You Might be in the Army if...

from YouMightBe.com

 

hoah! is your answer to every question in life.

you make your kids pull fireguard and cq. 

your family's favorite hair style is a high and tight. 

you wont let your wife go to the px because the laundry room failed inspection. 

you have a perimeter set up around your house that even rambo wouldn't want to full with. 

your kids weekend pass status is determined by their pt scores. 

you see no problem with wearing BDU's to church. 

"lights out" is at 2100 hrs every night. 

you make your kids fill out a sick call slip when they stay home from school. 

smoking has two meanings for you. 

your kids can do the 15 count inspection arms in their sleep. 

you place sector stakes on the front porch. 

when camping, your family must dig a defelade for your RV. 

your kids must clear housing when they leave for college. 

your baby's first words are "All ok, Jumpmaster!" 

your kids must perform ten pull-ups before entering the dining room. 

your wife's favorite lipstick colors are loam and light green. 

your car is held together by 550 cord. 

you refer to your son as Boy, Steven Type, 1 Each. 

all of your kids sentences contain at least 7 F words. 

when "dig in and do the work" really means DIG. 

when "We are in this together" means you go first. 

when "We will Win easily" means you go first. 

when "understrength enemy" means you go first. 

when "Victory is near" means you go first. 

when "Rations have arrived" you go last. 

you think it is perfectly normal to jump out of an airplane at 800 ft. at 2 in the morning 

you say to your wife "what's for chow" or "honey that was real good chow" 

any kids in your neighborhood wear a beret when they go out to play 

edge the sidewalk in front of your house with an E-Tool 

your nicest set of clothes is your "Class A's" 

you cut the grass in a set of jungle boots, Army PT shirt, and cut off BDUs. 

you dread someone saying "I'm from the IG and I'm help." 

everytime you hang up the phone you say "Out" instead of "Bye." 

you have more sets of BDUs than civilian clothes. 

you annoy your family with your favorite cadences. 

your dog's name is Ranger. 

you look forward to getting your clothing allowance each year so you can actually shop a little. 

you own more pairs of combat boots than all of your shoes combined. 

you spend your spare time polishing your boots. 

you go bowling with your buddies and as each person goes you yell, "Fire in the hole!!" 

you view going to the field as a camping vacation from work. 

your family eats MREs. 

your family thinks nothing's wrong when you've been gone for at least a month. 

you think waking up at 7am in sleeping in. 

your family's best friends are in the Army too. 

you can't tell your parents what you do for a living because it's classified. 

you jump for joy when you have a few extra bucks after paying the bills so you can get groceries. 

you tell little kids playing hide-and-seek that it would work better in BDUs. 

your stomach can't handle "real food" anymore, only MREs and T-Rats. 

you can't understand the fascination people have with being able to drive HUM-Vs around and playing with guns.