The Origin of Homosexual Hurt

Homosexual Healing: A Christian Response to Gays and Lesbians (Session 2)

Series Objectives: To enable each participant to…

Approaches to Understanding Homosexuality

  1. A Moral Issue - before 1880 this was the predominant way of thinking about homosexuality.
  2. A Psychological Issue - Freud advanced the idea that childhood trauma resulted in psychological conflicts. Multiple choices were usually available to resolve the conflicts. Homosexuality was one.
  3. A Biological Issue - More recently the popular belief is that homosexuality is biologically determined, although there is absolutely no scientific proof of this.
  4. A Political Issue - Homosexual leaders have successfully associated homosexual rights with the plight of the disenfranchised and minorities. Bigotry is the label applied to any who disagree with their pursuit of certain rights.
  5. A Theological Issue - Liberal leaders in mainline churches have decided that homosexuality is an expression of God's variety in creation. If God made homosexuals, then same-sex sex cannot be immoral in the context of a faithful monogamous relationship in marriage.
  6. A Spiritual Issue - Homosexuals are working out there "fallenness" with the rest of humanity, deeply impacted by Adam's sin and rebellion. This alienation from God results in profound moral, psychological, biological, political, and theological effects.

A Developmental Understanding of the Origin of Homosexuality

  1. Human sexuality is based on a relational need, not a physical drive.
    1. Male and female together reflect the image of God.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

  1. The true understanding of what we are to be is found outside ourselves in God Himself.

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. (Genesis 2:18-20)

  1. The creation of woman was prompted by a relational need inside man.

The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Genesis 2:23-25)

  1. The relational need was met through creation of a complementary being, not a duplicate being.
  2. Relational oneness and sexual intimacy are intended to reflect the image of God.
  3. Gender security results from embracing my identity as male or female in the image of God.
  1. Distorted human sexuality is caused by sin
    1. The first result of sin was a loss of gender security and sexual intimacy.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. (Genesis 3:7)

  1. Man as male and female in a covenant "one-flesh" heterosexual union remains the standard by which sexual aberrations are determined.
  2. Homosexuality becomes a symbol or a symptom of social disorder. (Genesis 19, Leviticus 18:21-24, 20:13, and Romans 1:26-27)
  3. Homosexuality becomes a specific sinful departure from the will of God. (I Corinthians 6:9-11 and I Timothy 1:9-10)
  1. The Fall affects man's acquisition of sexual identity
    1. Heterosexuality is the psycho-sexual goal of human development.
    2. Fallen man may encounter legitimate developmental roadblocks in attaining that goal.
    3. Sexuality is learned through interactions with significant adult influences.
      1. No one is born predisposed to be heterosexual or homosexual.
      2. No facts exist to support the biological hypothesis of homosexual development.
      3. Gender security is tied to a legitimate God-given need for same-sex intimacy with the same-sex parent.
    4. Masculine and feminine identity is acquired through bonding with the same-sex parent as a young child.

Example: "the glory of children are their fathers" (Proverbs 17:6)

  1. If bonding is denied, defensive detachment will occur, leaving the child with a legitimate, emotional need for same-sex intimacy.
  2. Homosexual hurt stems from a breakdown in God's design for a family.
  1. Homosexuality develops as a child processes a legitimate need
    1. Homosexual hurt does not always lead to homosexual behavior.
    2. Failure to resolve the legitimate homo-emotional phase of development can result in a homo-erotic drive during adolescence.
    3. The legitimate need for same-sex intimacy now becomes associated with an illegitimate desire for same-sex sex.
      1. In men the sex drive may attach itself to the emotional need and become a physical addiction (the "cannibal compulsion").
      2. In women the need to acquire a feminine identity may be subverted by a deep, emotional dependency ("mother/daughter" control scenarios)

Homosexuality leads to a relational dead-end

  1. Intense need with a broken identity results in uneasy unions: the suffering is real.
  2. Many men are trapped in a cycle seeking to find self in others, while creating an image that others will seek out - intimacy needs are submerged.
  3. Many women will place unmet needs on to one who seemingly can meet them - intense, unhealthy bonding results.

Closing Thought

  1. The needs underlying homosexuality are legitimate and God-given.
  2. Homosexuality is a counterfeit solution to an emotional need, and actually decreases the possibility of the need being met.
  3. Homosexuality is a sin that keeps a person from finding their true identity in God Himself - who stands ready to fulfill the legitimate needs in legitimate ways.