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Moist ground soothes
my bare feet, the wetness blanketing my hot soles. I squish
the damp earth between my toes as I sit on a moss-dappled
rock. A quiet breeze sends little drafts of pine tinged air
to my twitching nose. The stream next to me plays it sweet
song, dancing around worn pebbles. Warm summer rays glitter
off the water, breaking the light into small shards of soft
yellow glass.
My thoughts wander
down that rolling stream, waving to and fro like a paper sailboat
caught in a swirling current. A slight smile touches my lips
as I remember times long past. The tranquil scene waivers
around my as I drown in my memories.
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"Grandpa",
the little girl cries. "Grandpa, where are you?"
"Right over here,
sweetheart", his voice replies.
She pushed old dead
brush out of her way to find him sitting right where she left
him. Her heart slowed back to a gentler rhythm, the frantic
pounding changing, but not yet gone. A small sigh left her
lips. She scampered over the smooth rocks to where he sat
with his fishing pole.
"I almost thought
I lost you!" her voice quivered a bit as she sat next
to him.
Laying the pole down,
he put his arm around her shoulders. Her nose drank in the
smells of wood smoke and Old Spice, bacon and the damp odor
of someone fishing. His plaid shirt cushioned her cheek, catching
her tears as she finally let the fear go.
"Oh, honey, I
could hear you rustling around in the brush, you never got
very far away from me. I'll never let you get far from me".
"I know you won't
lose me Grandpa", she smiled into his shirt as the last
of the panic drained away.
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She sat on the old
familiar stone her arms wrapped around her knees, her face
raised to the swollen sky. The spring rain flowed with her
tears, bearing her heart to the puddled ground below.
"Grandpa, I am
so lost", she whispered brokenly.
She gripped her knees
harder, trying to cradle the new life within her young body.
She had looked and looked for him here, hoping with every
fiber of her soul that she could find him.
She had known, deep
down, that she wouldn’t find him. He was dust by now,
bones cracking under the weight of the earth.
"You promised
you would never lose me. I need you so bad, please…",
she choked off the rest of her sobbing words.
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My mind found its way
back from time's twisting valleys. I am amazed that I couldn't
hear him before, all those years ago. His voice spoke to me
on the breeze teasing the trees.
"Grandpa, she's
ten now, would you believe it?" I tell him.
"I know you'll
never lose her either."
©1998, Christie
Benson
Writings
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