� � � � When you say the words "chat room", what
do you think of? A hang-out for pedophiles, murderers, and other
criminals? Or a place for regular, everyday people to meet others like
them?
� � � � For me, it can be both. One has to be
careful when logging on because there are people looking to harm them.
I have been lucky enough not to have come across anyone like this in my
years of chatting in various rooms within IRC.
� � � � I will tell you the story of my first online
relationship. I was visiting a friend one night in October of 1998, and since
I didn't have a computer myself, decided to log on and see if I had
gotten any e-mail that day. I noticed the IRC icon on my friend's
desktop, and decided to check it out as well. I looked through the list
of IRC channels and decided on #anime_101. (That in itself was odd, since
I hate most anime.) I entered the chat and found a couple of interesting people;
one of whom happened to be an alumae of my university and the other in the US
Army. I got along well with everyone, but especially "Kain" (stationed
at an Army post in Fort Hood, Texas). We all exchanged pics and became friends
quickly..."Kain" and I having the strongest bond, despite our four-year age difference.
� � � � I must say, I didn't initially think that
things would go any further than distant friendship. I went to the
computer lab each night religiously, checking my e-mail and talking to
"Kain". He sent e-mails each morning via VirtualFlorist, telling me that
he hoped I'd have a wonderful day and that he couldn't wait to talk to me at night.
Before too long, he asked if he could call me and I told him yes. So he
did. A couple times a week I would get phone calls, and each time I
would hate to hang up. He sent me a Christmas present, the Smashing Pumpkins
"Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" CD, which remains my favorite
CD to this day. Still, I didn't think the relationship would go past
good virtual friendship.
� � � � My mom happened to intercept the mail on the
day that the CD came, and she was pretty angry that I had been in a
chat room. She was of the opinion that chat rooms harbored criminals,
and that I would be raped and murdered by the guy I'd been talking to for
over a month. I ignored her concern, of course. I wanted to keep talking
to him, knowing she had to be wrong.
� � � � "Kain" and I kept our daily chat ritual up until
the spring of 1999. We had a fight and broke the friendship; awhile
later I found out he had gotten a job in Oregon and would be heading out there
to live and work.
� � � � I don't remember why exactly (and neither does "Kain"),
but we started talking again in late spring. He told me that he wasn't
going to take the job in Oregon anyway, and we made plans to meet that summer.
He got out of the Army in mid-June and a few days after he had come home to Michigan,
he drove down and met my friend and I at a pool hall. I must say, I wasn't
attracted to him at first. "Kain" was everything I thought he would be, but
nothing like I had imagined at the same time. We played pool,
then went back to my friend's house and had a few drinks. I wasn't sure how to react
and I figured it would be the last time I saw him again.
� � � � Time passed, and I kept thinking about "Kain". I allowed
him to come back to visit three more times. My parents still didn't
know what was going on, so I had to tell my mom I was
meeting my friends somewhere. I felt guilty, but
I didn't know what else to do.
� � � "Kain" was becoming a part of my life, and I fought against it pretty
hard. I had just come off a bad relationship and I didn't want to get
into anything.
� � � � In mid-September, I told my parents what had been happening.
My mother was still pretty upset with me, since
I went against her wishes and kept talking to him. So I told her I would
have him visit for Parents' Weekend and then she would find out that he
wasn't about to hurt me. She agreed, and I
started to feel better about the situation.
� � � � Parents' Weekend rolled around and both my mom and
dad got to finally talk to "Kain" face to face. I could tell
my mom was still uncomfortable about things, but I knew it would take time for her
to adjust.
� � � � "Kain" enrolled at Ohio U the winter
of 2000. Things are going pretty well; my parents allowed him to stay
at our home over Christmas break and really warmed up to him. Now he is almost
like a part of the family.
� � � � Online relationships can turn out right..."Kain" and I are still together. But they don't always turn out like ours. To my mom and dad, my apologies for initially scaring you half to death. I always want to make you proud. To "Kain", thanks for always being there. You make life in Athens so much brighter.
� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � Return to main page