|
GROUP
1: Bubblegum Crisis
BGC
- Your computer crashes when you play rock and roll
DD
- If you fall asleep or pass out while using your computer, it
will take over your body, attack viciously anyone who tries to
stop it and finally go kaboom leveling an entire city.
Nene
- Your computer eats every disk placed in its A: drive (also
known as the "Rumy Virus")
Mackie
- Variant of Hentai
Mason
- Every time you kill this virus and think it is gone, it
comes back. (Variant: Largo)
Priss
- Computer attempts to increase the speed of CPU. If user
tries to stop this, computer will slap female users in the
face and kick male users in the groin.
Sylia
- Computer outputs only cryptic remarks
GROUP
2: RANMA 1/2
Akane
- It will cause your speakers to yell 'BAAAAAKAAAAA' at the
highest volume whenever you do something wrong
Akane-2
- Large mallet pops from top of computer and attacks.
Akane-3
- It will automatically execute a command that will make the
screen shift into various colors and hues while belching and
vomiting noises can be heard from your speakers
Azusa
- Gives all your files French names.
Cologne
(Co Long) - Your 286 computer calls you 'son-in-law' and
schemes behind your back with your brand new Pentium, which
begins to say 'Nihao!' whenever you turn it on.
Genma
- A pesky one; each time you run a debug, virus scan or
diagnosis program, the computer will display a large panda
face with an oblivious "I didn't do it" face.
Gemma-2
- Allows you to take the CPU out and have the computer still
function.
Gosenkugi
- It tries to voodoo you into getting it upgrades. Whenever
your computer crashes, there's an annoying voice going 'please
don't hurt me.' And as an added bonus if there's an image
recorder attatched to your computer, it will secretly take
pictures of you and toss them randomly onto the WWW
Happosai
- Your computer yells 'Panty! Panty!' every time you show up
if you're a girl and begins to trash your files if you're a
guy.
Kasumi
- Computer stares blankly at you, even when disaster strikes.
Kenchan
- Your computer will constantly change from Mac, to PC, to
Commodore, to UNIX, to....
Kirin
- It crashes if left too long in DOS Prompt spweing out
'W-W-Windows!' every few minutes
Kodachi
- Fanatical laughter comes out of your computer
Kodachi-2
- Out of thin air materialize black rose petals which clog
your computer's ventilation.
Kouchou
- Your computer attempts to cut your hair (english variant:
Principal).
Kuno
- Your computer occasionally quotes Shakespeare
Laichi
- If you leave your computer idle for too long, a voice from
your speakers will blare at you telling you to pay attention!
Nabiki
- Computer will allow you access to your files for a fee.
Panda-san
- System messages appear in signs while unintelligble growling
is heard from the speaker. (aka Genma-3)
Pantyhose
- When splashed with cold water, your operating system becomes
part DOS, part UNIX, part Windows, and part MAC!
Phoenix
Egg - It will constantly call the motherboard 'mama' while
making holes in it. It can eventually grow and squeeze out all
the data on your HD
Soun
- Every time a disk or system error occurs, your computer will
sob and wail.
Ranma
- Your PC turns into a Mac when splashed with cold water (or
vice versa)
Ranma
girl-type Sweet Womanhood - Your PC turns into a MAC, then
doesn't believe that it ever was a PC and eschews all the
principles of PCness.
Ryoga
- Your hard drive just runs and runs and runs...
Ryoga-2
- Your DOS propmt becomes ?:\?, and you change directories at
random.
Ryouga3
- Whenever you try to delete a file, it reappears in the same
place
Ryoga
Network - "Server not found."
Dr.
Tofu - Your computer crashes when Kasumi appears
Toma
- Whenever you try to run an application for more than ten
minutes, your computer says 'This is boring' and promptly
crashes.
Tsubasa
- Your computer changes into a traffic sign
Ukyo
- Your computer force-feeds you okonomiyaki; if you refuse to
eat, it whaps you with a huge spatula
GROUP
3: GENERAL
Akira
- Your CPU accelerates into the next generation of processors
(Pentium if 486, 486 if 386, etc) and then blows up and
destroys the building.
Akira-2
- Your computer condenses all your files and then displays
them so as to make them completely unintelligible
Arctic
Animation - Lowers your monitor resolution and drops every
fifth word from your text files.
Area
88 - Your Computer loses its will to be a simple, calculating
device, and instead decides it wants to be a Cuisinart
Armitage
- Your computer is never, ever happy
Ataru
- Your hard drive runs faster when there's a girl in the room
Bastard!
- Computer only works when turned on by a virgin
Cherry
- Your computer gives you a premonition of doom before
crashing
City
Hunter - Can't run any work-related program without constantly
flashing nude pictures on the screen.
C-ko
- Your computer just whines and whines
C-ko2
- Breaks down loudly and irritatingly when it's not leaving
bottle caps in your spreadsheets.
Crying
Freeman - Deletes everything in all disk drives, then weeps.
Dirty
Pair - Accidentally destroys your house in the process of
taking out your hard drive
Eimi
- Your computer blows up when it overheats
El
Hazard - A strange, porpised-headed furry thing jumps out of
your computer when you try to access a "help" file
End
of Summer - Will keep going back and forth between the floppy
and hard drives when you're trying to get to the CD-ROM.
Evangelion
- Your computer gives you Absolute Terror then goes berserk
F3
- Your computer won't come
Fist
of North Star - Your computer attacks your hard drive and 10
seconds later it explodes
Fireflies
- Your computer becomes hopelessly depressed and stops
working. If you have a good soundblaster card, you can hear
audible weeping.
Gall
Force - Your computer feels a strange urge to take a shower
every, say, five minutes or so
Gallforce2
- Your PC mysteriously becomes impregnated with some Mac
language.
Ghost
in the Shell - Your computer exposes its hard drive and then
makes it disappear
Hentai
- Deletes everything except GIF and JPEG files
Hentai-2
- This Virus messes with your video card so as to make it
display only those little sailor-suits on your monitor
Iczelion
- See C-ko virus definition
Iczer
- Your computer sporadically warps out of real space into
another dimension, then back, then out, then ...
Iria
- Your CD-ROM drive begins to spit out weird looking CD's with
evil faces on them
Jinnai
- Your computer takes root
Jinnai-2
- Laughs like an asylum refugee while threatening to take over
your HD. When it tries to do so, it fails miserably...
Junta
(DNA^2) - Bursts into retching or gas when certain picture
files are diplayed.
Karin
Aoi (DNA^2) - Uses the wrong anti-virus program on the wrong
drive.
Kekko
- Your computer always takes off its cover before it starts
working.
Kiki
- Your hard drive flies away and makes itself home in another
town
Kiki2
- Goes slightly awry while trying to transfer files.
KOR
- Only affects computers with two hard drives. You must choose
one; the other one crashes
Lufy
- Your computer kicks your ass every time you switch it on
Lum
- Your computer shocks you whenever you look at another
computer
Macek
- All your system messages are subbed into
incomprehensibility.
Macross:DYRL
- Turns your sound card into the most powerful weapon in the
universe
Macross
Plus - Attempts to hack itself while playing sound files.
Macross
7 - Your computer only accepts a guitar as an input device
Magical
Girls - Your hard drive disappears when your pinkie touches
the keyboard
Maison
Ikkoku - Slows to a crawl at the slightest sign of noise,
stress or attractive young widows.
MD
Geist - Looks like a virus checking program but crashes your
hard drive in the end
Mihoshi
- AKA Windows '95
Misty
Mae - Once "delete" is pressed, the hard drive
decides it likes "deleting" so much that it deletes
ALL your files. (And then blows up your computer)
Mighty
Space Miners - Your computer reveals to you that it has a
small, nuclear device imbedded in the hard drive
Miyazaki
- Your computer becomes God (variant: Tezuka)
Miyu
- Your computer attempts to bite you.
Ninja
Scroll - Actually a virus checker, distirbuted along with the
eight worst viruses known to man. After a lengthy struggle,
during which some random yet extremely important files get
trashed, the eight viruses are destroyed. Then the virus
checker refuses to work for you.
Ohmu
- Your computer goes out of control when you swat a fly
Ohta
- Your hard drive attacks your mother-board every time it's
accessed
Otaku
no Video - Your computer realizes how obsolete it REALLY is.
:)
Patlabor
- Your computer connects to the nearest network and a) Version
1.0: crashes every system b) Version 2.0: creates false files
and creates viruses in other computers.
Project
A-ko - Your A: and B: drives fight over your C: drive
Rei
Rei - Will only operate by pulling your face up between the
CPU and monitor, and leave magic powder on your floppies
Riiqunni
- Your computer will not boot unless you first pause to say
grace with it. Also replaces that nifty BGC screensaver with
religious messages.
Robotech
- Combination of the Macross, Southern Cross, and Mospeda
viruses
Ryunosuke
- Your PC insists it's a Mac (or vice versa)
Ryo-Oh-Ki
- So overly kawaii small furry animals appear on the screen
that users teeth start to decay.
Sailor
Moon - Similar to Cko virus. Your computer starts whining then
throws your hard drive at you
Samurai
- Your computer crashes in the presence of a naked woman
Sandor
- Turns all your computer's peripherals into bombs
Sanyijan
- The Hard Drive sucks your soul and makes you immortal.
Sharon
Apple - Your computer develops a sense of survival and tries
to wipe you out
StarBlazers
- Every time your computer locks up, the power supply releases
a HUGE burst of energy to jolt it back online
Streamline
- This virus changes the text in all your files into total
garbage and adds and deletes sentences from them at random
Streamline2
- Phrases all your text files to read like radio ads.
Tatarigami
- Short tentacle-like 'worms' grow out from your computer, and
it runs amok destroying everything in its path.
Tenchi
- Your computer become indecisive and attracts strange files
U-doji
- Your computer grows tentacles. Byuck.
Urotsukidoji
- You are safe if you are a male user; if female, run.
Urotsukidoji
III - Chops out large portions of normal operation until
you're left with almost nothing but horrible crashes.
Urusei
Yatsura - Your computer does weird things but makes you laugh
Video
Girl Ai - Your computer tries to access the A: drive which is
busy trying to access the B: drive. Your C: drive then tries
to help the computer which then accesses the C: drive instead
at which point the C: drive crashes
Yotsuya
- Makes a hole in your hard drive
You're
Under Arrest - Your hard drive jumps out of your computer and
speeds down the highway
|
