"Top Ten Goals Magneto Will Be Setting His Sights On Now That He Owns Genosha"
by Carl.

Magneto has FINALLY made his ultimate move. First Genosha, then the world! These are the top ten goals Magneto will be setting his sights on now that he owns Genosha:

10) He hopes to host the next Saturday Night Live episode where he will do his famous Barbara Walters imitation!

9) He seeks out to find Waldo (of Where's Waldo fame) once and for all and save him from the "abundancy of mere humans who tend to crowd around him."

8) He decided to take over all malls in the U.S. to make him "in" with the younger generation.

7) Magneto plans to make more time for his son, where they will chat about girls and trade baseball cards and race on their bicycles.

6) He plans to put all mailbox flags up to confuse the mailmen as punishment for not accepting him when he first started looking for a career. (What do you think REALLY drove him to become Magneto, huh?!?....the POST OFFICE!)

5) He's going to see the new Star Wars movie.....because Doctor Doom recommends it highly.

4) Magneto wants to get better press, so he turns to the internet. The "Super-Villians in Silly Helmets" website recommends to pillage and plunder while always exposing your good side (and using a subtle amount of blush).

3) Magneto will want to purchase an answering machine, on which he will record the message, "Hello, you have reached Magneto's country of Genosha. If you would like to join my Acolytes, press 1. If you would like me to give you a few piercings through your chest, press 2. If you want to discuss what my world agenda is this week, press 3. If you are a human, press 4 and I will immediately trace your call and end the unnecessary flow of blood to your brain.

2) He will try to fly completely around the world, but when he gets to South America, he's hit by a plane. Luckily he lands in a puddle of mud, is found at gunpoint by a nun, and rides around on a tractor for a few weeks suffering from amnesia. (If it didn't work out well the first time around, why not try it again?????)

And his ultimate goal now that he owns Genosha is.......

1) He plans on using a new threat on his foes. Instead of "Stopping the flow of blood to your brain," he decides on "Stopping the transmission of South Park to your T.V."