Some funny jokes are below. None of them are really offensive, I made sure of that. If you have a joke of your own to submit, please email me and tell me.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Patient: During my operation, Nurse, I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word that upset me very much.
Nurse: What word was that?
Patient: "Oops!"

ACTS 2:38!!!
The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops.
When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady:
"How did you do this?"
The woman replied:
"I quoted scripture."
The cop turned the burglar:
"What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?"
The burglar replied:
"Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an axe and two 38's."