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I love cats ... they taste just like chicken
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Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer
in public schools
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Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
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Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
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Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let
her sleep
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I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... ...
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers
in his car ...
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MONTANA -- At least our cows are sane!
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain
to be a vegetarian.
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Your kid may be an honor student but you're still
an IDIOT!
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It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to
get you.
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When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case
heaven is like the IRS.
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Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with
your lips.
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Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
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Wink, I'll do the rest!
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I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
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When there's a will, I want to be in it!
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If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are
they made of meat?
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Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all
its students!
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It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
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Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy
comes from!
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Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using
Your Turn Signal !
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Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they
appear.
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We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things
get worse.
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Always remember you're unique, just like
everyone else.
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone,
somewhere may be happy.
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i souport publik edekasion
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The sex was so good that even the neighbors
had a cigarette.
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We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will
Be Assimilated.
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Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing
home.
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3 kinds of people: those who can count & those
who can't.
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Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till
you can find a rock.
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2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
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I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working
with subatomic particles.
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I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
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Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
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