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But everybody looks funny naked !
You woke me up for that ?
Did I mention the video camera ?
Do you smell something burning ?
(in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
Try breathing through your nose.
A little rug burn never hurt anyone !
Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
But whipped cream makes me break out.
Person 1: This is your first time...right ? Person 2: Yeah... today
(in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour !
Can you please pass me the remote control ?
Do you accept Visa ?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
And to think - I was really trying to pick up your friend !
So much for mouth-to-mouth.
(using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay ?
Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
(holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo !
Do you get any premium movie channels ?
Try not to smear my make-up, will ya !
(preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
Got any penicillin ?
But I just brushed my teeth...
Smile, you're on Candid Camera !
I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs !
I want a baby !
So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies !
(in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work ?
Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
Did you know the ceiling needs painting ?
I think you have it on backwards.
When is this supposed to feel good ?
Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs !
You're good enough to do this for a living !
Is that blood on the headboard ?
Did I remember to take my pill ?
Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere ?
I wish we got the Playboy channel...
That leak better be from the waterbed !
I told you it wouldn't work without batteries !
But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed ?
If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
No, really... I do this part better myself !
It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate !
This would be more fun with a few more people..
You're almost as good as my ex !
Do you know the definition of statutory rape ?
Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten tomatoes ?
You look younger than you feel.
Perhaps you're just out of practice.
You sweat more than a galloping stallion !
They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
Now I know why he/she dumped you...
Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun ?
You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
What tampon ?
Have you ever considered liposuction ?
And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner !
What are you planning to make for breakfast ?
I have a confession...
I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home !
Are those real or am I just behind the times ?
Were you by any chance repressed as a child ?
Is that a hanging sculpture ?
You'll still vote for me, won't you ?
Did I mention my transsexual operation ?
I really hate women who actually think sex means something !
Did you come yet, dear ?
I'll tell you who I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time !
Does this count as a date ?
Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you !
Hic! I need another beer for this please.
I think biting is romantic- don't you ?
Q: You can cook, too right ? A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)
When would you like to meet my parents?
Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like... Woman: Yourself?
Have you seen "Fatal Attraction" ?
Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
(in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls ?
I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light ?
Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
Sorry but I don't do toes !
You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it !
Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".
So that's why they call you MR. Flash !
My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer !
Is this a sin too ?
I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain !
Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn ?
Long kisses clog my sinuses...
Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
How long do you plan to be "almost there" ?
You mean you're NOT my blind date ?
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