Profane Pastor Jolts Congregation

     They say the Lord works in mysterious ways. If so, then it will require all the deductive powers of Sherlock Holmes to figure out exactly how Pastor Henry Trill's Sunday outburst will fit into the grand scheme.
     Some 48 hours after the incident, Vine Valley Baptist Church member Burt Y. Genoi is still in a state of shock. “I never expected to hear that sort of language coming from a man of the cloth “recounts Mr. Genoi. “Why, I thought it was Satan himself shouting out across the pews.”
     The alleged verbal altercation occurred midway through Sunday's service while Mrs. Jodi Anne Beam was speaking to the congregation. “I always relay the week's news during this time,” explains Mrs. Beam. “I was going over the Senior's Duck Hop Pot Luck and everything was right as rain. But the moment I began talking about the offering being taken for Taliban refugees, Pastor Trill shouted - Well, I can't really go into the details.”
     But there is one member of Vine Valley Baptist Church who isn't afraid to go into the details. Head Elder Roy Gregory thinks a grave sin has been committed. “Pastor Trill desecrated the very House of God by using such salty verbiage,” sneers Mr. Gregory.  “No matter how angry one gets during this time of war, shouting `F*** the Taliban!' in church is not setting the appropriate Christian example. I believe Pastor Trill should be stripped of his duties for the harm he's caused this congregation.”
     In his defense, Pastor Trill believes the incident has been overblown. “I'm just as human as the next guy,” he responds. “I've got a son in the Rangers putting his life on the line in Afghanistan. The thought of sending money to those Taliban scum makes my blood boil.” Although he admits using poor judgment on Sunday, he doesn't believe his language is completely out of place within the Biblical context. “Cursing is as old as Adam,” Trill says. “When Peter was sinking down into the seas during that raging storm I'm sure he didn't scream out `Fiddlesticks!' to the Lord.”
     Vine Valley citizens will be able to express their opinions on this matter during a 7:00 o'clock town hall meeting on October 30TH. This will be directly followed by the annual Harvest Potluck.   

     --Darcey Walker, Special Correspondent
        Vine Valley Sentinel