boarder, lifting one hand and
looking also at Gregor's mother and sister, "that because of the disgusting
conditions prevailing in this household and family"—here he spat on the
floor with emphatic brevity—"I give you notice on the spot. Naturally I
won't pay you a penny for the days I have lived here, on the contrary I
shall consider suing you for damages, based on claims—believe me—that will
be easily substantiated." He ceased and stared straight ahead, as if he
were expecting something. In fact, his two friends at once rushed into
the breach with these words: "And we too give notice on the spot." At that
he seized the door handle and shut the door with a slam.
Gregor's father, groping with his hands, staggered forward and fell
into his chair; it looked as if he were stretching himself out there for
his usual evening nap, but the powerful and uncontrolled jerking of his
head showed that he was far from asleep. Gregor had simply stayed quietly
all the time on the spot where the boarders had caught sight of him. Disappointment
at the failure of his plan, perhaps also the weakness arising from extreme
hunger, made it impossible for him to move. He feared, with a fair degree
of certainty, that at any moment the general tension would discharge itself
in a combined attack upon him, and he lay there waiting. He did not react
even to the noise made by the violin as it fell off his mother's lap from
under her trembling fingers and gave out a resonant sound.
"My dear parents," said his sister, slapping her hand on the table by
way of introduction "things can't go on like this. Perhaps you don't realize
that, but I do. I won't utter my brother's name in the presence of this
creature, and so all I say is: we must try to get rid of it. We've tried
to look after it and to put up with it as far as is humanly possible, and
I don't think anyone could reproach us in the slightest."
"She is absolutely right," said Gregor's father to himself. His mother,
who was still choking for lack of breath, began to cough hollowly into
her hand with a wild look in her eyes.
His sister rushed over to her and held her forehead. His father's thoughts
seemed to have lost their vagueness at Grete's words, he sat more upright,
fingering his service cap, which lay among the plates still on the table
from the boarders' supper, and from time to time looked at the motionless
form of Gregor.
"We must try to get rid of it," his sister now said explicitly to her
father, since her mother was coughing too much to hear a word, "it will
be the death of both of you, I can see that coming. When one has to work
as hard as we do, all of us, one can't stand this continual torment at
home on top of it. At least I can't stand it any longer." And she burst
into such a fit of sobbing that her tears dropped onto her mother's face,
from which she wiped them with mechanical flicks of her hand.
"My child," said the old man sympathetically and with evident understanding,
"but what should we do?"
Gregor's sister merely shrugged her shoulders to indicate the feeling
of helplessness that, in contrast to her former confidence, had overtaken
her during her weeping fit.
"If only he could understand us," said her father, half questioningly;
Grete, still sobbing, vehemently waved a hand to show how unthinkable that
was.
"If he could understand us," repeated the old man, shutting his eyes
to consider his daughter's conviction that understanding was impossible,
"then perhaps we might come to some agreement with him. But as it is .
. ."
"He must go," cried Gregor's sister, "that's the only solution, Father.
You must just try to get rid of the idea that this is Gregor. The fact
that we've believed it for so long is the root of all our misfortune. But
how can it be Gregor? If this were Gregor, he would have realized long
ago that human beings can't live with such a creature, and he'd have gone
away of his own accord. We wouldn't have any brother then, but we'd be
able to go on living and keep his memory in honor. As it is, this creature
persecutes us, drives away our boarders, obviously wants the whole apartment
to himself, and would have us all sleep in the gutter. Look, Father," she
suddenly shrieked, "he's at it again!" And in a state of panic that was
quite incomprehensible to Gregor she even left her mother's side, literally
thrusting the chair from her as if she would rather sacrifice her mother
than be anywhere near Gregor, and rushed behind her father, who also stood
up, upset by her behavior, and half spread his arms out as if to protect
her.
Yet Gregor hadn't the slightest intention of frightening anyone, least
of all his sister. He had only begun to turn around in order to crawl back
to his room, but it was certainly a startling operation to see, since because
of his disabled condition he could not execute the difficult turning movements
except by lifting his head and then bracing it against the floor over and
over again. He paused and looked around. His good intentions seemed to
have been recognized; the alarm had only been momentary. Now they were
all watching him in melancholy silence. His mother lay in her chair, her
legs stiffly outstretched and pressed together, her eyes almost closing
from sheer exhaustion; his father and his sister were sitting beside each
other, his sister's arm around the father's neck.
Now perhaps they'll let me go on turning around, thought Gregor, and
began his labors again. He could not stop himself from panting with the
effort, and had to pause now and then to take a breath. Nor was anyone
rushing him, he was left entirely to himself. When he had completed the
turn, he began at once to crawl straight back. He was amazed at the distance
separating him from his room and could not understand how in his weak state
he had managed to accomplish the same journey so recently, almost without
noticing it. Intent on crawling as fast as possible he hardly realized
that not a single word, not one exclamation from his family, interfered
with his progress. Only when he was already in the doorway did he turn
his head around, not completely, for his neck muscles were getting stiff,
but enough to see that nothing had changed behind him except that his sister
had risen to her feet. His last glance fell on his mother, who was now
sound asleep.
Hardly was he inside his room when the door was hastily pushed shut,
bolted, and locked. The sudden noise behind him startled him so much that
his little legs collapsed beneath him. It was his sister who had shown
such haste. She had been standing ready, waiting, and had made a light
spring forward, Gregor had not even heard her coming, and she cried "At
last!" to her parents as she turned the key in the lock.
"And now?" Gregor asked himself, looking around in the darkness. Soon
he made the discovery that he was now completely unable to move. This did
not surprise him, rather it seemed unnatural that he should ever actually
have been able to move at all on these feeble little legs. Otherwise he
felt relatively comfortable. True, his whole body was aching, but it seemed
that the pain was gradually growing less and would finally pass away. The
rotting apple in his back and the inflamed area around it, all covered
with soft dust, already hardly troubled him. He thought of his family with
tenderness and love. The conviction that he must disappear was one that
he held even more strongly than his sister, if that were possible. In this
state of empty and peaceful meditation he remained until the tower clock
struck three in the morning. The first broadening of light in the world
outside the window just entered his consciousness. Then his head sank to
the floor of its own accord and from his nostrils came the last faint flicker
of his breath.
When the cleaning woman arrived early in the morning out of sheer strength
and impatience she slammed all the doors so loudly, regardless of how often
she had been begged not to do so, that no one in the whole apartment could
enjoy any quiet sleep after her arrival—she noticed nothing unusual as
she took her customary peek into Gregor’s room. She thought he was lying
motionless on purpose, pretending to be in a sulk; she credited him with
every kind of intelligence. Since she happened to have the long-handled
broom in her hand she tried to tickle him with it from the doorway. When
that too produced no reaction she felt provoked and poked at him a little
harder, and only when she had pushed him along the floor without meeting
any resistance was her attention aroused. Soon the truth of the matter
dawned on her, her eyes widened, she let out a whistle, yet did not waste
much time over it but tore open the door of the Samsas’ bedroom and yelled
into the darkness at the top of her voice: "Come look at this, it's dead;
it's lying there, dead as a doornail!"
Mr. and Mrs. Samsa sat bolt upright in their double bed and had some
difficulty getting over the shock before they realized the nature of the
cleaning woman's announcement. But then they got out of bed quickly, one
on either side, Mr. Samsa throwing a blanket over his shoulders, Mrs. Samsa
in nothing but her nightgown; in this array they entered Gregor's room.
Meanwhile the door of the living room opened, too, where Grete had been
sleeping since the arrival of the boarders; she was completely dressed,
as if she had not been to bed, which seemed to be confirmed also by the
paleness of her face. "Dead?" said Mrs. Samsa, looking questioningly at
the cleaning woman, although she could have investigated for herself, indeed
the fact was obvious enough without investigation. "I should say so," said
the cleaning woman, and to prove it she pushed Gregor's corpse a long way
to one side with her broomstick; Mrs. Samsa made a movement as if to stop
her, but checked herself. "Well," said Mr. Samsa, "now thanks be to God."
He crossed himself, and the three women followed his example. Grete, whose
eyes never left the corpse, said: "Just see how thin he was. It’s such
a long time since he ate anything at all. The food came out again just
as it went in." Indeed, Gregor's body was completely flat and dry, as could
only now be seen when it was no longer supported by the legs and nothing
prevented one from looking closely at it.
"Come into our room, Grete, for a little while," said Mrs. Samsa with
a tremulous smile, and Grete, not without looking back at the corpse, followed
her parents into their bedroom. The cleaning woman shut the door and opened
the window wide. Although it was still early in the morning a certain softness
was perceptible in the fresh air. After all, it was already the end of
March.
The three boarders emerged from their room and were surprised to see
no breakfast; they had been forgotten. "Where's our breakfast?" said the
middle boarder peevishly to the cleaning woman. But she put her finger
to her lips and hastily, without a word, indicated by gestures that they
should follow her into Gregor's room. They did so and stood, their hands
in the pockets of their somewhat shabby coats around Gregor's corpse in
the room where it was now fully light.
At that the door of the Samsas' bedroom opened and Mr. Samsa appeared
in his uniform, his wife on one arm, his daughter on the other. They all
looked a little as if they had been crying; from time to time Grete pressed
her face against her father's arm.
"Leave my home at once!" said Mr. Samsa, and pointed to the door without
disengaging himself from the women. "What do you mean by that?" said the
middle boarder, taken somewhat aback, with a feeble smile. The two others
put their hands behind their backs and kept rubbing them together, as if
in gleeful expectation of a big fight in which they were bound to come
out the winners. "I mean just what I say," answered Mr. Samsa, and advanced
in a straight line with his two companions toward the boarder. He stood
his ground quietly at first, looking at the floor as if his thoughts were
forming a new pattern in his head. "Well, let's go then," he said, and
looked up at Mr. Samsa as if in a sudden access of humility he were asking
his approval even for this decision. Mr. Samsa merely nodded at him briefly
once or twice with wide-open eyes. Thereupon the boarder actually did go
with long strides into the front hall; his two friends had been listening
and by now had stopped rubbing their hands together and went scuttling
after him as if afraid that Mr. Samsa might get into the hall before them
and cut them off from their leader. In the hall all three took their hats
from the rack, their sticks from the umbrella stand, bowed in silence,
and left the apartment. With a suspiciousness that proved quite unfounded
Mr. Samsa and the two women followed them out to the landing; leaning over
the banister they watched the three figures slowly but surely going down
the long stairs, vanishing from sight at a certain turn of the staircase
on every floor and coming into view again after a moment or so; the more
they dwindled, the more the Samsa family's interest in them dwindled, and
when a butcher's boy met them and passed them on the stairs coming up proudly
with a tray on his head, Mr. Samsa and the two women soon left the landing
and as if a burden had been lifted from them went back into their apartment.
They decided to spend this day in resting and going for a stroll; they
had not only deserved such a respite from work, but absolutely needed it.
And so they sat down at the table and wrote three notes of excuse, Mr.
Samsa to his board of management, Mrs. Samsa to her employer, and Grete
to the head of her firm. While they were writing, the cleaning woman came
in to say that she was going now, since her morning's work was finished.
At first they only nodded without looking up, but as she kept hovering
there they eyed her irritably. "Well?" said Mr. Samsa. The cleaning woman
stood grinning in the doorway as if she had good news to impart to the
family but meant not to say a word unless properly questioned. The little
ostrich feather standing upright on her hat, which had annoyed Mr. Samsa
ever since she had been hired, was waving gaily in all directions. "Well,
what is it then?" asked Mrs. Samsa, who obtained more respect from the
cleaning woman than the others. "Oh," said the cleaning woman, so overcome
by amiable laughter that she could not continue right away, "just this:
you don't need to worry about how to get rid of that thing in the next
room. It's been taken care of already." Mrs. Samsa and Grete bent over
their letters again, as if continuing to write; Mr. Samsa, who perceived
that she was eager to begin describing it all in detail, stopped her with
a decisive gesture of his outstretched hand. But since she was not allowed
to tell her story, she remembered the great hurry she was in, obviously
deeply insulted: "Bye, everybody," she said, whirling off violently, and
departed with a frightful slamming of doors.
"She'll be given notice tonight," said Mr. Samsa, but neither from his
wife nor his daughter did he get any answer, for the cleaning woman seemed
to have shattered again the composure they had barely achieved. They rose,
went to the window and stayed there, holding each other tight. Mr. Samsa
turned in his chair to look at them and quietly observed them for a while.
Then he called out: "Come over here, you two. Let bygones be bygones. And
you might have a little consideration for me too." The two of them complied
at once, ran over to him, caressed him, and then quickly finished their
letters.
Then all three left the apartment together, which was more than they
had done for months, and took the streetcar to the open country outside
of town. The car, in which they were the only passengers, was filled with
warm sunshine. Leaning comfortably back in their seats they talked over
their prospects for the future, and it appeared on closer inspection that
these were not at all bad, for the jobs they had, which so far they had
never really discussed with each other, were all three quite promising
and likely to lead to better things later on. The greatest immediate improvement
in their situation would of course come from moving to another apartment;
they wanted to take a smaller and cheaper but also better situated and
more practical apartment than the one they had, which Gregor had selected.
While they were thus conversing it struck both Mr. and Mrs. Samsa, almost
at the same moment, as they became aware of their daughter's increasing
vivacity, that in spite of all the sorrow of recent times, which had made
her cheeks pale, she had bloomed into a pretty girl with a good figure.
They grew quieter and half unconsciously exchanged glances of complete
agreement, having both come to the conclusion that it would soon be time
to find a good husband for her. And it was like a confirmation of their
new dreams and excellent intentions that at the end of their ride their
daughter sprang to her feet first and stretched her young body.