Speaketh the Prophet of Fantasy Football:  
 
             After mourning my losses for seven day and seven nights, save 
          the day and night of Sunday and the night of Monday, on the 
          mountains of the Fantasy Gods, I beheld an all powerful voice.  It 
          said unto me this:  Hark, who darest go where only Gods may 
          tread.  I spake:  It is merely I, Ford, A humble servant.  He 
          saideth:  Gentle Ford, you have sinned many times, but I feel 
          pity and shall wash you clean and absolve you of your sins.  You
          will forever praise my name and the names of the lesser Gods, you 
          also shall spread the word of Fantasy Football as the First 
          Disciple, and you shall take these commandments down from this 
          mountain and bequeath them unto all of mine servants.  These 
          commandments are to be obeyed as law. Breaker of these laws 
          shall incur the almighty wrath of the Gods.  And, henceforth, 
          being in utmost standing among the rest of my followers, shall
          be called, Ford the Wise.  This is my will, this is law.

             And so, now I hereby give these commandments unto the rest 
          of the followers.

           1.  Thou shalt not enter a season believing your team is the best 
               in the league.

           2.  Thou shalt not throw games, or refuse to ridicule one who 
               has thrown games.

           3.  Thou shalt never speaketh nor implieth that Fantasy Football 
               is not important.

           4.  Thou shalt never make bold, arrogant, unfounded 
               statements, such as "I am carrying the weight of the 
               elders" or "Best in 5 categories", "I am the trendsetter".

           5.  Thou shalt not use the last two picks of the draft for any 
               other use than tight end or special teams.

           6.  Thou shalt not draft rookies in numbers exceeding three.

           7.  Thou shalt not arriveth at draft day unprepared.

           8.  Thou shalt not belong to leagues exceeding the number of one.

           9.  Though shalt not draft a player for the sole reason of spiting
               another coach.

          10.  Thou shalt draft retired players.

          Speaketh Ford the Wise to Boss the Dumb, Jim the Gay, Booee the 
          Commish, Kauth the Strange, Travis the Gay Fucking Travis, HaHa 
          the Disgrace of the Elders, Hull the Foolish (for drafting 
          rookies), Katz the Lost (Unheard from for months), T.J. the 
          Man of Brotherly Love, Kock the Cute, and Tom the Drunk.

          This I delivereth unto thou on this 48th day preceding the Winter
          Equinox.