The Secrets We Leave Behind

Disclaimer: Earth: Final Conflict is the property of Tribune Entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.

I woke up this morning in a daze, thinking, hoping really, that I was somewhere else. My sheets were like sand-paper, and I…well I don’t know what I was. I was someone else entirely.

I sat in bed for a while under the artificial lamp light, hoping something unbidden would send me back to sleep. Then I hoped something would happen that would wake me up entirely.

It was Liam on the other side. “Heh Angelica.” He said in his often casual manner. “I knew you would be awake.” He looked at me solemnly, his silver hair glowing under whatever loose illumination he sat.

I tried to maintain the calmness in my voice, the relaxation, and the lack of strain. “The question is Liam, why is such an old man like yourself bashing around at such a late hour?”

“The same thing your doing.” He said. “Thinking about Renee.”

I rubbed my forehead and leaned back as far as I could into bed, without actually laying down. “It isn’t worth it, this late night contemplation your so fond of doing. And, you and I both know it isn’t what she would have wanted, you feeling sorry for her all the time.” I paused. “I am her daughter you know.”

I laughed a little despite my darker thoughts. Liam Kincaid could always, and I think will always, make me laugh.

Liam turned serious on me again. “She’s been gone for ten years tomorrow.”

I curled my fingers through my hair, trying to distract myself. “She would be happy I think.” I said, something choking me in the back of my throat. It wasn’t sorrow. I wish it was. “Earth is free. The Taelons

I wasn’t in the mood. I wanted to silence him, to send him to sleep with some voodoo I’m sure I could learn. “I’m sure she knew.”

He nodded. She died from cancer. From Taelon radiation: that’s why he blamed them, and for other things I guess.

I was too young to remember them really. I just remember the feeling of what they were to me, as an individual.

I grinned, trying to look…oh I don’t know excited. “Sure. Where and when?”

I stood up and walked over to the window, because obviously, sleep wasn’t an option. It had been quite a pass-time of mine to seek out the stars. I had wanted to be an astronaut once. Unfortunately for me, humanity seemed to afraid to leave its own backyard anymore. All I wanted, was to find where I belonged.

I found myself staring into the abyss of bright sky. The city is so bright, I don’t think I’ve ever really seen stars as they were intended to be seen.

Sometimes, in a moment, I see a basking hole in space. It’s not an actual physical anomaly. It’s empty space where a vast Mothership once floated upon nothingness. And then everything I’ve lost is bigger than life.

I met Liam at the Supper club. It was a full house that night. It could have been a hundred, or a million for that matter, I don’t think I was capable of noticing. We drank small tasteful drinks with bright neon umbrellas for an hour watching the countless people glide across the dance floor. None of them would ever be like me, and I would never be like them.

I knew Liam could understand if only he knew what I could never tell him. None of us ever could. What would we become after all?

He lead me out to the floor, and took me in his arms. The funny thing is, I don’t remember my feet even touching that counterfeit floor.

The saddest song was playing, like the sound of dying wind. I found myself clutching his shoulders with an iron grip.

“No I’m not.” I whispered. I could feel the water accumulating on my face, and the weakness settling on my limbs.

He stood back from me, and held my shoulders so lightly…”What’s wrong Angel. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

I tried to wipe the mutinous tears from my face. “It’s just the song Liam.” I tried to say. “…Just the song.”

“I just need to freshen up.” I said, and made my way towards the Ladies room.

Fortunately it was empty so I locked the door. I couldn’t imagine that Liam hadn’t even suspected. I cowered in a far corner, waiting to cry, or to scream, or to anything.

I held out my palms in front of me, and watched them glow with the bright light of my shaquaravah’s power.

They had almost betrayed me tonight. I had almost betrayed myself to one of my finest friend’s.

For all that I had endured it was not the death of my mother which had lead me to tears. Yes, I loved her! But, she didn’t leave me on purpose.

It was the Taelons I could never forgive. For them I would cry, and cry, until there were no more tears to be wrought. I could never forget, and would live with the knowledge engrained on ever fiber of my being that I had been betrayed by the Taelons.

Tell the blasted Synod that. Where are you now Da’an when I need you? You’re gone.


	The Secrets We Leave Behind Rating: PG Disclaimer: Earth: Final Conflict is the property of Tribune Entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. I woke up this morning in a daze, thinking, hoping really, that I was somewhere else. My sheets were like sand-paper, and I…well I don’t know what I was. I was someone else entirely. I sat in bed for a while under the artificial lamp light, hoping something unbidden would send me back to sleep. Then I hoped something would happen that would wake me up entirely. My global started ringing. “Ms. Palmer here.” I responded. It was Liam on the other side. “Heh Angelica.” He said in his often casual manner. “I knew you would be awake.” He looked at me solemnly, his silver hair glowing under whatever loose illumination he sat. I tried to maintain the calmness in my voice, the relaxation, and the lack of strain. “The question is Liam, why is such an old man like yourself bashing around at such a late hour?” “The same thing your doing.” He said. “Thinking about Renee.” I rubbed my forehead and leaned back as far as I could into bed, without actually laying down. “It isn’t worth it, this late night contemplation your so fond of doing. And, you and I both know it isn’t what she would have wanted, you feeling sorry for her all the time.” I paused. “I am her daughter you know.” Liam grinned. “Nah. Senility hasn’t stole that memory…yet.” I laughed a little despite my darker thoughts. Liam Kincaid could always, and I think will always, make me laugh. Liam turned serious on me again. “She’s been gone for ten years tomorrow.” “You mean today.” I corrected him. He nodded. “Yes, I guess it is today.” I curled my fingers through my hair, trying to distract myself. “She would be happy I think.” I said, something choking me in the back of my throat. It wasn’t sorrow. I wish it was. “Earth is free. The Taelons are gone for good.” “She never got to see them leave.” He said. I wasn’t in the mood. I wanted to silence him, to send him to sleep with some voodoo I’m sure I could learn. “I’m sure she knew.” He nodded. She died from cancer. From Taelon radiation: that’s why he blamed them, and for other things I guess. I was too young to remember them really. I just remember the feeling of what they were to me, as an individual. “I really should get some sleep.” I said. Liam nodded. “How about we meet up tomorrow then?” I grinned, trying to look…oh I don’t know excited. “Sure. Where and when?” “Misha’s Supper Club. Seven P.M.” He said. I agreed, and he hung up. I stood up and walked over to the window, because obviously, sleep wasn’t an option. It had been quite a pass-time of mine to seek out the stars. I had wanted to be an astronaut once. Unfortunately for me, humanity seemed to afraid to leave its own backyard anymore. All I wanted, was to find where I belonged. That place wasn’t Earth, and that I knew. I found myself staring into the abyss of bright sky. The city is so bright, I don’t think I’ve ever really seen stars as they were intended to be seen. Sometimes, in a moment, I see a basking hole in space. It’s not an actual physical anomaly. It’s empty space where a vast Mothership once floated upon nothingness. And then everything I’ve lost is bigger than life. I wish this were only sadness. I met Liam at the Supper club. It was a full house that night. It could have been a hundred, or a million for that matter, I don’t think I was capable of noticing. We drank small tasteful drinks with bright neon umbrellas for an hour watching the countless people glide across the dance floor. None of them would ever be like me, and I would never be like them. I knew Liam could understand if only he knew what I could never tell him. None of us ever could. What would we become after all? “Liam, let’s dance.” I said. He lead me out to the floor, and took me in his arms. The funny thing is, I don’t remember my feet even touching that counterfeit floor. The saddest song was playing, like the sound of dying wind. I found myself clutching his shoulders with an iron grip. “Your crying Angel.” He said. “No I’m not.” I whispered. I could feel the water accumulating on my face, and the weakness settling on my limbs. “It’s alright to cry.” He said. “No!” I said, more harshly than I meant. He stood back from me, and held my shoulders so lightly…”What’s wrong Angel. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?” I tried to wipe the mutinous tears from my face. “It’s just the song Liam.” I tried to say. “…Just the song.” “Do you need to go..” “I just need to freshen up.” I said, and made my way towards the Ladies room. Fortunately it was empty so I locked the door. I couldn’t imagine that Liam hadn’t even suspected. I cowered in a far corner, waiting to cry, or to scream, or to anything. I held out my palms in front of me, and watched them glow with the bright light of my shaquaravah’s power. They had almost betrayed me tonight. I had almost betrayed myself to one of my finest friend’s. For all that I had endured it was not the death of my mother which had lead me to tears. Yes, I loved her! But, she didn’t leave me on purpose. It was the Taelons I could never forgive. For them I would cry, and cry, until there were no more tears to be wrought. I could never forget, and would live with the knowledge engrained on ever fiber of my being that I had been betrayed by the Taelons. Tell the blasted Synod that. Where are you now Da’an when I need you? You’re gone. You left me here, to cry my tears in loneliness. The End