"The X-Men of Today's World, If Mutant Powers Actually Existed"
by Carl.

The X-Men of today's world, if mutant powers actually existed (sorry to burst anyone's bubble). This is the Twelve, the team that will take down N'SYNC and restore order to the pop-music world!

12) N'SYNC- When united in harmony, (or lack thereof), they have the power to make women fall into their trance and buy their CDs. Of course, they will be their own downfall.

11) Drew Barrymore- She can prevent her face from aging past the appearance of a twelve-year old. Stuck in this cute stage forever, she will utilize her youth to lure the N'SYNC boys into her trap.

10) Charlie Sheen- He has the unfortunate ability to sub-consciously call the cops to him at the worst possible moment. Could come in handy.....

9 & 8) Party of Five Women- They are both blessed and cursed with the ability to create one good scary movie to be followed by a sequel of much less quality. They aren't too valuable in the fight to free the world, but they are very distracting as they bounce...err....I mean run for their lives!

7 & 6) Cher and Dick Clark- Given the ultimate gift of immortality as their genetic birthright, Cher and Dick Clark will outlive all of N'SYNC combined! Needless to say they're invaluable to the cause.

5) Bill Gates- Infected with the Techno-organic Microsoft virus during childhood, he is thrown into the future where he is shown all the directions computers will go in. When he returns to this timeline, he realizes he must create the ultimate computer weapon to take N'SYNC down!

4) Kenneth Starr- He's gifted with the power to draw the whole country's attention to him as he hovers over politicians everywhere. Be afraid if you have power cuz he can shut you down!

3) Calista Flockhart - Cursed with the inability to keep a boyfriend for longer than a month, she is basically the Rogue of the group. Mad enough to kill with her bare hands, she is a force to be reckoned with.

2) Bob Barker- Multiply-talented Barker can make co-workers fall in love with him and is also gifted with immortality, but his most important gift is not even a mutant talent. He now knows EVERY price of every product in the U.S., which will come in handy when .....Bill Gates needs to buy stuff for his computers?!? Okay, Barkers not the most valuable member of the team, but he gives good advice ("have your pet spayed or neutered!")

1) The Chihuahua- That's right, the Taco Bell dog is actually a mutant with the ability to be both billengual ("Yo quiero taco bell!") and to use his telepathic powers to convince us that what goes on behind the counters at Taco Bell is always sanitary! Once again, not the most valuable member of the team, but he sure can bite ankles with a vengance! Also, the Chihuahua and Barker are sworn enemies seeing as how Bob wants to neuter the poor dog.....can you say ouch?!?