SPORTING CLUB K 11 - PACIFIC ALBION 0

WET WEEKEND ENDS KIOSKS GOAL DROUGHT

HOW JEALOUS IS JON WORKMAN ?

For those who aren't in the know, this report is dedicated to Jon Workman, currently unavailable for selection due to his antipodean antics.

PETE's MODESTY

The floodgates opened yesterday, as a rain soaked Sporting Club Kiosk sent an amazing eleven goals passed the numerically challenged Pacific Albion. The need for modesty prevents a more incisive analysis, so this match report will continue in the form of quotes.

QUOTES

"We didn't miss Jon at right back" - The team.

"Our more attacking formation, with BOTH wing backs pushing up well really did it" Gordon Mowat.

"I think I've found my niche" - Harry Bowcott

"It was just like playing for Celtic during the early eighties, especially the outstanding service from the right flank" - Derek Mills

"The fact that they only had nine men (one of whom was stretchered off after 55 minutes) was not the primary reason for our win" - Peter Haden

"The back four are now a fully fledged unit. They think as one" - Gerd Finke

"The new right back's much better looking than before" - Anonymous female bystander.

MORE QUOTES

"It was a moment of madness" - Ron Davies

"We are what we are - Harry's a natural right back, its in his genes" - Ron Davies

"It was very wet and there was lots of mud" - Daniel Finder

"Pass the ball, Mat" - Paul Sweeney

"No, fuck off" - Mat Shore

COCKY ALBION KEEPER QUOTES

"It's only a goal when it goes into the net" - Cocky Pacific Albion Keeper (4th minute)

"Sorry" - Not so clever now Pacific Albion Keeper following emabarssing goal kicks, missed saves and general fatness (76th minute)

"We should all aspire to becoming closer to Superman" - Nietshe

"Me too" - David Blunket

"I wish I had Harry's right foot" - Steven Hawkins

"The games won, we can bring Mat and Daniel on now" - Warren Richardson

HUMOUR UNBOUNDED

"Il y a une sange dans l'arbre" - Jean-Christoph Gandon

"Donde esta la garda?" - Daniel Finder

"Ich bin ein Berliner" - Gerd Finke

"We've only scored 7, we need to get at least 15 next half" - Warren Richardson

"Tooting Common's very big." - Kevin Ashton (tardy)

"Paul's really hungry for it, pass it to him" - Warren Richardson (stating the obvious)

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