Oh, Emmers is a truly giddy gal... what fun I had on May 4th watching the Froo-Froo fest that was Lance on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire". I mean, I knew Lance has a lot of "yin" for his "yang", if you know what I'm sayin'... but wow. It's quite another thing to see it in action. I mean, although him getting the fastest finger question and realizing that he was right was possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen him do ("oh... oh.. oh! Oh! OH!" LMAO, awwwwww), it was probably also the gayest. But oh well. Gush first, laugh later. Speaking of which, Lance laughed a lot during this episode, and I just adore his laugh. So laugh on, kiddo.

He sure was excited to finally get into the hotseat, and I was so happy for him; I had the butterflies going in my stomach, I have to admit. I knew how much he was going to end up winning, but would he make *NSYNC look good? Or would he "um", "you know", and use his favourite words ("Mississippi" and "incredible") far too often? Only time would tell.

So he brought his mommy! How cute! Every time I see or hear her in action I remember that he probably got his cuteness directly from her. ("How are you, Mrs. Bass?" "Faaaaaaahhhhhne!" LOL, I could practically see her in a hoop-skirted ballgown and a bonnet, twirling a parasol as she said it. She's like twice my age and I still wanna pinch her cheeks. And her little boy's, too!)

I don't remember the exact wording of the questions (obsessive I might be, but not that obsessive), so I shall paraphrase....

$100--
(Q: according to a proverb, if you ask a silly question, what do you get? A: A silly answer)
I'm so happy when the Just Justin site is wrong in its info! (lol, j/k) I was really worried when it reported that Lance had even needed help on the $100 question, so I was pleasantly surprised to see him pull this one off himself. I mean, it was easy, true, but you never know...

$200--
(Q: If you order a bakers' dozen of something, how many do you get? A: 13)
"Well, I've heard of it, but ummmm..."
Oh dear. A bakers' dozen, Lance? A bakers' dozen??
Now, to be completely charitable to the albino, Ray answered for him too soon to know for sure if he had a fair idea of the answer. I mean, he might have gotten it right on his own in a second. But I cringed anyway. That's just one of those things you gotta know.
"And that's my final answer!" ::sh*t-eatin' grin::

$300--
(Q: A moat of a castle is usually spanned by what? A: A drawbridge)
Yay! He got the moat question. Boring. Moving on.

$500--
(Q: The term "yuppy" refers to young what? A: Urban professionals)
Oh dear, again. This was about the point where I began to hunt for something to throw at the screen. Again, because I love Lanth, I am going to be charitable. I've only heard the full term "young urban professional" once to explain what "yuppy" stands for, and I do remember that it was used a lot more often back in the early 80's before "yuppy" was as common a word as it is today. Soooooo (and don't nobody go shooting my theory down now), maybe it's okay that Lance didn't know what it was. He did make a cute save, though, and thank God for the audience, eh? ("I said 'urBAN' professionals! 'UrBAN!'")

$1000--
(Q: In the "Star Wars" trilogy, who does the voice of Darth Vader? A: James Earl Jones)
"Well, I love Star Wars...."
Yeah, you BETTAH damn well know the answer was James Earl Jones. Lance sounded pretty unsure to me. I almost caught a flight down to Jackson to deliver a beating personally for that. Don't you mess with Star Wars trivia, boy.

$2000--
(Q: What metal is commonly associated with a 50th wedding anniversary? A: Gold)
Okay, good, he got the golden anniversary question.
And the way he said, "D, gold" was kind of amusing.

$4000--
(Q: Which Mary Shelley novel bears the subtitle "The Modern Prometheus"? A: Frankenstein)
And the funny, thinking faces begin! Woo! :o) Good job on this question, Frankenstaaaahhhn.

$8000--
(Q: In the tv show "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper," what sport did Mr. Cooper play? A: Basketball)
Another easy one...

$16,000--
(Q: In the 1999 movie "The Insider", whistle-blower Jeffrey Wigand was an employee of what company? A: Brown & Williamson)
It pissed me off when the celebs had to use a lifeline before the $64,000 question, because they were supposed to have help, weren't they? Not fair. Where was Rosie on this one? Dana Carvey? Geez.
Then when Lance chose to use his 50/50 I nearly turned off the TV in protest, because he was so clearly torn between two answers and all I could remember was Rosie saying that when you do that, the producers will just leave the two answers that you were debating over in an effort to screw you... fortunately it worked out for him. Although I don't know why he ended up choosing Brown & Williamson (unless he was going with his least likely guess, in which case WAY TO GO POOFU! hehe). But hey, he got it. He gets to live.

$32,000--
(Q: Which of these actors was never a member of the real-life clergy? A: Steve Martin)
This wasn't a particularly easy one, and I was thinking Steve Martin, but I don't know if I would have hazarded a guess on my own (okay, I would have. Nevermind). So, I guess this was a smart enough move. I'm still pissed that he had to use a lifeline though. Rosie! You never helped!! :( Moving on.

Hehehe... I liked the way he said "monies" when he was describing his charity. Made him sound all intellectual and stuff, for all of two seconds.... The look on his face when he said that he loved touring was so intense that I literally got chills down my spine. Someday.... someday, I hope I can say the same.....

$64,000--
(Q: Which of the following reclusive authors' letters were auctioned off at Southebys for $156,500? A: JD Salinger)
Okay, why do I get the feeling that there was some editing going on here? What was so funny about Lance choosing JD Salinger? And who did he thank afterwards? I hate it when I know I missed stuff and I don't know what it was.

$125,000-- (Q: From what site did Charles Lindbergh begin his historic 1927 transatlantic flight? A: Roosevelt field)
Damned if I knew this one. But to be fair, we don't do much American history in Canada :). Who was it who liked the way he said "field" "feld"? I second that. Real cute.
Smart move calling his teacher. Although I must agree with I believe it was Ria, who said that the gay-ass salute was... well... gay.

"I have no lifelines left! Oh my gosh!"

$250,000--
(Q: On the 1925 debut cover of the New Yorker, what is the top-hatted male figure holding? A: A monocle)
Awwww.... poor child.... he was really buggin' over this one. I suppose I shouldn't have found his frustration so adorable, but... I did. I mean... the faces! LOL. Lance, you knew it, you really knew it.... when he held up his hand, he was clearly holding it as if he was holding a monacle... I was like "awww, Lance, you're SO close!"

"$125,000 would be very good for Challenge for the Children," says Lance of the Incredibly Gay Hand Gestures, "so..." ::making an incredibly gay hand gesture:: "I'm just gonna stop it there."

But I'm glad he knew when to walk :). Good boy. You did all right. Gimme some sugah.

Just an addendum... even up in the audience he was cute, looking for the thingy to participate in the audience poll for Ray. I'll bet he knew that one, too... since he's from Mississippi, after all.....

So I happen upon the pic at the bottom of the page, and I begin to drool profusely. Oh, did I say drool? No, no, no, I mean, I began to say some things that I shouldn't have, coupled with some thoughts that I shouldn't have, either. But the over-riding impression that I got from the below picture was, "Lance looks like the Littlest Hobo." Now, who the hell is the Littlest Hobo, you ask? "The Littlest Hobo" was a cheesy 80's series (and really, what TV series from the 80's wasn't cheesy?) that aired here in Canada, about a German Shepherd who didn't have an owner or a name, but roamed the country doing good deeds for people. You know, reuniting estranged family members, dragging unconscious drivers from burning wrecks of cars with his teeth... that sort of thing. And at the end of every episode he'd just run away and move on. It should have been called "Little Orphan Lassie". But I digress.

The point being, I looked at this picture, and my thought process was somewhat as follows:

Lance looks like a hobo.
Lance is PooFu.
PooFu is a dog.
Hey, the Littlest Hobo is a dog.
Lance is pretty little.
Oh my gosh, Lance is the Littlest Hobo!

Okay, so that was pretty random, but basically, this is how my mind works. So now whenever I see this pic, I envision Lance travelling the countryside, no home or ties, mutely ravelling himself in strangers' lives... reuniting estranged families... dragging unconscious drivers from burning wrecks of cars with his teeth......... okay, this analogy isn't working all that well. You know what I mean.