Damned Fool
I feel like such a god-damned fool
for allowing you inside
this fucking brain of mine to see
exactly what I hide.
For now that you take up space
in my shallow mind,
I find myself hoping and begging,
but what do I find?
I see that you simply do not feel
what I feel tonight.
And because it doesn't exist for you,
I end up having to fight
For each tiny morsel of attention
you decide is mine,
And screw the rest of what I need.
Well, ok, that's just fine.
I can play this fucking game
just as well as you.
But then I'll lose my best friend.
You haven't got a clue
Of what you're doing to my heart
and to my simple mind.
And so I'll stay away until
in your heart you find
A place where you can accept me
for who you know I am;
Until you realize I want you and
my efforts you don't slam;
Until you figure out in your own
thick and stupid brain
That because of you, teardrops
fall around me like rain;
And until you show me without
a doubt or two or three,
With touch and understanding, that
you really do want me.
� Kathee Tschudy, March 11, 1999.
Back to Demonic Dreams
As always, comments are welcome.
E-Mail Me