IN THE EYES OF…

 

…Dave 'Striker'

Round 5:

Grangers 1 - 5 Dolphins

* arrgh!!

Goals: Dave

Crowd: 14 approx.

Rangers Supporters in Crowd: 1 approx. (and I think he left at half time)

Pitch: Hard but fair

Best Hot Chips: Kentucky Fried Chicken

Red Cards: 1 (Marko)

Yellow Cards: Too many to count

Swear words: 943

Capital of Canada: Ottawa

Match Report: (Provided by Dave who will remain anonymous)
Well, Rangers kept the Dolphins scoreless until the 35 second mark when one of their players unleashed a cracker of a shot which went over Eroy's head and into the net. The team is divided on whether Eroy could have saved it.
Eroy says no.

If the crowd wanted more they didn't have long to wait. Only a minute. This time a through ball and they were away giving Eroy little or no
chance.

Rangers picked up their act a bit after that. After a fairly even period of lets say 20 minutes, Rob slipped a beautiful ball over to Dave who hit
it first time over the keeper and into the net. Rangers were back in it. So they thought. But their goal started to live a charmed life after that.
Mezza hits both posts with the one shot. A Dave header was well saved. As was a Hasler shot from around the penalty spot area.

And with the Ref having a Barry Crocker, Eroy goes and knocks over their striker in the box. Most expected a red card. At least a yellow. But no just a penalty....3-1.

Then Rangers dominated for 10 minutes. It was half time.

Half time also saw the introduction of Marko. 15 minutes after half time saw the removal of Marko. In what could only be described as a bad tackle. Shocker. Complete balls up. Major mistime. Well, perhaps described other ways but nonetheless a deserved red.

But Marko is like a rock. Am I saying he's tuff? No, more like sandstone. (Engineer/Geologist joke. 'Tuff' is a type of rock pronounced toof but for the purposes of this joke pronounced tough) Oh, forget it.

Down to ten men and their players hacking like woodchoppers, it was getting rough. But Rangers played well for ten men and created a few more chances. But then they scored again. This may have been the end of the scoring but it wasn't the end of the abuse with the Rangers bench in full cry.

Well, some say you learn more from a loss than a win but the Washington Generals don't.
I asked anthony to describe what he thought went wrong in his own words. "Em jut nout mublark un mublark."

And that pretty well summed it up. If none of this is funny, then Merrick's been tampering with my report again. {turn it up- M}

Quote of the week 2nd runner up:
Dave to Marko
: "On our fifth kickoff I was just going to give it straight
to their number 8 and take him out."

Quote of the week 1st runner up:
Dave after giving the ref much abuse from the sideline
: "Well if I can't
compete physically, I'll compete verbally."

Quote of the week:
Ray to Eroy
: "You know that Anthony that turned up to training?"
Eroy: "Trevor"
Ray: "Yeah, that's him."

Team in no particular order: Andy, Anthony, Chris, Dave, Eroy, Harry,
Jimmy, Marko, Mezza, Nick, Pete, Ray, Rob and Russ.

Injuries: Jimmy (shin splints), Dave (same - will cause him to miss
training), Rangers (pride).