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You can speak intelligently in Japanese about
spirits, demons, war, death, tournaments, magic, and
profoundly soppy love affairs, but the prospect of
buying a movie ticket leaves you tongue-tied.
"Hai," "baka," and "hentai"
come to your lips so easily that sometimes you have
difficulty remembering what the English words are.
None of your friends study Japanese, but thanks
to you, they all have 50-word vocabularies.
...and if they used them in front of their moms,
they'd get their mouths washed out with soap.
You go native, to the point of buying Japanese
rice in 20-pound bags and clearing all of the
furniture out of your living room so you can sit on
the floor.
It's 3 am, and you and your best friend are on
the brink of a fistfight over whether Ranma-chan or
Ranma-kun is cuter.
You have a Ranma outfit.
...and so does your significant other.
You're keeping an eye on your little sister for
signs of slacking off during school, making eyes at
the school's only bishonen, and disappearing
suspiciously often for "slumber parties,"
because if she becomes a magic girl, you want in on
the action.
Your friends stage an intervention.
...but only because they want your tapes.
Some poor ex-mugger still hears the words "LEKKA
SHINEN!" in his nightmares.
You never bothered getting your new apartment
hooked up to cable, and even Babylon 5 is a
take-it-or-leave-it thing... but anyone who gets in
the way of your mission to get the next Slayers
volume is dead.
Only, if you'd written the last sentence, you
would have worded it, ``Anyone who gets in my way is
Nakago.''
You've contemplated growing your hair long so
that you can put it up in dumplings.
...and you're a guy.
You feel like less of a woman because you can't
put away 5,000 calories in one sitting.
You're despondent because your chances to become
an anime heroine are completely shot--you can cook.
You refer to 21 as "over the hill,"
and get more depressed the closer that day comes;
you're not ready to join the forces of evil, dammit!
It's not a bad hair day, it's a Zelgadis hair
day.
Your parents draw you aside and ask you whether
you're a Satanist, since all of those symbols you
practice drawing in your notebooks look awfully
suspicious to them.
Your kids think that cartoons are supposed to
have writing at the bottom.
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