clinging
to the steering wheel
that will take me away
from the city where i left a scream
my vocal chords couldn't say
my throat could not release
and my mouth could not let escape
because being heard means being hurt
i must remind myself to breathe
and accept the wet air
that keeps me alive
so i can carry my scream with me
in a jar
in my coat
or maybe tucked neatly away
in my shoe
for someone else to hear
on some far away day
when i no longer have to pretend
to be me
or smile the smile
of this blind benignity
that numbs my fingers
as i dig my nails
into the steering wheel
that will take me off the edge of this cliff
that's there but i just can't see
thought about just pressing this pedal
and going over like Thelma & Louise
but i didn't and now what do you do?
just sit here
clinging to the reins
of this great mechanical beast
i am slowly becoming a part of
'cause i'm too afraid
of never speaking your name
if i let this scream come true
and erase you
from the vocabulary of my soul
where you've become
a noun, adjective, and verb
to describe the smell of burning incense
and the sensation of fire
beneath my fingertips
inextinguishable by my hand
but only by this scream
that can't get past my teeth
as they clench
to keep you inside
and this scream
that i could feel again
if i could just
scream.