First off, this is
for informational purposes only. Don't do this shit or someone'll
fuck you up BAD.
Alright, someone
pissed you off, of course, this calls for revenge right? Yeah,
that's what I thought. So how do you exact revenge on the arrogant
shit? Easy, kill his car. That Ford Probe won't be worth scrap
when you're done with it, depending on how far you decide to take
it.
I guess the
harshest way of finishing off someone's car is by putting thermite
on the hood, above the engine block, and setting it alight with
some magnesium ribbon. This shit melts through ANYTHING! The
combined reactions of aluminum oxidization, and iron oxide
deoxidization result in a temperature upwards of 5600 degrees
centigrade. Depending on how big of a pile you put on there, it
should melt through the block fairly quickly, then quite possibly
continue by making a brand-new pothole on the street.
Another good way
is quite worthy of an anarchist's arsenal. You'll need a few
things:
- Wheelbarrow
- 6 or 7 bags of
cement (quick-dry)
- strong, sharp
object (preferably a kitchen knife)
- tire jack
- water (you can
probably use the victim's hose)
- heating
element (optional)
Alright, you have
all your materials, you're ready to make your victim pay. I would
suggest taking the wheelbarrow over on foot, but whatever suits
you. Put the jack underneath the car and start cranking, so that
the tires are lifted off the ground.
Repeat this
paragraph as needed. Slash the top of the tire, make sure it is
done as quietly as possible. Now here's the fun part: Mix the
cement with water in your wheelbarrow, and carefully start
scooping the cement into the tire. It will take about one and a
half bags of cement to fill a tire. If you have the heating
element, place it under the tire to heat the tire up, and move the
element all around the tire to heat all the excess water. Repeat
on as many tires as you please.
The above "prank"
is deadly to a car's transmission. If it does not blow when the
victim revs his engine, then it will severely kill his gas mileage
(maybe about half-mile per gallon), and reduce the acceleration
speed from 0 to 60 to about 2 minutes. I would recommend this for
heavy duty jobs ONLY!
This is probably
my favorite one: The shaving cream bomb. This one can get a little
pricey, and some of the materials are a little hard to come by. Be
warned: This prank should be a last resort and is not always
guaranteed to work.
Materials are as
follows:
- 20-40 cans of
shaving cream (make sure its foam, not gel)
- A large
plastic bus-tub (tupperware storage tubs will do)
- Liquid
Nitrogen
- Knife
- Heavy-duty
insulated gloves
- Ability to
open a locked car (without breaking a window)
Alright, first
off, try opening the door (you'd be surprised), if its unlocked,
this job is easier. If not, jimmy it open. Alright, take the
liquid nitro and pour it into the tub. Make sure you have enough
to fill the bottom of the tub with about 3 inches of the stuff.
Now (WEARING GLOVES) dip a shaving cream can into the liquid nitro
and let it sit in there from 30 seconds to a minute (you can do
more than one at a time), now quickly jam the knife into the can
and proceed to peel away the cover so you have pure, frozen
shaving cream. Start throwing these into the car. Be quick in your
work, you don't want the beginning ones melting and going off
before you're finished.
As you finish the
last one, close the door, do what you wish with the nitro, gather
your shit up and bug out. The car becomes slightly pressurized
with all the shaving cream melting. This will cause the windows to
fog over so the owner won't be able to see inside his car when he
goes out in the morning. When he opens up the car door, all the
pressure escapes, the shaving cream literally explodes out (so try
having the stuff thrown in the rear passenger-side seat). The
inside of the fucker's car will be TOTALLED.
Have fun, go
nuts, don't get caught! |
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