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There is always a lot of debate over how, when, where, and why to let friends and family know Y/you are living the *alternative* lifestyle of D/s or BDSM. I believe the need to let parents and friends know about Y/your choice is because W/we all want to feel..accepted, no matter age, upbringing, religion or race. However,
telling friends or family Y/you give up control to a *Dominant* or Y/you take control from a *submissive* could possibly be as hard if not harder than coming out as a homosexual. Nearly all of the same stereotypes apply. It's unnatural, it's depraved, W/we must be in need of deep psychological counseling, on and on the list continues. How could it ever be that a rational, intelligent man or woman could actually *need* to give up his or her control? What kind of *rational* person would find pleasure in binding the arms and legs of His/Her partner? Restrict senses? In some instances, allow Others to take pleasure in Their partner? It does not help that Hollywood has yet to show a more consensual, sensual side of BDSM. Those living a *vanilla* existence see movies such as The Generals Daughter and 8MM and come away *sure* that only people with sick or twisted minds could ever delve into such..darkness. Should W/we band together like the gay community and begin to March the streets with a new ribbon and new banner proclaiming "W/we're here W/we're into Kink, get used to it!??" It should be so easy. Perhaps some things are better left to be quietly dealt with. If the need to tell friends and family is overwhelming, choose wisely. If Aunt Esther is deeply religious and still believes in virginity until marriage, it wouldn't be wise to tell her you enjoy being bound spreadeagle and made to orgasm while being teased with the shining sharp tip of a large knife or vice versa that You wield a shining sharp knife tip over the tender nether regions of Your prone partner. Would she ever understand the concept of SSC? Most likely..no. Talk to those Y/you know have an open mind, who may in their surprise laugh at first and treat it as a joke, but come to realize Y/you are indeed serious. Explain to them the *need* that is fulfilled when Y/you Dominate or submit, that the majority of T/those in this *community* are extremely bright educated People who have decided not to ignore a big part of themselves. Something most of the rest world cannot seem to do. Be honest with who they are, revel in their differences and delight in what makes them beautifully unique. Perhaps ..quietly, W/we can spread the word, that there is nothing evil or unbalanced about Safe, Sane and Consensual BDSM or D/s. That in fact, these can be some of the most healthy and loving relationships ever made, founded on Trust and Communication, with the ability to grow as needs and desires and boundaries change Perhaps the in your face type education is not always the wisest form of speaking up. Perhaps person by person W/we can indeed..make a difference in the way the *vanilla* world views this *alternative lifestyle*. Can BDSM or D/s ever be mainstreamed? Do W/we really want it to be? |
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