I woke up this morning with what seemed to be mud all through my hair and over my body. Was this a bad dream? or had I really rolled around in the mud with 21 other men last night. Only my aching body could tell me the truth and remind me of what reality was.

It all started at about Thursday last week, when it started raining and still hasn't stopped. This left a Cabolture field similiar to the rings where bikini clad young women roll around a wrestle. Or so people have told me.

I knew there was going to be some problems with the referee from the start but I didn't know it was going to be this bad. For the first time in my life I saw the referee toss an imaginary coin, maybe the captains from the previous early game hadn't paid him.

Right at the kickoff it started to pour sending Grangers players to the dugout to take the bags to dryer pastures. Once the game got under way we knew we had a challenge as the Wanderers spent most of the first half camped in the Rangers territory. Despite this the Grangers battled hard with Harry and Eroy making some important covering tackles and saves respectively.

At the other end Dave, Merrick and Anthony were trying their best with the little opportunuites that were coming there way. It was probably late into the first half when a deflected save was slotted home by a Wanderes player. Half time, 1 nil and the Grangers were still in the game. Who was to suspect what was going to happen in the next half.

The Grangers started well and put on a couple of chances and things were starting to look good. Then a corner at the other end saw Robbie, a formar North Piner, lob an overhead kick past Eroy into the far side of the net. Things went from bad to worse minutes latet when another corner should have been cleared at the far post but somehow a Wanderers player snuck his way along the byline to pass back to another player who tapped in from close range.

This is when it all fell apart for the Grangers. An altercation between Nick and the Long haired git caused some problems and then Dave lashed out and the Ref told him to go and have a shower. As if he wasn't wet enough already.

A bewildered Grangers team was left in tatters when the fourth goal was scored from range and then another from a header from in close range. It went got worse when Andy picked up a ball that was clearly out. The ref decided to give a free kick for hand ball, this was the last straw for Andy and let the referee know what he thought about his performance. This was enough for the ref to send another Grange player to the showers.

5 nil down and 9 players left on the muddiest fields evere encountered. This is where the nightmare ended.

I pitty the person who will have to clean the shirts for this game ...

Eroy, Mark, Harry, Nick, Andy, Jimmy, Froggi, Ray, Russell, Anthony, Dave, Merrick, Chris

Andy to the Referee explaining the level of his performance: