"The Mack-neto War, Pt. 2"
by Ron

The Artic: (The X-Men have just been caought in the nuclear balst and the Acolytes are enjoying a game off poker aboard their ship)

Scanner: Well, that's the end of the X-Men. I never thought they would die like that. Give me two!!

Melloncamp: Better them than us!! Give me one. At least they'll never get in our hair again.

Neophyte: Y-yeah gu-gu-guys, b-but maybe w-we sh-sh-should see i-if they a-are still-ll-lll al-al- not de-dead!

Frenzy: Shut up Neophyte! Not only are you a stupid weakling, but ever since you came back to the Acolytes, you've been a studderer! Don't say another word or soo help me..

Neophyte: But o-our l-lord Ma-Mag-Magneto-o-o said it w-was nor-normal !

(meanwhile in the cold tundra below)

Xavier:(telepathicly) My X-men, it is time to strike at the Acolytes!

Storm: Bout time! I'm gonna show them fools that you don't mess with an Uptown sista!!

(Meanwhile, aboard the Acolyte ship)

Scanner: You know, Storm did have on a fly Polo costume, and I think Kitty was wearing those new Tommy boots!

Mellancamp: Yeah! Lord Magnus never gives us enough money for good clothes!

Uniscione: Yeah, Xavier always keeps those traitors in cool clothes! Lets take em!

(All of the Acolytes leave the ship and go to decloth the X-men when)

Xavier: NOW!!!

(The X-Men beat the Acolytes like the stole something-which they almost did- and Kitty enters the ship)

Kitty: Damn Magneto and his technology! I can't get this thing started!!

Gambit: Let me help, Kit-Kat!

Kitty: How did you get in here?

Gambit: I'm a masta t'ief from from Tex- I mean New Orleans!

(The X-Men take off in the ship and leave the Acolytes out in the cold)

Neophyte: I-it's c-c-cold o-out -h-h-here!

Frenzy: SHUT UP!!!

(Meanwhile, at the North Pole)

Magneto: That was close! So the humans try to defy me! I shall teach them!

(Magneto sends out an energy wave, and immediatly all the pimps on the street lose their latent powers. And al over the world, lovers lose interest in their partners.

(The Avengers Mansion)

Wanda: What's wrong Simon? A minute ago you were a tiger, now you're as timid as a lamb!

Simon: i just, don't want to do it anymore!

( The White House)

Intern: I'm not going down there! And you better keep that cigar to yourself!

Clinton: Oh Lord! Magneto is stealing my game! If the X-Men don't stop him soon, we may have to give in to Magneto. Oh well, no one will miss Maine much, not many votes there!

(Genosha)

Huxley: i think I liked Genosha better whne the Magistrates were running around beating up mutants! This assignment sucks! If only there was some way to get outt of this job..

Secretary: Dr. Huxley, Magneto has just shut down power and humam "relations". H says that if he doesn't get a country to rule, it'll stay like this forever!

Huxley: That gives me an idea! I have to get to New York, now!!

(Back in the Artic)

Magneto: That'll show them, but what do I do with this build up of energy? I can't hope to contain it!!

Astra: Then I can use it to take over the world!!!

Magneto: What are you doing here? I thought when you left the Brotherhood, you were going to marry Micheal Jackson?

Astra: Well, he only likes monkeys and little boys, so I decided to take over the world!!

Magneto: You even crazier than when we broke up!!

Astra: now, it is time to die!!

(Astra shoots at Magneto with an energy weapon, but he deflects the blast, and takes all of her stuff.)

Magneto: Now leave, woman!!

Astra: I have one more weapon up my sleeve! JOSEPH!!!!!

Joseph: It is time, Magneto! I shall defeat you and have Rogue all to myself!!

Magneto: She will never except a cheap imitation, when she can have the real thing!!

(Magneto and Joseph begin to fighteach trying to wrestle control of the energies from the other!!)

Astra: HAHA!! If Joseph wins, I rule the world right out! If Magnus wins, he'll be to weak to stop me from killing him!! I shall be QUEEN OF THE PLANET!!!

Nightcrawler: I dont think so, chica!!

Astra: Aren't you german?

Nightcrawler: Oh, that is right! Sorry, Liebechen!

(Nightcrawler teleports Astra around the room about ten times.)

Astra: That will not stop me!!

(She goes to stab him, but he punches he out.)

Xavier: Now X-Men, yell your battle cries and stop Magneto!!

Gambit: Mon Ami!!

Colossus: Cawabunga!!

Kitty: Spoon!!

Marrow: Fork!!

Rogue: Sugah!!

Storm: Harlem World!!

Nightcrawler: Mien freund!!

Wolverine: Who let the dogs out!

Xavier: What?!

Wolverine: I mean, GRRR, Bub!!

Storm: That's the last time I take you clubbin, Logan!!

(The X-Men each take a shot at Magneto, but all fail. )

Xavier: We will never beat him that way! Here at the epicenter of the energy, the Mack-neto powers work! We must help Joseph conquer them in order to save the world!!

Magneto: Alright, Joseph! There are 5 women here! We each freed them a line and who ever wins, rules the world!!

Joseph: That is the only way this will be settled!

Xavier: This will be a dilemma! While Joseph has more raw power, Magneto has more control! I must psioniclly anchor Joseph so that he doesn't become one wiith the Pimp Force!!!

Astra: Well, I'm going with Joseph, straight off the bat!!

Rogue: Well, Magneto is my sugah daddy, so I'm with him!!

Gambit: But chere, I thought-

Rogue: Don't "But chere" me!! Ya said you ain't want me no more, so I got with Magnus!!

Magneto: I shall mack Kitty Pryde first!! Girl, you so fine that you make the blind see!!

Kitty: That was so weak!! Let's see if you can do better, Joseph!

Joseph: Girl, you so fine that you make the birds sing!

Kitty: OOHH! I pick Joseph!!!

Magneto: Alright, Marrow, girl, you taste so good that I wanna sop you up with a biscuit!!

Marrow: Ooh, Biscuits! Go, Joey!!

Joey: Marrow, you are so beautiful they should put you face on every billboard!!

Marrow: UGH! Then everyone would mack me! You win, Magneto!!

Xavier: Whoever wins over Storm, is the true Playa!!

Magneto: Ororo, you are so fine that I'll drink you bath water!!

Storm: Ooh!! If you get tired of Rogue, holler at me!! Joseph.

Joseph: Pkay, i got a good one! Girl, you are so good, that if they threw it up into the air, it would turn into sunshine!!

Storm: OOO!! Sorry Magneto, but Joseph wins!!

Joseph: Yes! yes! I won!!

Xavier: Joseph, control yourself! You are becoming one with the energy field!!

Joseph: It is too late, Charles! Besides, you know Harras wouldn't kill a real X-Man!!

(Joseph becomes one with the energy field, and the world is right again!)

Magneto: I lost! Oh well, see you next summer during the crossover!

Huxley: Hold on, Magneto! The United Nations has just ceded control of the Republic of Genosha to you! We won't help you, but it's yours if you want it!!

Wolverine: WHAT!! He lost! He should be in jail!!

Huxley: The UN says he's free, so he's going to Genosha to be king!!

Wolverine: Like hell he is!

Xavier: Logan no!!

(Wolverine lundges at Magneto with his claws ready for the kill, but Xavier knocks him out.)

Magneto: There will be another time, Charles, and you will pay for wiping my mind!!

Xavier: And when you do return, the X-Men will be there to stop you!!

(The X-men board Clinton's plane home)

Wolverine: We went all that way, and nothing happened!

Storm: Yeah, but the President said he had a reward for us for stopping Magneto!!

The X-Men land, and find a note on the front door)

Kitty: It's from Clinton! It says " Thank you X-Men for all your help, this check will help you get things back in order." TWENTY BUCKS!! That cheap, lying, sonova..

Xavier: There will be a next time Kitty. and when there is, the X-men shall strike!!!

Storm: Yeah, and Magneto gona give me some money for my Polo!!

The End(until the next stupid crossover in 3 months!)