"I've played football for 21 years" - Referee yesterday
There was something unusually sinister about the game played at Gunnersbury Park yesterday. And it seemed to surround the number 3. For some three is a lucky number, Bananarama for example or Big Fun. For others it is the magic number, De la Soul being an example of this. For Sporting Club Kiosk it is the predictably obvious number, and on Sunday 28th the number 3 conspired to see Sporting Club K suffer their most recent humiliation in front of the combined crowd of 1.
3 Foot high Grass
This was the length of grass on which Sporting Club struggled to maintain the 1-1 scoreline which almost spookily was the score at half time. Just like in every other game they have played.
3 Foot in front of his face
This was the approximate distance the referee could see when judging line calls, offsides, serious assault and battery offences, goals..which he disallowed, then allowed. The glasses he wore could simply only be considered a token gesture.
3rd game of the Season
3 games but not 3 points. Not even 2 points. SCK have managed just 1 point from 3 games. Only Southampton have a worse record.
3 goals Conceeded
As in every game so far this season Sporting Club K let 3 goals into the net. On this particular occasion this was not only sloppy but undeserved. The boys had actually played well and the end result belittled the dominance of the game that Kiosk had for the middle 20 of the first half and first 20 of the second.
3 metre pot-hole
Additional hazard added by Gunnersbury Park to keep the two teams alert. As if high studs and sinister barage balloon shaped referee were not hazard enough, the groundstaff had chosen to leave a man trap centre pitch and a huge pile of steaming dog excrement in the Kiosk Goal. ( Not to be confused with Mat the Cat Lash who no longer plays for the team).
How the game went
The game began in typical Sunday Morning fashion. The opposition had forgotten their goal keeping gloves and in true gentlemanly fashion Kiosk rushed to hide their spare pair. Once on the pitch the comedic emergence of the referee served to lighten the mood and it was not long before the Kiosk boys were underway on their focused objective to conceed 3 goals
Many in the crowd were disappointed to see strong defensive work by Kiosk in the first half which meant that they would only have to work harder in the second half to conceed goals. However the Gods smiled on Kiosk after 35 minutes (note the time, a predictable first goal moment) when Kiosk reduced their task considerably by conceeding their first of the 3. A volley from Peter and knocked away by the keeper was knocked in by the diminutive other striker in the 42nd minute sending the two teams into half time and compulsory "we can't possibly lose this" speech by Warren at half time. The task of letting in 3 goals looked distant and futile.
After pissing around for the next 35 minutes holding up the ball well in mid field defending brilliantly the Kiosk boys finally remembered their plan with 10 minutes to go and let the opposition score the 2nd. Relief all round as the boys needed to do little more than sit back as the obliging oppo finished the job with only a few more minutes elapsed and the elusive 3rd goal safely in the bag.
