Not the happiest of subjects - 'tis true...... I wish I didn't have so much first-hand knowledge of it. This will be my little attempt to educate the world just a bit more about clinical depression.



If I (and others) had been more knowledgeable about depression in the past, I may have begun treatment well before I finally did in May 1998..... hmmmmm ..... possibly sometime within the last 30 years or so !!!! (I'm now 37.) I don't think that I have been seriously depressed for the entire time, but I now realize that it has been so for a great deal of that time. I'm coming to the conclusion that I had my first major depression when I was about ten or eleven years old.
Bummer, eh???

Sorry that I don't feel like writing a whole lot on the subject at the moment... I just wanted to get at least something up on this page. You know what?... depression can make one feel incredibly fatigued, lacking in motivation, and not feel like communicating very much... so there it is in action!!





This is a list of some of the major indicators of depression:

� � Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells.
� � Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns.
� � Irritability, anger, worry, agitation, anxiety.
� � Pessimism, indifference.
� � Loss of energy, persistent lethargy.
� � Feelings of guilt, worthlessness.
� � Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness.
� � Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal.
� � Unexplained aches and pains.
� � Recurring thoughts of death or suicide.

Most people would recognize the first and last points (and possibly the fourth and sixth) as signs of depression. I have always had trouble making decisions (have I always been depressed?), and my exhaustion made my ability to concentrate, and remember anything, vanish. When I was at work I would be seething with irritation and frustration... while the weekends saw me collapsed on the couch half asleep. I have been unable to work since Sept. '98 (not able to be much help to people with cancer these days.....surprising eh?) I haven't achieved very much since then... While this disorder is difficult for the sufferer, it is also very difficult to live with somebody who is depressed - I have an exceptionally patient partner....... I am very lucky! Thanks Jaymi!!



UDATE:    I guess Jaymi's patience ran out..... we are now separated, and she will move away from me and my illness at the end of January.... I wish I could too .....

Needless to say this has not helped my mood - I survived Christmas and the changing of the year, but not terribly gracefullly. While we have tried many different drugs and combinations thereof without success, my psychiatrist assures me that we WILL find a way.

................it's just so tiresome and tedious until then....





I have found several really good sites on the web that I have bookmarked/"favouritised".... and then,.... I found what I think is the ultimate one!!! Internet Mental Health has links to all the sites that I had previously discovered, as well as tons of links to others. I was really pleased to see not only very detailed medical information regarding various mental health disorders, diagnoses and medication, but also links to personal sites, those of mental health organizations, support groups and newsgroup listings. One can also find a comprehensive medical dictionary (under the magazine heading), and information regarding research into these disorders. Last, but not least is that the site can translate from English into French, German, Italian, Portuguese and Spanish,... and back!


P.S�� Internet MentalHealth has no corporate sponsors.