| 1.)
Admit that you have a problem. The best way to do this is to
compare your storage space (dwindling due to acquisition of
anime-related merchandise) and your account balance (dwindling due
to acquisition of anime-related merchandise).
2.) Confront your
problem in the most horrible way possible. In this case, have a
soon-to-be-ex-friend strap you into a chair, and put the little
eyelid thingies (from _A Clockwork Orange_) on you so you can't
escape, then start the 72-hour Streamline dub marathon and leave.
3.) Remove the
offending material--out of sight, out of mind. Tear down all
lifesize Belldandy posters. Melt your prized Kiki cels into new
and interesting sculpture. Record over your pristine collection of
S-VHS 1950s giant robot shows, preferably with something like
"Family Matters". Use your laserdisc collection to play
Frisbee Catch with the Great Dane in your backyard.
4.) Shun (isn't
that Mitaka-coach's name?) all those who would lead you into
temptation. If you catch a glimpse of anything animated, do
penance by watching old episodes of "Saved By The Bell".
5.) Denounce the
culture and nation which brought you anime. Watch Saban's "VR
Troopers" or "Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad" to
remind yourself how evil Japan is.
6.) Burn that used
sailor fuku you acquired a while back, you ecchi.
7.) Learn Sanskrit
to drive all acquired syllables of Japanese from your brain.
8.) Renounce Inoue
Kikuko, and turn in your honorary Hitoshi Doi badge.
9.) When someone
says "convention", force yourself to think of large
gatherings of boring people in suits selling kitchen appliances.
10.) Rename all of
your pets. We KNOW they're named after anime characters. For the
truly far gone, rename all of your children as well.
11.) Move. Do not
give forwarding addresses to friends, associates, or AnimEigo.
12.) Drop off the
Internet. It will only lead you to such catastrophes as IRC or
AnimeMUCK! Become a hermit. Grow old in solitude. Die. |
