His hands sliding along her thigh are cool, gentle, unyielding.
Shecloses her eyes, unbidden, and studies the backs of her eyelids,
waiting."Smooth," he murmurs, and kisses her ankle, just above the
binding."Fuck you," she answers, barely audible.He pauses. "Open your
eyes," he says. She screws them closedtighter for a moment, then does as
he asks. The room is filled withwarm light, a dozen candles flickering.
It is her own living room,but she doesn't recognize it, doesn't
recognize anything in it,even though all the fabric draping the walls
and all the candlesalong the mantlepiece, dancing and smoky, are hers.
The rug beneathher bare skin is hers, bought one morning when the sky
was gray andlaced with rain. Idly, she remembers struggling with the
carpet, trying to make it bend to fit into her car for the five mile
drivehome, finally leaving it hanging from the passenger side window,
hoping the rain would hold off until she got it inside. It was
anoriental, gray and cream and pink, hummingbirds and flowers. She meets
his gaze finally. His eyes are the color of hazelnuts,rich and brown.
"Say it," he orders. "No," she answers, and looks at the ceiling,
knowing that is notthe right answer."No?" he asks, and strokes her inner
thigh gently.I will not squirm, she thinks to herself. I will not
respond tothis.But she has already responded, already tumbled laughing
and full ofdesire to the floor, to lie in his arms and follow him
through hiskisses. Already reveled in the feeling of his cock
stiffeningagainst her thigh, the feeling of power that his desire gives
her. She likes this game; likes to arouse him with her smile and
herlight, hesitant touch, then send him home full to bursting, whenher
own desire threatens to overcome her.She almost didn't play the game
tonight, because the last time sheplayed, he refused to leave. He
stopped touching her, but he sat silent and grim on her couch for some
minutes, then drew her to sitnestled against him, and draped his arm
lazily across her shoulderswhile habit and want made the decision for
him, and he stroked faster andmore firmly, holding her ever more
tightly. She wanted to lookaway.He spoke only once: "Watch me," he said,
as his hand flew sure andstrong along the length of his shaft, pre-come
glistening under hisfingers. And at the last minute, he grabbed her hand
and made hercatch his warm sharp smelling come in her palm.She stared at
it. "Get out!" she yelled at him, but he didn't move.She smeared her
hand down his shirt, a shirt she had given him.Still he didn't move.
"Did you hear me?" she shrieked. "Get out!Out! Out out out!" Langorously
he buttoned up his pants and inspected the stain on hisshirt, already
drying. "Don't be a cocktease," he said finally, andleft.But it had not
been mentioned when they saw each other next, northe next time, and so
she had decided to play the game. Only thistime not only did he not
leave, he did not stop, kissing her andcaressing her breasts through her
shirt until she couldn't bear it.She had only two thoughts in her mind,
to make him leave, and tolet him do whatever he wanted to her.Habit won
out. "Stop," she finally gasped out. "I want you toleave. Please leave
now."To her utter surprise, he answered, "I am not leaving. And I
willnot stop. You may accept this and enjoy what is coming, or you
mayresist, and then I will tie you up."She was so surprised that her
desire faded. "That's rape," shesaid."Yes," he agreed. "It is. Unless
you consent. So accept that you aregoing to have sex tonight. Whether it
is consensual or not is up toyou."She made a mistake, then; she laughed.
"You can't be serious," shesaid, and went on saying it while he bound
her wrists to her ankles, right there where she lay on the living room
floor, andwhile he went to the kitchen and came back with the utility
shears,which he used to cut away her clothing."Stop saying that," he
told her, as he surveyed her, naked and bound."I wanted to make love to
you. And you won't let me. So this is your doing."She stopped paying
attention to him, while she considered this. Shedidn't know what a
cocktease was, but she knew that her virginitywas a commodity, and a
weapon. And she used it. It was all she had.She had barely noticed when
he rolled her onto her back, spreadingher legs, and began sweetly
kissing her belly button, the swell ofher stomach, her hip joint. Her
eyes came wide open when his tonguemade a lazy circuit of her labia,
sweeping swiftly and barely overher clitoris."Stop," she whispered. Her
heart leaped when his tongue touchedher; she had never felt a desire so
strong that she didn't know whoshe was. She was afraid that if she
didn't stop him, she wouldnever be able to let him go, never be sure any
more whether herdecisions were hers or his. She wanted him so badly, and
for thefirst time, she began to be afraid of him."I will, eventually,"
he answered, a ripple of humor in his voice. "But first you will beg me
to fuck you, again and again, first youwill come and you will think the
earth has stopped moving. And Iwill not stop before I have had my
pleasure of you."She began to cry then, soft small tears that rolled
from her eyesdown her temples and into her ears. They itched. She wanted
toscratch them. And still his tongue moved in relentless circlesround
and round her clitoris, making her thighs tremble and herhips buck. His
fingers played around the opening of her vagina, stroking the underside
of her ass and dipping gently to caress heranus. He pulled her clitoris
into his mouth and sucked, flickinghis tongue over it, and she gave up.
Her legs locked around hishead as her orgasm crashed into her,
scattering her in alldifferent directions.When she settled back into
herself, he was smiling at her. "Haveyou ever had an orgasm with another
person?" he asked, and in amoment of defenselessness, she answered
simply, "No. That was thefirst." She did not add that it was her first
orgasm, because shewas afraid that if she did, she would also add that
she wantedanother. He brought her a drink, holding her up so that she
could swallowwithout the water running all over her. She asked him again
tostop. He let her back down and said, "Not until we're finished. Askme
to fuck you."She shook her head, slowly, side to side, while he removed
hisclothes. She had never seen him completely naked, and she thoughtshe
would drown in the beauty of his body. "Say it," he said, andknelt at
her feet, holding her left foot. "Say it," he said, anddrew her toes
into his warm wet mouth.And now she lies on her back in her own house,
trussed hand andfoot, naked, while he plays his hands over her body and
pulls forthunwilling desire. "Do you know what I will do if you refuse
again to say it?" heasks, running his finger around her inner labia. She
is wet fromher orgasm, open and wanting him. She shakes her head again;
shedoesn't know, but she knows it will be another thing that
bothterrifies her and sends her reeling with pleasure. His fingerenters
her, easily and firmly, encounters her hymen and stops, thenwiggles
around, elicting a moan from her before she can clamp hermouth around
it. "Ask me to fuck you," he says, withdrawing his finger and
insertingit again." Not. on. your. life," she breathes, and he smiles,
removes his finger, and says, "So be it."And then he scoots up between
her legs, and she knows what he isgoing to do. His erect cock, fat and
slick with pre-come, ispointing straight at her, and she wants him so
much she thinks fora moment she has actually shifted herself down to
meet him. But shehas succeeded in holding herself still, though even yet
she isunprepared for the smooth feeling of his cockhead pushing into
her, stretching her vagina."Remember this," he tells her, catching her
eye. "There will never beanother first time." He continues to slide
himself forward, and shelifts her head so that she can watch his cock
disappearing into herbody. He cups her head behind her neck, holding
her, watching herface as he begins to pump slowly, a little more of him
entering herwith every stroke.At last his cock comes to rest against her
hymen, and he pauses."This will probably hurt," he says. "Do you want it
gradually or inone quick pop?""You make a terrible rapist," she flashes
at him, and just as sheis drawing breath to rail at him, he gathers
himself and plungeshimself into her, breaking her hymen and burying his
cock as far asit will go in her.Her breath comes out of her in a long
whoosh, but she does not cryout. "All right?" he asks her, as if they
are about to go out toeat. "Fuck you," she answers again, and he nods.
"By all means," hereplies, and begins to move his hips. She lets her
head fall back, eyes closed, and abandons herself to awelter of new
sensations. She feels full, and completely open atthe same time. Her
body rocks of its own accord, rising to meet himand falling back to
recover. She feels the beginnings of sweatalong her thighs where they
meet his, she smells her own sex in theair, weighted and carried along
by the smoldering candles. Unbearably, her orgasm begins to rise, and
against her will, hervoice breaks through her lips: "Yes. So sweet. So
good.""Say it," he breathes, increasing his tempo, thrusting a
littlemore deeply and fully. "Say it.""Oh God," she wails, and cries it
out: "Fuck me. Please. Oh, pleasefuck me."He groans in desire and slams
himself into her; she grabs him and squeezes as her second orgasm plows
through her brain. In the midstof it, she is aware of a completely
unexpected sensation: her bodyfilling with his come. He drops onto her
chest and holds her,laying his head against her breasts. His cock leaps
and twitchesinside her clutching vagina, and she falls headfirst into
anotherorgasm. Slowly he gathers himself and withdraws from her. He
unties her arms and legs and stretches himself beside her, holding her
gently.She is still shaking from her orgasm, and he wipes the tears
fromher face and strokes her hair, absorbing her tremors into
hischest.She says something, but her mouth is against his skin and all
thatcomes out is a muffled burble. "Shh," he says. "Don't speak. Let
mehold you." And she relaxes her balled up fists and twines her
armsaround his neck, smelling him and wondering who she is
now.