Poetry has always been one of man's greatest achievements. It is a way to make even the dumbest words sound beautiful. Women, let me ask you a question. Which of these two men would you date: the guy who says, "Your eyes are green."; or, the guy who says, "Your sparkling orbs, like emeralds plucked from the warm boosom of the earth, do twinkle in the tempestuous stratosphere of my heart." The second one, right?

LIAR!!

I say that stuff, and so do a lot of other men, and you don't pay us a bit of attention. What really attracts (most) women is MONEY. Cold, hard, cash. Poetry doesn't mean a thing to a woman if it isn't accompanied by a Mercedes and a diamond ring the size of South Dakota.

Now, don't get your panties in a wad, I'm not saying that all women are money grubbing gold diggers. I'm just saying that a romantic soul and an excellent grasp of the English language has no chance against a fifty-foot yacht and a private jet.

There are five women I know that are exceptions to this rule. You know who you are. A word to the others, "Antidisestablishmentarianism."

So, to you five, I will love and cherish you always. To all of the others, go find Donald Trump and leave me alone!!