Scott Summers, P. I.
in
"Who murdered 'The Brain'?"
by Darnell

I sat at my desk, I began to doze off on one of those hot and dry dreary-murder-mystery-that-only-happen-in-detective-stories type of night, when suddenly there was a tapping, no a rapping, no a raven--wrong story, there was a knock at my door. Knock, Knock. I pondered answering it, one, it could be the Repo-man or two, it could be some leggy dame with boobs out to Tuesday! I decided to open it...YES! Choice number two!

"Are you Mr. Summers? Oh gosh, you have to DO me!" she said in that oh so breast filed voice.

"What was that ma'am?"

"DO me a favor, please!"

As to what she said after that, I don't quite remember but I did I tell you about those legs, they are less like legs and more like totem poles, boy oh boy would I like to climb tho--wait, I remember now...

"Oh, Mr. Summers, you have to help me! My name is Roro Munroe and sugar Daddy, the big mobster, Chuck "The Brain" Xavier is DEAD!" She sobbed into her handkerchief (MAJOR CLUE: She cried no actual tears).

"How can I help you then, Miss Munroe if he's already dead?" I asked in my own charming way.

"Well, the real problem is...The police think I did it! Me, his "goddess", oh you have to help me! I don't have much money, since Chuck's bitch of a wife took it from me, but I can repay you in other ways."

"Me likey--uh, I mean, we'll discuss my payment after the investigation."

We went to Chuck's home in Westcheeser County, it was freaking huge! Anyway, the first person to meet us was Ms. Munroe's brother and Xavier's former bodyguard, Peter "The Steel" Rasputin. Odd thing about these two, she gave him a full open mouth kiss (<---MAJOR Clue) I put it off as sibling love. Rasputin lead me upstairs to the crime scene, ugly, ugly, ugly, wallpaper and the tile was horrendous, and those drapes, girlfriend please! Did I tell you about the crimes scene? Oh right, it turns out Xavier was shot 34 times, stabbed 18, then drowned for good effect.

"So Pete," I asked "How well did you know Mr. Xavier?"

"Oh very vell, he vas like a fazer zoo me!" Rasputin said in his thick New York accent, I noticed that on Rasputin's side was a gun.

"What's with the gun?" I said.

"I carry zit zat zall timez." (MAJOR Clue)

I slowly backed away from him and went to the window, it was broken( du du du dudu). Now I know the old geezer was crippled but he could at least open the window. I turned to Ms Munroe and asked her of her whereabouts at the night of the murder.

"I was with Petey, we're together every night...playing...solitaire, giggle. Oh Mr. Summers, I loved Chucky, he was so good to me, like I said he was my sugar Daddy, he did everything for me. He even combed my hair because he had none of his own." Solitaire...a game for two or a game for MURDER! Hehe just joshing ya, no one with a rack like that could hold a gun straight. I take out my little book of suspects so far, I write her name and his but scratch out her name.

"Well, do you know of anyone that would want him dead?" I asked in my most mysterious and spooky voice, I love that voice.

"Yes, just one person, his wife..."

Then BOOM! or was it a ping...whatever it was it made me wet my pants and not in a good way!

And there stood, with a smoldering gun, the woman I once knew, loved and lusted for (and still do...when I'm alone, I mean lonely!), what's her face? Yeah, yeah, Jeannie Grey!

"Jeannie..."

Stay tuned (not really tuned...but keep paying attention) for part 2!