In The News:

Ok, last time I checked, one isn't supposed to bomb the country you are trying to negotiate with. What is this, Mr. President? Is it some new kind of negotiating tactic? I can see the slogan now, "Give Peace a Chance.....or ELSE!"

I wish I had that kind of power. My boss doesn't want to give me a raise? BOMB HIS HOUSE! My teacher gives me an "F" on the term paper? BOMB HIS OFFICE! The book I ordered three weeks ago hasn't come in yet? LATER, BOOKSTOP!... You get the idea.

The funny thing is that we are taught throughout our youth that fighting doesn't solve anything... Except in politics. This is great, you know? All I have to do to get back at all of those guys who picked on me in high school is just be elected president.... Then bomb them!

Is President Clinton just sufferring from some kind of inferiority complex? Just because he is the first President to ever get caught fooling around in the oval orafice (oops, typo?) Hey, Bill, while you are at it, the whole NAFTA thing needs a boost. Let's do some "peace keeping" in Canada and Mexico. Come to think of it, those damn Central Americans are starting to get a little ancy, why not "negotiate" down there, too? Cuba needs a good "negotiation", as well as most, if not all, of Europe. You know, Bill, Greenland is getting a little too big for its britches. Let's give some comeuppance to our neighbors to the north.

I'm sure if President Clinton had his druthers, he would "negotiate" the hell out of congress. I have an idea, just send a few overweight senators to evaluate the hunger problem in Ethiopia. Oh, wait, Regan beat you to that one. But, I'm sure a crowd of starving Ethiopians could eliminate a few fat congressmen with few or no questions asked. Just drop them from a plain with sacks of flour.

Just do me a favor, Mr. President. I voted for you. So, if you ever want to negotiate with me, give me a chance to RUN!!