What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
 An interpreter.

 What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
 A mental block.

What's brown and red and black and blue?
 A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

 Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
 So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

 How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
 She fell out of the tree.

 What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
 A thought.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: "What's a light bulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over to the side of the road. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde "Stand in the circle and DON'T MOVE!". He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around, she had a slight grin on her face, so he said "Oh, you think that's funny? Watch this." He got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in her car. When he turned and looked at her, she had a smile on her face. So he was really starting to get mad. He went and got his knife back out and sliced up all her tires. The blonde started laughing and the truck driver was really starting to lose it. He went back to his truck and got a can of gas, poured it on her car and set it on fire. He turned around and she was laughing so hard, she was about to fall down. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "When you weren't looking I stepped outside the circle 4 times!"

 How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
 Shine a flashlight in her ear!

 Why is it harder to make a blonde snowman, compared to a brunette snowman?
 You have to hollow out the head!

 What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

 What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.

 How do you know that a blonde has sent you a fax?
 There's a stamp in the corner of the fax!

 Why won't pharmacists hire blondes as secrataries?
 They keep on breaking those bottles in the typewriter!

 A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!" The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three" and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said "I think I'm the most talented of us three" and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

 Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.
Who picks it up?
None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

 If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
 The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

 What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
 Her IQ goes up!

 What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
 Bigfoot has been spotted.

 Why do blondes have square boobs?
 Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

 What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
 Change.

 Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
 Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

 Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
 Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

 Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
 They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

 What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
 A Space Invader.

 What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
 The back of her head.

 Why do blondes drive VW's?
 Because they can't spell PORSCHE!

 Why did God create blondes?
 Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Why do blondes like lightning?
 They think someone is taking their picture.

 What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
 Air bubbles.

 What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
 An air mattress.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
A3: So men can understand them.

 What do you call a smart blonde?
 A golden retriever.

 Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
 Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

 How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
 You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

 Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
 She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.

 What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
 Last year's hide and seek champ.

 What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
 An air bag.

How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Tuesday!

 What do you call a blonde who lives in Alaska?
Frosted Flake.

 Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
 To turn the blinker off.

 Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

 What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
 Retardo.

 What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
 A visitor.

 Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
 They keep breaking them with the hammers.

 Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
 Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

 When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
 When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

 How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
 Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

 Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
 She missed.

 Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
 It finally dawned on her.

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was...

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this the other blonde replied "I know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."

 Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
 They don't know the route.

 Why do blondes work seven days a week?
 So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

 How does a blonde commit suicide?
 She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

 How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
 Wave to her.

 How do you confuse a blonde?
 You don't. They're born that way.

 What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
 Lipstick.

 What does a blonde owl say?
 What, what?

 Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
 From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

 Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
 In case she locks the keys in her car.

 Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
 So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

 Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
 Because she loved children.

What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
 Third Grade.

 What is the definition of gross ignorance?
 144 blondes.

 Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
 It swells at night.

 What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
 She moved.

 What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
 A blonde parade.

 Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
 They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

 Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
 She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

 How do you drive a blonde crazy?
 Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.

 What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
 Proofreading.

 How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
 (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?
 Rebel without a clue.

 Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
 She didn't know what ONE came first...

 How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
 Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

 Why did the blonde fail her drivers licence ?
 She wasn't used to the front seat!