Keese's Korner - week 3 results
presented by The CyberCops precinct headquarters
Week 3:
High score (another tie) goes jointly to The Pocono Pounders
and (yours truly) The Cyber Cops!
Congratulations.
Keese: Why, thank you. I'd like to thank all the little people
that made this possible, especially The Slashers.
Ernie: Not bad, don't you think, with 90% of my team injured?
Although we DID question Keese's scoring!
This week Keese is going back into the history books to
resurrect the famous Boner of the Week Award, and awarding
it to himself:
Last week Mike Skinner slyly got Keese to trade one of his
running backs for a wide receiver (Mike will of course insist
that this was all on the up-and-up). Keese wasn't going to
trade but foolishly had a last minute change of heart (the
trade itself was OK).
Now Keese has three running backs, but TWO of them are off
this week! DUH!
Now Keese has to do another trade or add/drop! DUH!
(note to anonymous cowardly chicken-hearted reporter from
last year, wherever you are:
You are welcome to continue this award, unless of course
you are too cowardly)
We can change the name to the 'DUH' award if you want.
Squirrely Sean's Seattle defense finally scored in single digits.
Don't count on it happening this week, though.
zzzzz -
Did Kordell Stewart have a bye week this week and forget to
tell us???
ugly -
Description of Green Bay's wins. Yes, a win's a win, but low
scoring games don't get FFL teams anywhere.
ugly -
Also description of (--- name of your opponent this week ---)
sneaky -
Paul picked up Jason Garrett, Dallas Cowboys. Anyone want Troy???
How about that paint guy Sherwin Williams?
kudos -
also to Paul for that great Miami defense.
Reprinted from last week:
From one of our readers:
"An unofficial report from the UB Rednecks camp:
The Rednecks were so disgruntled with the Slushies
for not sending in their week's line-up that we had no
choice but to WHOP 'EM in the 2nd round! - anonymous"
(ed note - Please change UB Rednecks to CyberCops and 2nd round to
3rd round).
Cyber Cops guest cop of the week:
Kojak (Telly Savalas)
Savage Squirrels guest cop of the week:
Secret Squirrel
note to Squirrels: We are on to your plot to take over the
world. Go to:SquirrelWorld
Maryland isn't too far from New Jersey, is it???
Now since there was no trash talk this week (everyone must be
busy or on vacation or in Los Angeles again), here's last
week's reparte':
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Keese to Princess:
Hey, Schock -
If you don't want to play Steve Young, I'll be happy to trade
anyone on my team for him, ok?
Keese
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Princess to Keese:
NO CHANCE!!!! just because i messed up and chose the lesser
of my two good QB's, doesn't mean i'm ever going to do it
again...
even tho' we won, ANYWAY.....how are the Cyber Cops doing?????
The Winning Princess (& Co.)
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- Keese to Princess:
OHHHHH - you mean you were winning with one QB tied behind
your back??? Anyway, my losing strategy allows me to pick up
all the finest gems in the ol' rubbish heap. Just ask Ernie - I
got JJ Stokes before he could. I may trade injured Troy Aikman
for injured Dorsey Levens or any of the other 10 injured quarterbacks.
You got Kanell, didn't you! Nice pick up, dammit!
Coulda been mine!
grrrrr!! You're getting too good at this - football is a
MAN's game, you know :)
Keesers
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--- Princess to Keese:
You snooze, you lose.....you should have jumped on that
Kanell thing last week. Both of my QB's are on a by this week,
so we had to do something......
we might consider doing something with Chris Chandler if you are
interested....we could use a WR maybe Terry Glenn of NE???
Does this losing strategy thing include insulting the Princess
who has already managed to kick your butt in week one and will
be returning to do it again in week 14 (you know, that really
worked out well, we started off with a major butt kicking win,
and will finish the season on the same note!!)
Football may be a "man's" game, but we Princesses are getting
better, who knows, soon there may actually be women playing in
the league?????
The Princess
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Keese to Princess
OK, to brighten your day, choose a reply from me:
1) sticks and stones may break my bones (and Troy Aikman's)
2) big talk from a little woman
3) I'll give you a note to finish on - and then excuse myself
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-----Princess to Keese:
Keesers,
Well, i don't think i like any of those choices.....
and i notice you DIDN'T want to go for Chris Chandler,
who might be your last chance at a 1/2 decent QB this year....
CHICKEN???????????????
Now that there are two of us women in the league, who knows what
will happen next...we could even have a team(s) with only women
owners, then you guys will never stand a chance!!
The Princess
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------ Keese to Princess (the last word (for now))
Princess et al,
Somehow, miraculously, Chandler remains unhurt...
Nice try, but I prefer to let you guess my next QB move.
I am sure we will have much to talk about between now and
week 14.
As far as for more women in the league, the more the merrier:
"Hello, Mr President, the new interns are here for orientation"
Keese the sexist pig
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note - CyberCops and Shock both won that week, the trash stopped
getting thrown around - both teams must be getting SERIOUS!
I Have A Dream, part II
The following is a true, actual dream I had, except that this
time it's SHORT!
scene: Star Fleet courtroom, Jean-Luc's court martial:
Judge:
Capt Picard, you are charged with willful destruction of
your ship. What explanation do you have?
Picard:
We had just arrived in orbit around the planet when inexplicably
the hull of the ship began to break in two. Nothing I did could
have caused this.
Geordi calls on emergency channel:
Jean-Luc, I think we've found the explanation. At the time of
the Enterprise's destruction, there was a simulation of the
Titanic's last voyage going on in the holodeck. And the
holodeck is exactly where the Enterprise broke in two.
Picard:
Apparently, the holodeck program went out of control and took
control of the Enterprise, thinking it was the Titanic,
and caused it's destruction.
Judge:
I knew you were too good of a captain to have done this. Charges dismissed!'
FIN
Get your lineups in, folks, before Saturday midnight, and your
add/drop/changes by Thursday noon.
And hey, let's be careful out there.
KEESE