STAR WARS: SPECIAL EDITION by George Lucas
MiSTed by "Average Joe" Barlow (jbarlow@earthling.net)

MOVIE:
Dr. Forrester and Frank subject the Bots to the needlessly
revamped adventures of a wormy young hero.  After his uncle
buys an android containing stolen government plans, Luke
Skywalker (Mark Hamill) whines his way through a number of
scenarios as he attempts to blow things up.  Along the way
he meets a senile old man (Alec Guiness), a pompous pirate
(Harrison Ford), and somehow manages not to screw up the
rescue of the obligatory damsel in distress (Carrie Fisher).
Eventually a bunch of things are destroyed, and everyone
is happy.

HOST SEGMENTS:
Prologue:
Star Wars is being reissued in theaters, and the
Bots think of other films that could benefit from the
'Special Edition' treatment.  Gypsy proposes a new version
of Casablanca, with Richard Basehart appearing in all of
Bogie's scenes.  Servo is really, really into the idea of
a new version of Jaws.

Invention Exchange: In honor of the recently re-issued Star
Wars trilogy, the SoL mixes candy with weaponry to create
the Lifesaber.  The Mads' invent "Force in the Box" to
control the minds of people in the near vicintity.

Segment Two: Servo and Crow are unimpressed with Mark
Hamill's performance in the film, and name several household
appliances that could play the role better.  Mike reveals
that all truly great actors are named Richard.

Segment Three: The Bots, inspired by the film's new Jabba the
Hutt scene, decide to write a "new" Star Wars segment of
their own.  Mike is unwillingly drafted to play Luke.  He's
underwhelmed by the script, though Gypsy is a surprisingly
cheerful wookie.

Segment Four: Crow tries to convince Gypsy that he's been
seduced by the Dark Side of the Force.  He doesn't succeed,
despite the neat "Vader" breathing effect that Cambot
programmed for him.

Segment Five: Ben Kenobi visits the Satellite of Love; he's
more than a little strange, but he likes the "nice toys"
that Mike has (meaning the Bots).  In Deep 13, Frank tries
to use the "Force in the Box" on Dr. F.  It doesn't go so
well, so Frank pushes the button.

Stinger: Biggs gets personal.

REFLECTIONS:
This was the first MiSTing I ever wrote, and it was quite
an ambitious project if I do say so myself.  It was
inspired not so much by the quality of the film (which I
dearly love), but by the insipid mentality of LucasFilm:
"We've created three of the most popular and financially
successful films of all time... let's change them around a
bunch."  Why?  It's a money thing, I'm sure.

Now I have no problem with earning money-- I've even done
it myself on occasion.  But come on, does a film loved by
this many people really need a face-lift?  I guess we should
let Mr. Lucas go through his "colorizing Casablanca" phase;
then hopefully he'll get back to making movies.

This MiSTing won two 1997 Golden Hamdinger awards: Best
Riffing and Best Use of a Non-MST character in an MST
Environment (for Ben's visit to the Satellite in Segment
Five).

                                                      AJB