The Anniversary Gift

 

Jocelyn roamed the rooms of her house restlessly, dark eyes drifting over every piece of furniture, picture, every little bit of Him everywhere.

Adam.

His name never left her, day or night He was with her. Sometimes she imagined she could still feel His fingertips drifting over her flesh, imagined she could still smell Him on her and hear His voice melting into her ear as He spoke to her of His love.

Boyfriend..Lover..Husband..Master.

Adam had been her world. She lived to serve Him, to make Him
smile and return the love He had never failed to show her. Five years together and never once had that newness worn away. The very sight of Him in the morning, or coming in through the door at the end of the day had never failed to set her heart racing with happy excitement, content warmth. And now He was gone. He was never coming back.

The meaning of it weighed heavy on her chest like a concrete block, she slid down the wall of their bedroom and felt a fresh round of hot salty tears run rampant down her cheeks. 37 years old and during a hike in the mountains the morning after New Years Eve, an aneurysm had brokne inside His brain and He had died nearly immediately as she screamed for help. So far from the hospital He had never had a chance. Guilt sat with her like a Soulmate now. He'd not wanted to go hiking that day and she had pleaded to Him how she would be so good and rub His feet later in the evening. Instead she had been planning His funeral and calling their friends and families.

Now nearly six weeks later, the very reality of how alone she was breaking through the numbness that had carried her through those first weeks. He'd left a large life insurance policy and finances were not a worry. But what did money matter when there was no Adam to share it with. She moved through the days mechanically, she breathed because she didn't have to think about it, she slept because when she slept He was with her again.

She didn't even have a chance to have His child.

Children had been discussed early in their relationship and He had told her He wanted to wait, so they could enjoy their first years together alone doing all the things they dreamed of doing together. He'd promised her as many children as she wanted later on. She had spent day after day imagining their eye color, hair, complexion, imagining the both of Them visible in that one child, the product of their love.

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People came and went, it all played like a soundless movie reel. Murmurings of concern as she began to sleep more and more. Her mother pleading with her to get out of the house and enjoy the sunshine of the brisk February days. She couldn't. When she slept. He was with her. Holding her. Telling her over and over He would always be with her.

Valentines Day loomed like a black cloud. It was their Anniversary. Six years. Six short years of having Him. She brought all of their photo albums and pictures littered all the rooms. She had saved dried rose petals from each bouquet of pink roses He'd sent faithfully every year. Her mine railed, her body responded with nausea and she spent endless hours in the bathroom being sick. She couldn't eat and she could not stop crying.

Valentines morning she woke up with a start, His name slipping from her lips and suddenly, it seemed the sun would shine for her again. She made breakfast. His favorite scrambled eggs with fresh veggies and hot bread. She dressed in a blue dress He'd always preferred her in and curled her hair, letting it flow in golden waves past her shoulders. She grabbed her coat and jumped into their black jeep and drove to the store, and walked with purpose to a certain aisle and scrutinized the boxes before her, finally laughing and grabbing one of each, laughing more as the checker smiled at her somewhat bemused.

She drove home singing along to the radio and ran into the house, locking herself in the bathroom for twenty minutes, finally stepping out with a nervous laugh at herself, halfway to the living room to go through their pictures a knock at the door halted her and she answered with a smile, though it faltered as the young man held out a small package in one hand and a bouquet of one dozen pink roses in the other. He assured her the tip had been taken care of long before and wished her a Happy Valentines Day .

She sank down onto the couch, pulling one of the roses from the vase, inhaling it before laying it across her lap to open the package with nervous fumbling fingers. A small white box with lilac tissue paper inside. She moved aside the paper and broke into great wracking sobs as she pulled the tiny set of crocheted booties from the paper, holding them in her palm and flipping open the little note nestled at the bottom of the box.


My darling angel,

With all My heart and soul, I love You.

Thank you for six Amazing years, I look forward to so many more. I made you wait Long enough.
Please, give me the greatest Gift, do Me the greatest Honor........


Have My baby.

Love you Forever and a day.
Adam.

 

She clutched the small booties and the note into her belly and fell back, laughing and sobbing and knowing. Knowing.

She rose and walked to the bathroom with a heart full of new hope and fresh love, and an overwhelming feeling that Adam was right there with her and that life had meaning again. She took a deep breath and began to pick the small panels up one by one, hardly able to see through tears that flowed anew.

A plus sign, a pink line, two lines. One after the other. Positive.

She smiled into the blue eyes staring out at her from the picture tucked into the medicine cabinet mirror and whispered..

 

Happy Anniversary, Daddy..