"The Top Ten Ways To Tell If Wolverine Moves In Next Door To You"
by Carl.

The top ten ways to tell if Wolverine moves in next door to you:

10) Tell him to play dead and he says that he's "been there, done that" more times than he can count.

9) Scratch him right under the neck and he bangs his leg on the floor uncontrollably. Rub his tummy, and you've made a friend for life.

8) Your mailbox has been used as a scratching post.

7) He always mutters to himself that he's "the best there is at what he does" but your wife didn't seem to think so last night..... (cheap shot, I apologize!)

6) Whenever you play frisbee in the front yard, your neighbor's ears perk up.

5)When you have him over for dinner, he insists on having his steaks "extra rare, bub".

4) You notice that he keeps his bushes well trimmed, but he always seems to "misplace" his hedge-clippers when you need to borrow them.

3) You catch him in his spandex and he says it's to cure an irritating skin rash.

2) Your dog won't go outside because your neighbor already marked his territory (if you know what I mean).

And the biggest tip-off to the fact that Wolverine currently resides next-door is:

1) He goes on vacations on a whim, but instead of coming back with a tan, he comes back with a new bone structure.