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you eat frozen pizza without microwaving it. ( you can cook those things? )
you use a stapler to adjust the length of your trousers.
you get your furniture out of the clean up pile and then brag about how it didn't cost you a thing.
you sniff your underwear to see if you can get by just one more day without doing the wash.
you actually use the following link: How to Get a date
your refrigerator is packed full of tupperware dishes filled with molded smelly food because you just don't want to wash them.
you've bought the Ziploc disposable plasticware so that you won't have to wash containers with molded food.
you open a food container in the frige to see what it is but can't, and then you smell it and it knocks you unconscious.
the only thing that snuggles next to you in bed is your dog and/or cat.
you actually have money in your savings account.
you bought clean guest towels 3 years ago and they are still hanging up, unused.
you haven't cooked in so long you've forgotten where things are in your kitchen and what buttons to use on the stove.
you own a home, but behave like an apartment dweller
you've often wondered how many empty pizza boxes constitutes a collection.
the only kitchen appliance you know how to use is the microwave.
you have a disproportionate number of plastic utensils and paper plates vs. real silverware and plates.
you haven't eaten a meal at home that wasn't in a disposable container.
you don't know how to take out the trash.
you have to look to see how clean your apartment is and not how full your calendar is to decide when to go out on a date.
you smell your clothes to see if you can wear them (again).
you can clean engine parts in the bathtub without someone yelling at you.
you buy a really big trashcan for the kitchen so you don't have to take it out as often.
you amuse yourself by lobbing beercans so that they bounce off the wall before hitting aforementioned trash can.
it takes you ten minutes every six months to buy new clothes (Let's see, I'm out of jeans, white T-shirts, black T-shirts, and socks..)
you don't feel compelled to wear underwear unless you have a date that night.
you car gets waxed more often than the toilet gets cleaned.
you belch and fart in public without apologizing.
you turn your socks and underwear inside out so you can wear them twice as long.
you have the pizza place on speed dial.
instead of cleaning for guests, you just keep the lights low.
paper towels double as dishes.
BEER is the freshest item in the fridge.
...beer is the ONLY item in the fridge.
you never listen to your messages when a female is around
your entire house is trashed except for you entertainment center, which you lovingly polish every day
If cooking anything longer than five minutes is a waste of time
The last time you cleaned the house was when you moved in
A dress shirt is "fine" if it only has one or two wrinkles in it
You think you left your tie on the nightstand...or was it the closet?
You don't feel guilty about leaving the lid up
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