Bill Gates, camels, and a team of super-human genetic goons:
the truth is out there.
 

Of all the great mysteries in this modern, frightening, and very large universe, those, whose surreptitiousness exceeds all, are rarely addressed. As we go about our hum-drum lives each day, a new puzzle arises, is solved by a team of Microsoft super-human genetic goons (which, as I type, has hacked into my MS Word processing program and is currently discussing the rate at which my body can perform an illegal operation and thus be forced to terminate) and their fearless fuhrer, Bill Gates; and hastily covered up. (I’m not making this up!) Sadly the American people remain clueless. So what else is new?

 And so, I take it upon myself to pick up where the “X-files” left off. Mostly because, Chris Carter won’t give you answers. Let’s face it, all he can give his television viewers can be summed up in three words: To be continued…

 Below is my LIST OF CRYPTICNESS (all caps cause I can): in order and categorized by up-most importance, applicable if and only if y is the square root of c divided by pi. Get involved: talk to your kids, your orthopedist, your dog!

LIST OF CRYPTICNESS

1. Sally the camel had how many humps and why were they surgically removed?
2. Why do they call ‘em animal crackers when they’re really cookies?
3. What do the words ‘micro’ and ‘soft’(when surgically attached) add up to?

The answer to the final question is, of course, 40 billion dollars, but you knew that.