RON PRODUCTIONS

PRESENTS

THE X-MEN
IN
"Britney Spears aka Marvel Girl, Pt. 1"

(The X-Mansion)

Gambit: How come Rogue got all the women on her team? I'm the Big Daddy Lebeau, and I need a new teenage member to liven my team up, and Jean and Storm won't do.

Cable: If I were leader, I'd get Moonstar or Meltdown.

Gambit: But you ain't da leader, I am. And this ain't the New Mutants, dis the X-Men and when we need a teenage girl to be a member, we find a new one.

Cable: But Lebeau we have enough power.

Gambit: Who cares 'bout power, we need a new popular member. Wolvie isn't as bad as he used to be, Beast is never around, Jean's depressed, "Roro won't wear a thong, and Liefeld just destroyed you on his last run. I'm the only thing selling this book.

Cable: I don't suck.

Gambit: Yep, you suck. You used to be good when you started, but this ain't 91. And the only new gimmick you got between now and then was your big stick that does nothing.

Jean: Remy!!! I just picked up a New Mutant on Cerebro!!

Gambit: Dis ain't one of Cable's lame new mutants?

Jean: No, it's an all new one. And it's coming from the Britney Spears concert at MSG.

Gambit: Den let's go. X-men, get you crap and let's fly!!!

(A short time later in NYC, at Madison Square Garden)

Storm: Remy, Rogue's team is here enjoying the concert. Perhaps we can enlist their aid in finding the mutant.

Gambit: No way. It's bad enough she got Psylocke and Kitty on her team, I need a girl on mine too. Pardon my French, Goddess, but you and Jeannie ain't selling books no more. And they got Y drawing their book, they can't have everything good. We need balance.

Beast: I thought Raney was drawing this issue?

Gambit: He is, and it's a good one. But next month Kubert will be back and it will suck again.

Wolverine: No, that scent can't be right!!

Jean: What is it, Logan?

Wolverine: One of the dancers, he smells like Cyclops!!

Jean: Scott!!!!!!!!

(Jean Begins to fly to the stage, but Cable stops her)

Cable: Wait Jean, he's not Scott anymore. He's Cyclopalypse.

Jean: I don't care. I love him and I'll--

Monolith: TeenyBoppers, You will now serve Apocalypse!!

Britney: What the hell is going on.

Dancer: We need your power, my sweet!

(Turns into Cyclopalypse)

Rogue: Get yo' hands off her, Mister!!

Marrow: Yeah, you aren't going to stop our Music!!!

Cyclopalypse: You still doubt my power, so you will pay!!

(Lets loose his optic blast, and knocks out the crowd and Rogue's team!!

Cyclopalypse: Now you, little girl. I know of your powerful voice which has hyponotzed your fans and made you rich. With that voice I shall control the minds of the world and take my rightful place as the Highlord!!

Cable: Not if I can help it!!

(Cable jumps on stage)

Gambit: Get back here, you moron!!

Cable: Scott, I don't want to hurt you, but I will.

Cyclopalypse: My son, I love you, give me a hug!!

Storm and Jean: No!! It's a trap!!

Cable: Okay Dad!!

(Cable hugs Cyclopalypse, and it knocked unconscious)

Gambit: That idiot!!

Beast: Cable may not have stopped you, but I shall!!

(Does lame move but is blasted by Monolith)

Wolverine: He has to stop hanging around those Avengers so much!!

Storm: Monolith, that is the last X-Man you shall ever hurt!!

(Storm and the Monlith go at it)

Britney: What is going on here?

Gambit: Just stay by me, and you'll be alright!!

Britney: Who are you?

Gambit: A fellow Louisianian and a fellow mutant

Britney: You guys know about my power?

Gambit: Yep!!

Jean: Listen, Scott, you can stop this. Just fight Apocalypse, and come back with us!!

Cyclopalpse: Never!!!! Do you want to know the real reason I joined with Apocalpsyse? It was because you never made anytime for me. It was always about them, and I wanted to be with you and just you. The X-Men have cost me everyone i love, and now i will do the sa---AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(Wolverine has put his claws in him)

Wolverine: Sorry, Scott, but this is going to hurt you alot more that it will hurt me.

Cyclopalpyse: Reflex, save us!!

Blink: I'm Blink!!

Cyclopalpse: I don't care who you are, save me!!

Blink: I will, don't get pushy!!

(Blink teleports Cyclopalpse and the Monolith away)

Wolverine: Damn!!! We'll get him next time!!

Jean: Scott!!

Cable: Isn't Blink dead?

Storm: Marvel never leaves anyone dead!!!

Gambit: Well, we did it!!

Wolverine: We? All you did was stand in the corner and feel on the girl.

Gambit: I was supervising!!! So Britney, do you wanna join our team.

Britney: Do I get paid?

Gambit: Sure!!

Beast: But we don't get paid.

Britney: Do I get my own room?

Gambit: We're kinda short on space, so you'll have to bunk wit me.

Britney: No problem. I always wanted to be a superhero.

Gambit: All you need is a name.

Britney: Howse about "Wonder Woman"?

Gambit: Wrong company. But you can be Marvel Girl!!

Jean: But that was my name

Gambit: It's not now.

Storm: But wasn't a girl on the Fantastic Four named that?

Gambit: Yep. Not only do we get the X-men fans and the Britney Spears Fans, we get the FF fans and the old X-factor fans. After the movie, we'll be selling millions!!!

Britney: I like the sound of that, Big Daddy Lebeau!!

Gambit: Yes!!! Everything has worked out alright.

Jean: No it hasn't!!! Scott's still not free.

Beast: And Blink is back from the dead, and evil now!!

Gambit: Hey, dis X-men!! And as long as I'm runnin dis team, we will show no initiative!! Now let's go home and practice in the Danger Room. Just you and me, Miss Brit!!

Britney: I like the sound of that. YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!!

Gambit: No singin. You don't want to burn out your power, do you?

Britney: No, but I need my exercise.

Gambit: After I'm done with you tonight, you'll be too tired to sing.

Cable: How come he gets the girl?

Gambit: Because I'm the star!!!


Next, Britney Spears gets trapped in the Morlock tunnels and must fight against the All New, All Deadly Blink!!!