Pooshka

Jimmy

My earliest memory of my childhood is looking into the barrel of an old silvery Sig-Sauer semi-automatic that my dad was holding against my head. It was when I was two or three, maybe two and a half. I could hear him sobbing and see the tears filling his eyes. He murmured something I can't remember and put the gun down and shot it empty on the ground. He then said 'fuck', the second word I learned to speak after the word 'papa'. He has cursed the sky and just sat in front of me and cried like a man.

I've never seen my mom, not even a picture of her. My dad from time to time talked about her when he was drunk. My mom was a whore according to my dad. I can remember his story perfectly. My dad said he stayed as a virgin all his youth just so he can lose his virginity to a whore. When he was seventeen he made his visit to red light district of the city, walking down the dirty back streets of high class brothel houses. In his pocket hid a grand in cash and an old silvery Sig-Sauer. That's where my dad met my mom, a fucking beautiful whore as he used to call her. Her name was Jenny I heard. She was only sixteen when he met her, a fucking illegal prostitute. He has bought her for the night and she fucked him like a bitch. For some strange reason I can't understand, my dad and Jenny decided to live together from that night on. When the clock said it was five-oh-five, dad held Jenny in one hand and the Sig-Sauer in the other hand. He shot their way out of the street. No pimps or bitches were supposed to be alive to remember what happened. However, he did more than just shoot everybody down. My dad robbed these people and when he was out of the district he was a rich man, and as he said, in love. Life hadn't been too bad for them for a while. They moved out of the city just to end up in another city in the country. They were young and jobless, but still fucking rich. He never said anything else he did together with my mom except bonking, so I suppose that's all they did. However, every story has its tragic end. According to my dad, 'Jenny just couldn't keep her legs closed and began to fuck around all sorts of people'. I don't see what bothered him so much since she was a whore at the first place but well... the man got really annoyed at Jenny and of course, he had to drink, swing his Sig-Sauer around and give his fucking speeches about how romantic it is for lovers to fuck nobody else but each other. She then left him for a while and the next time he saw her it was six months later. He got a phone call from a local hospital. It was Jenny and she said 'come and look at your son' -me. When dad came to the hospital a little note was waiting for him instead of Jenny with me in her arms, ' Please take care of my baby', said the note. He took me home.

As I said before, the first word I could speak was 'papa', the second 'fuck', and the third 'pooshka', which I could only pronounce as long 'poooosh' at the time. Saying Papa was natural because he was the only living soul around me, but saying 'fuck' came as natural as saying Papa as well because it's the word my dad muttered whenever he looked at me. Poooosh I learned by instinct. Dad always called a gun a 'pooshka' and that he carried around all the time. He demonstrated to me the power of pooshka several times in our home to show me that I shouldn't be touching it. It was my ultimate nightmare because my instinct was telling me -now I realise- that it was an object that could get me killed, and as an ordinary species of the animal kingdom I wanted to survive. Dad figured it out pretty soon and he took the full advantage of it. Whenever I was annoying fuck out of him like by crying and knocking things off and puking and shit, he would take his pooshka out and shoot something in the room, then he points it to my head and say 'pooooosh' then I repeat 'pooooosh' after him and stop whatever I was doing.

The first time I actually got to use pooshka was when I was five. For my fifth birthday dad got me a little puppy and it was the first living soul I have ever encountered in my whole life beside my dad. I didn't really get scared of this weird creature, instead I fell in love with it. I have never felt so much loved by anything and I don't think I have ever loved anything more than this puppy. For the entire week I have played, ate and slept with the puppy. It was exactly after a week of my birthday that I woke up to notice that the puppy wasn't sleeping beside me. As I was wondering my dad came into the room and said that he's got something funny to show me. So we moved to next room and I saw my puppy tightly chained around his neck and limbs on to a wall in the room. Dad then brought a wooden box from another room while I was caressing my poor puppy who was now crying from the pain. He handed me the box and told me that it was his real birthday present to me, not the puppy. Feeling angry to my dad for the first time I opened up the box and found a brand new silvery Sig-Sauer, exactly same model as my dad's. He then said that it was going to be my own pooshka from now on and I should shoot my puppy with it. I said no fucking way and he said there's no other way, and again, he held up his pooshka against my head, pressing the barrel on the right side of my skull and said 'kill that bitch you love'. I began to cry but I brought my pooshka up as I've seen my dad do so many times, the puppy began to go yap yap and I began to go boo hoo hoo and BANG. I killed my puppy as my dad burst out into laughter.

After that incident I was allow to go out of the house whenever I wanted to, but under one condition. I had to carry my pooshka around. You can imagine how much the outside world fascinated a boy who's been trapped in house for five years -without a TV. Everything seemed to be exciting and everything seemed to be cool. The biggest fascination was seeing actual people walk around. These creatures looked just like me and my dad, but with endless variations in their physical features. On my first day out I was walking down the market place. Dad had already advised me to hide my pooshka in my pocket and think twice before using it. But when these dorky little kids tripped me and I fell into a mud pit I took out my pooshka and blew their heads away. WOW I said then. It was actually the first time I used it on people and the result was rather impressing. Everybody on the street began to panic and scream and run around and I liked that. It was like really fun. However when I heard the siren sound approaching the scene I remembered another thing my dad told me. When I hear a siren after using my pooshka, it means cops are coming and I don't want to be around when cops arrive. So I hid the pooshka in my pocket again and I ran home. When I told my dad about what happened on the day he laughed and gave me a pat on the back and he said, "But you be more careful next time, okay? I'll teach you how to be more careful". From that day on he actually began to teach me stuff. I learned how to use my pooshka more effectively, how to avoid cops, how to get rid of witnesses that could report me to cops. I also learned of jail and imprisonment and after seeing the outer world for the first time, I certainly didn't want to be trapped in another house like that for rest of my life. Me and my dad became a really good team after that and I forgave him for what he made me do to my puppy. As he said, it was just a little puppy anyway, eh? By the time I reached the age of seven, I already knew the city inside out. I've always had this map of the city in my mind, and killing people and running away from the scene became some sort of an exciting game for me. I began to read news papers and watch TV too, mainly to see what's happening around the town and more excitingly, to see and hear the news about the people I killed on the day. Me and my dad even began to make little contests from time to time, to see who could kill more people within an hour or some other fun stuff like that. When I began to go to elementary school, I've already killed a couple hundreds of people, and we were now living in a different city, a lot bigger city.

School was easy. I was better than all the little idiots who's been 'educated' in kindergartens. The teachers thought I was some sort of a genius or something, the kids thought I was an alien. I was just different and I loved it. I loved watching little kids' face change as I tell them to 'fuck off' or 'your mum's a fucking whore'. There have been some incidents where I've gone a bit too far with my little jokes that I've already moved school for three times when I reached the second grade, but my dad didn't care. He just told me one thing to follow and that was 'never hurt a kid in your school' and I stuck to that. By then I already knew what would get me into trouble and what wouldn't. At the end of the second grade I moved into a private school, a rather posh place filled with bunch of snobs. However, they were great for making money. I had this constant supply of marijuana from my dad and I could sell it at so much higher price to these stupid kids. With all the profit I made off these kids I bought myself whores. No bitch took me serious at the beginning but as soon as I began to throw cash around the place I could get any bitch I wanted. Dad soon figured out what I was doin' and he just gave me one advice 'never get too personal with one bitch', and that I followed. I just fucked them for the pure fun of it anyway. Feelings? Did I have feelings? There was this one really hot bitch that I use to buy for the entire nights and stuff whenever I went to red light district. By then I was eleven and fucked more than a hundred bitches in town, but this bitch was special. She was hot, and young. She was fifteen, still a lot older than me but still a lot closer to my age than other twenty years old bitches I usually fuck. We didn't only fuck, we like talked as well. We talked about drugs, music, movies and shits. It was like really fun to hang out with her so one day I asked her if she wanted to see me privately on the weekend. I said we could like go to movies and stuff. That bitch but then began to laugh and said 'what the fuck would I wanna do with a little kid like you?'. That flipped me out and BANG. She was no more. I had to pay some extra to cool the pimp down but it was worth it. I felt better. Stupid bitch....

I had some friends. Mostly junkies between fourteen and sixteen. I was still only eleven but it didn't seem to bother them as it bothered that stupid bitch. We always hung out together after school. We drove around the city with a stolen car -I always knew how to steal a car. These idiots knew shit about having fun- and smoked, sniffed and injected shots. The fun continued until the day that one of these idiots drove right into the back of a police car. Two cops sitting at the front immediately got out and came over to check us, everybody was panicking but I knew what to do. I took my pooshka out and killed one cop. The other cop was quicker, he managed to take his gun out and shoot at us like a crazy fuck. I didn't get hit but my friend at the shotgun took a shot on the head and it got all messy inside the car. I was sitting on the right back seat of the car and the kid on my left and the kid on the driver's seat began to scream like fuck. That really pissed me off so I shot the brain out of the kid on my left and told the kid on the driver's seat to shut the fuck up, and that he did. Then I noticed that the cop was getting back into his police car, saying some shits into his microphone in the car. I knew what this fucker was doin' so I got out of the car, shot him on the legs three times from behind to bring him down on his knees, and as he turned around to aim his pathetic Smith & Wesson at me I gave him a shot right on the mouth. Then he collapsed, face to the ground. Then I began to hear the siren. I had to get back on the car and drive away, so I turned back to walk towards our car. I could already see two more police cars coming and what do I see my friend in the car doing? That fucker started to drive off without me. I got really mad. I thought the guy was my friend. Well, he wasn't obviously. I stayed calm and brought my pooshka back up again, once more. He was driving farther away from me, he was like five metres away before, now ten, now fifteen... just before he turned to make the corner he was about twenty five metres away from me and for a tenth of a second my eyes, my pooshka and his head made a straight line and that chance I used. I pulled the trigger and I could see his head explode twenty five metres away and the car just disappeared into the other street he was turning to. I then changed my magazine and aimed at one of the police car that was now driving towards me. I pulled my trigger couple of times and the whole windshield of the police car became red, and the car drove into a street lamp on the street. Another police car that was coming right behind it crashed into the first car, and none of them moved a inch after that. I then put my pooshka back into my pocket, wiped the blood off my face with my hand and walked off the scene. Having stupid friends can be really handy.

Dad moved me into another school, yet another private school, but on the other side - a better side- of the city. After the cops incident I refused to make any more close friends, I took a long break from drugs, buying whores and killing people. I don't know why but all my interest in these things seem to have subsided as I grew older and I kinda began to see why my dad was so less into these stuff than I used to be. It just gets boring after a while. I was thirteen then. I went to the red light district regularly, but a lot less often. I stayed clean for two years. I still carried my pooshka around but it hasn't been fired at a person for two years too. Then one day this beautiful chick just walked into my life. It was Monday morning and I was sitting in the classroom, waiting for the class to begin. My teacher was late and I've already reached the age when little things like that didn't piss me off anymore. Suddenly the door opened and my teacher walked with a short and slender brunette. WOW I said to myself and boy... I think she was the first non-whore that actually turned me on. Her name was Jenny, just like my mom. Jenny was a year younger than me. However, the first time I saw her I knew that I had to fuck this girl, I just had to. It's kinda funny that rape wasn't even an option. I haven't raped anybody till then, but it had always been a possible option, but I certainly didn't want to hurt this little sweetie I've just met. She wasn't a whore either so I couldn't buy her and that meant that I actually had to work my way down to her pussy - something I haven't done before. The next few weeks were very odd. The more I talked to her the more I saw myself changing. I began to listen to the contemporary teenager's music idols, I began to watch romantic films and all the other stuff that didn't interest me till then. Jenny and I became like good friends after two or three months and we spent lots of time together outside of school as well. We went to movies, nice restaurants, ice skating and all this was fun. By the time we got so close that she began to come over to my house on regular bases I've already forgotten my initial task of working my way down to her pussy. Not that I didn't think about it, but that wasn't just everything I liked about her and there was somethng more to it. Dad didn't mind Jenny at all and in fact we even had dinners together several times. It was one night when she returned to house and I was lying on my bed alone. I've already given up trying to go to sleep and I knew why - I was thinking about Jenny. I, with all my heart, wished Jenny to be there lying down right next to me in my bed, and when I began to imagine how nice it would be to wake up the next morning and find Jenny asleep in my arms, I knew what happened to me. I fell in love. It was a big news for me so I went to the living room to find my dad watching a porn flick on his satellite TV. I told my dad I was in love and he said he's in love too, with that girl on the TV. I said no it's not like that. I told him I love Jenny. I love her body, but I love her as a person too. He said, oh well.. that happens sometimes. Then he smiled and sent me to bed. I couldn't sleep at all that night.

I didn't talk to Jenny about what I figured out the last night when I met her again in school the next day. Instead I just invited her over to my house for dinner again and as usual, she said she will come. When I came back home I just found a little note from my dad saying 'I got some stuff to do in town. I won't be back till tomorrow evening'. I said oh, well. Jenny's coming anyway. So she came, around six o'clock. We ordered Chinese food and watched TV, listened to music and talked about this and that. It was Friday night and Jenny said she could sleep over at my house that night - it was the first time she was allowed by her parents to sleep over at a boy's house she said. We thought it was pretty cool. As we were flipping through the TV channels late in the night we came across some porn channels. I've seen them all before but Jenny obviously haven't seen people fucking on TV before by the way she stared at the screen in awe. She was silent for a while and spoke in very timid voice. She said she was a virgin, and that I found so sweet for some reason. I've always fucked whores and having sex was as usual as taking shower in the mornings. She went on to say that she thinks sex is something rather romantic, something that has more to do with feelings rather than physical things. She was the first girl I met in my life who spoke of sex like that and her ideas about it was beautiful. She just made a very trivial part of my life a very meaningful part of my life. While I was lost in beauty of her words five men in black suits stormed into the living room we were staying and to my surprise, I didn't remember alarm going off. Dad set them up himself and dad's alarm system never failed. All of the five men had shot guns in their hands and Jenny began to panic and scream and go berserk as soon as these men surrounded us, pointing their shot-guns at us. I tried to reach for my pooshka but damn! I couldn't believe my senses. I didn't have my pooshka with me. While I could hear Jenny screaming and crying and sobbing I saw another man walking into the room. What my eyes first detected was a familiar looking silvery Sig-Sauer. I knew the model. It was my model and I knew only one other person who owned it in this city. It was my dad. Just as I began to smile inside imagining what my dad will now do with these five intruders I heard my dad speak, " Let's get to work guys". Just as soon as he spoke his last word three guys grabbed me and pushed me against the wall. While two men were holding me from each sides one man kicked my stomach couple of times and soon I was out of breath. He then stuck the shotgun into my mouth and two men let me go. My dad walked towards me and whispered in my ears. "Now, you are going to watch your Jenny being raped. If you move, she will be killed on the spot and I will be very pissed at you. If that happens, don't you think you can get outta here alive either". He then walked away, closer to Jenny. Two men that were holding me against the wall now went and joined the two other men holding Jenny. Only one man was with me now. He took out the shotgun from my mouth, but he kept it pressed against the right side of my skull. As three men began to tie Jenny up and hold her down on the couch the other man unzipped his pants and his huge erect cock popped out of his boxers. Dad was standing only few steps away from the scene and was keeping his pooshka aimed at Jenny's head that was now swinging from side to side. Jenny was wearing a short skirt that barely covered half of her thighs, and she had white knee high stockings. Now that her upper body is pushed down to the couch and her knees were touching the ground, she was bent over with her ass sticking out in the air, like a dog waiting to be fucked. She stopped screaming now but she couldn't stop sobbing. The man with big dick approached her from behind and pulled her skirt up to her waist. Her firm looking ass was now exposed through the white cotton material of her knickers. The asshole with the big dick looked at me in the eyes, and smiled, and as he did he slipped his fingers under the elastic bands of Jenny's knickers and pulled it down slowly. I was biting my lips so hard that I could taste the blood filling and now drooling out of mouth. My dad looked at me and smiled and said, " Watch and enjoy, son". With that sentence still echoing in my ears I was watching the beautiful pink virgin pussy of Jenny. Suddenly the man thrust his massive cock into her pussy from behind and I felt like I could hear her cherry popping. She let out a high squeal, a man holding her down on the couch slapped her cheek and she became quiet. I was grinding my teeth in anger but I didn't look away. I was watching every single thrust of the man's cock. I could see it disappear into Jenny's pussy and I could see it come out again, covered with blood. A little trim of blood flowed down Jenny's white inner thighs and it just looked so unrealistically red. I could see the man move his hip now quicker than before. He was really pumping her hard now and soon he came in her and I saw his cum dripping out of Jenny's pussy and mixing up with the red blood tracking down her thigh. They all took their turn to fuck Jenny from behind except my dad. He just stood back and watched. When they were all done with fucking Jenny was very quiet. She was no more screaming nor sobbing, but she was biting her lips with her eyes filled with tears. Dad disappeared for a minute and came back with my pooshka. He said, "It was lying around in your room. Man lose his mind when he's ub love. I told you before, 'Don't get too personal with one bitch' but you didn't listen to me, my son. Now take your pooshka and shoot this bitch like a man". Then he handed the pooshka over to me. I took it in my hand. All of them now, except my dad, were aiming their shotguns at me as I walked towards Jenny. She stared at me approaching her with her glittery eyes. She didn't say a word as I pressed the pooshka on the right side of her skull. I suddenly realised that I never had chance to find out whether our feelings were mutual. Out of all the absurdity I asked her softly, "Do you love me, Jenny?". She didn't even look at me and muttered "Fuck you" through her teeth. I pulled the trigger and her head exploded before my eyes. That's how my first love ended.

I didn't forgive my dad for that incident. I was surely pissed at him, but there was nothing that he did that I could 'forgive'. One forgives someone who has 'sinned', but he hasn't 'sinned'. As dad said, Jenny, although very special to me, was just another bitch. He had killed tens of bitches before, and so did I. We didn't consider any of our killings 'sinful', or we didn't care. There was nothing 'sinful' about what my dad did to me and Jenny, so there was nothing to forgive, but I was pissed at him. And for the first time I shot my dog, I felt what people call a 'heart ache'. Only difference was that this time the pain was a lot stronger, and it didn't go away for a whole week.

I didn't speak a word to my dad for a week or so. He just said 'talk to me whenever you feel like', and after that he didn't speak a word to me until I spoke to him first. I spent an entire week after Jenny's death in my favourite whorehouse. I fucked, ate, fucked, and slept. I don't know how many times I fucked, and I don't know how many bitched I fucked. I just fucked a lot. None of the bitches could give me half of the good feelings I had when I was talking to Jenny. Yes, Jenny was special. I didn't have to fuck her but I still felt better being with her. On the seventh day of my stay in the whorehouse I ordered three bitches at same time. At one moment, my dick was pumping in a bitch's pussy, other bitch was licking my balls and I was sticking my tongue into another bitch's pussy. As I reached orgasm and the world seemed to spin in my head, I figured out what will become of me from then on. Jenny was special, but she was gone. I'll move on, keep on fucking, keep on killing people and keep on breathing. There will be no more love in my life, and no more heartache.

On the day after I got out of the whorehouse I moved to another private school again and it was a very academic school. Lots of smart kids and good teachers. During the days in school I studied really hard. During my break I chatted with kids in my class, discussing politics and music, beer and sports. After school I always went to whorehouses and fucked a bitch. When I was done I went on the streets and killed two people per day. On the nights I read books, from Tolstoy to Anthony Burgess, from Shakespear to Tom Clancy, from Socrates to Nietsche, Confucius to Kant, and from the Bible to Koran. My days in school continued, at some point the number of people I killed per month began to decrease, and number of bitches I fucked per week decreased as well. I was getting old.

I was exceptionally good in school anyway. When I was fifteen I completed the high school course with record score on the final exam. I then went to an well known university in the country, got my masters degree when I was seventeen, PhD in philosophy when I was eighteen. My dad supported me with money all along my education, and I was getting lots of pat on the back, and I noticed him smiling brightly whenever he saw me now. I guessed he was pretty proud of me. When I turned twenty-one I've already got another doctors degree in Sociology in a foreign country and I was teaching the little kids in the school in which I have studied before. I did lots of professional advises for big companies and that brought me lots of money. I no longer had to sell drugs or rob a drugstore, but I continued doing that anyway -just for the fun of it. As I got richer women were just all over me whenever I went to a pub or a disco. I just had to through my money around and I could get a woman. There was no difference between whores and the girls with other occupations. There was no woman that wouldn't sell their body when right amount of money was offered.

Many years have passed. I was now living in my own house in a nice sub-urban area. I was like one of those capitalist pigs in pretty suits. Only difference was that I didn't associate myself with anybody. I always went to town on my own, killed couple of people to get in the mood, went to a whorehouse, and picked up a woman for the night in pubs and discos. When I was thirty-two my dad died. I've been visiting him on every weekend since I moved out -even for a very short time. It was a pooshka suicide. Cops said that my dad shot himself with his silvery Sig-Sauer. He pressed the pooshka on the right side of his skull and pulled the trigger. He hadn't taken any drugs and didn't drink any alcohol. Without even leaving a will, he just died. However, he had an old picture of a pretty brunette in his left hand. I just knew from the instinct who that was. It was Jenny - not my old Jenny, but my mom. Through the reports of the cops I discovered something about my dad that I didn't know before. I hadn't known his profession when I was a kid. He told me not to ask him about it and I respected his privacy, so I never asked. He was a middle school teacher, a teacher in ethics.

I took my dad's pooshka home and as soon as I got back home I cried. I cried like a man.

I lived couple of days in absolute despair. I woke up in the morning crying and I went to bed crying. I didn't wash myself, didn't go outside, and didn't eat anything. After three days or so I thought I was going to starve myself to death. I could cry no more. I had no more tears to shed. I walked towards my window and opened the curtain to look outside before I die. As I was looking at bright blue sky with my red eyes I stuck my hands in my pocket, and I felt something in it. I then remembered that I haven't changed my cloth since I came back home from my dad's place. I took the thing out of my pocket and I knew what it was. It was picture of Jenny. All of sudden I knew what to do. I wasn't going to die before I found Jenny again.

Next couple of months was spent in searching for Jenny. I first began by making list of all the women with the first name 'Jenny' , who gave birth to a son on my birthday. There were around 20 women in the country and one by one, I began to visit them. I met one or two women who sort of resembled Jenny in the photograph, but I could just tell by my instinct that they weren't Jenny that I was looking for. I spent countless nights looking at Jenny's picture, and for some strange reason, the more I looked at the photograph the more familiar she looked. I don't think I had Jenny's look but her face looked just way too familiar.

On my thirteenth visit I found her, but dead. She had died with her husband only a week before I found her - a terrible car crash I heard. I also found out that Jenny had given birth to two daughters. One girl was born in a year later than me, and the other girl was born only two years ago. The older daughter of Jenny was apparently sent to an orphanage due to her and her husband's terrible financial situation, and the younger daughter Jane, was now in yet another orphanage after Jenny and her husband's death. I couldn't care much about the older daughter of Jenny. She was probably adopted by someone already, and leads a normal life. But as soon as I heard about little Jane I knew what my new task was. I was going to adopt Jane, my new baby sister, and take care of her.

After some legal documents were signed little Jane became my daughter. I changed her name to Jenny, she was everything that I had lost before. Under my dad's influence I've grown up to be an emotionless creature only capable of having fun. It was only at the news of my dad that I felt a 'heartache' for the first time since I killed my Jenny. I killed thousands of people in my life and I never felt a thing. I fucked thousands of girls in my life and I never felt anything but physical pleasure. I've grown up to enjoy, but not to suffer. My dad had suffered, and he obviously couldn't take it any more at some point. But I was different. I was a stronger man, a man incapable of feeling pain because he's grown immune to the pains.

I've never regretted my life, but I wanted Jenny to be different. I wanted her to be an ordinary girl, a girl who will be afraid of pooshka as everybody else is, a girl who break a boy's heart and get her heart broken by another boy. I wanted her to be someone who could feel the pain, a person with a heart.

I moved to a little town where I've never been before. Paying tribute to my dead father, I became a middle school ethics teacher. Jenny was my every thing then. I spent maximum time with Jenny, whispering the loveliest poems into her baby ears until she fell asleep in my arms. Her first word was 'papa', but her second word wasn't 'fuck' and she never even heard of the word pooshka. When she became four years old I sent her to kindergarten. She was a cute little kid with dark blonde hair and outgoing personality. Our house was always full of her kindergarten friends that she brought home. As she began to go to elementary school there wasn't a single person in the town who didn't know her. Everybody loved my little Jenny. When she was about eleven, I realised what a beautiful girl she was turning out to be. Her dark blonde hair now became brown. She was a slender brunette who writes and sings love songs all day long, a dream of every school boy. I remembered the time when I was twelve. Jenny was everything that I was not. I fucked whores, she didn't even have a boy friend yet. I had pooshka, she had an accoustic guitar. Strangely enough, my childhood memory brought me realise something strange about Jenny. My little Jenny looked incredibly similar to my other little Jenny, my first love who was raped and killed. My little Jenny surely resembled my mother Jenny on the picture, but as I didn't have picture of that old Jenny that I killed, I couldn't really figure out if my little Jenny really looked like the other Jenny I used to know or not. I was either being haunted by my childhood memory, or it was a very wicked co-incidence that both Jenny's looked alike. I ignored it at the beginning, but as she got older and reached the age of Jenny that I used to know, I couldn't deny the fact that my little Jenny looked exactly same as the Jenny I killed before. She had her first boy friend couple of weeks before her thirteenth birthday and the boy began to come over to our house pretty often. I've been a boy before and I know what boys think about girls, especially someone as pretty as my little Jenny. I never let her boyfriend sleep over at my house because I just couldn't help but imagine this little fucker's hand crawling around inside Jenny's knickers. Hasn't someone said before that having a daughter is the cruellest punishment for a guy? I just couldn't stand the thought of anybody violating the innocence of my Jenny. She was to stay innocent until her true love comes, after all, sex could be something romantic. On Jenny's thirteenth birthday I gave her some money in the morning and told her to buy some nice cloths to wear because we will be dining outside in the evening. For the entire day at my work I've been thinking about my little Jenny... she was turning thirteen. She was already turning into a very attractive girl and I knew what all the boys around her were thinking about. I knew that everyboy in her class must be jerking off every night thinking about my little Jenny. As I was teaching I looked at the kids who were in Jenny's age. I could see the boys running their eyes all over the girls in the classroom, staring for a long time at their budding breasts and asses still young with baby fat. My Jenny was one of those girls, somewhere else in the town sitting in a classroom, being stared at by horny little bastards. It was one of the toughest teaching days I've ever experienced because I was so distracted in my mind. My school finished later that Jenny's school so when I finally finished my work and was driving home I was expecting Jenny to be ready to leave with the new cloths she would have bought today. I was wondering what she would have bought with the money I'd given her. When I came back home, I realised that there was an unwelcome guest. Jenny had brought her boyfriend home. I told her that we, and we alone, will live for dinner as soon as I get back from work, but Jenny was sitting on the couch next to this little prick, and what's worse, they were kissing. They didn't even notice me when I was standing by the door and watching them. I felt my blood boil for the first time in a very long time. I knew what to do. I quietly walked into my bedroom and took out the old shoe box from my closet. Jenny and her little prick hadn't yet noticed that I was home. But, they will notice me soon enough. I opened the box and found my good old friend. The silvery Sig-Sauer that my dad gave me for my sixth birthday, it never failed to disappoint me. I took the gun in my hand and walked into the livingroom again where Jenny and the boy were still kissing eachother and the boy was now gaining enough courage to touch my little Jenny's breast. I called Jenny's name as calmly as possible and they were so surprised by my presence that neither of them could speak a word. I didn't need to hear anything anyway, my Jenny was a virgin, and she was going to stay as a virgin. Without hesitation I shot the boy's head off with my pooshka. Jenny began to scream and squeak as she saw this sort of messy scene for the first time in her life. It's only then that I realised what new cloth Jenny was wearing. She was wearing a white shirt with big collars and silver buttons, a short skirt and knee high white stockings. She was my old Jenny, and I knew what I had to do, I had to fuck her. I threw my pooshka away and ran up to her, slapped her on the face and threw her down on the couch. She was no longer my little Jenny, she was the old Jenny I used to love and I had to fuck her -with my dick this time. Jenny seemed to be so in shock that she couldn't do anything but keep on sobbing. Made her kneel down on front of the couch with her face pressed on the couch. Her ass was sticking out in the air like a dog waiting to be fucked. I lifted her short skirt up and her firm ass came into my view. Her ass hiding in the white cotton knickers was perfectly shaped with very tight and intact skin. I began to rub her inner thighs with both of my hands. I moved my hands down to feel her legs through her knee high stockings, let my fingers loose on her soft skin of white inner thighs. Slowly moving my hands upwards, I softly touched her pussy through the white cotton material and as I did so she twisted her body a little bit. She was a virgin and new to the touch on her pussy. I let my hands slip under the elastic bands of her knickers, and very slowly, I pulled it down. Her naked ass was in view now with her pink pussy with little bit of fair coloured pubic hair growing around it. Jenny was now very quiet, and I was only panting. I then pulled down my trousers and took of my boxers. My cock was standing up erect and I knew where it wanted to go. I felt jenny's virgin pink pussy one more time before I thrust my cock deep inside her pussy. She was incredibly tight and her vagina was hotter and softer than any other I've ever felt. I felt her hymen break and warm blood began to ran down my cock, wet her pussy and flow down to her thighs. I slowly began to pump her pussy while I was grabbing her cute little ass with my two hands. I didn't increase the pace at all but Jenny was still letting out a high squeal from pain every time I thrust in. Every single stroke of my cock was stroke of pleasure for me and a stroke of pain for her. Soon enough I had the orgasm of my life as I came in Jenny's hot pussy. I then took my cock out and looked at Jenny. She wasn't crying anymore but her eyes were still full of tears. She was biting her lips so hard that some blood began to flow out from her mouth. I put my boxers and trousers back on and bent over to kiss Jenny on her bloody mouth. As I looked into her tearful eyes I had to know if our feelings were mutual. Out of all the absurdity I asked her softly, " Do you love me Jenny?". She burst out crying as she said, " Yes, daddy".

This was my girl.