A Tricky Situation ~Touch and Go~ is ©1999 Seiya (starr.evans@mailcity.com) and Hotaru (faris.greyweirs@mailcity.com). Steal it and Rena Lanford will Gravity Press you into Kenny paste. If you haven't visited it yet, A Tricky Situation can be found at http://fly.to/touchandgo/ Opening Theme: Our Evolution Title Screen: That's Right, For Eternity A cold wind rustles through the crevaces of Mt. Moon. Normally, the wind carries scent of predators to the Pokémon living peacefully there. Lucky for one certain Pokémon trainer, whom is currently stalking down a rare Clefairy, the wind's blowing in her face rather than on her back. 'My hundredth Pokémon, a Clefairy,' this trainer thinks to herself, tugging at her concealing black trenchcoat. 'I can't mess this up. It took me forever just to find this one.' a male voice sounds in her mind. The trainer smiles over at the source of the voice--her second Pokémon, a Kadabra. 'Thanks, Batts.' (Her first Pokémon had been this Kadabra's previous form, Abra. This particular trainer had given her second Pokémon the name of Batts. After that, she made a habit of giving her Pokémon nicknames.) Batts the Kadabra reminds her. 'Yeah, yeah, I know...Batts, teleport to its other side,' she orders. 'Then we'll attack.' Batts disappears in a shimmer of light, then reappears upwind from the Clefairy. "Cle?" The Clefairy blinks and stares over at where Batts had been, noticing the shimmer of light. "Clefairy?" It's about then it notices the sudden scent of a Kadabra. "Clefairy!!!" it shrieks, jumping up in surprise from the sudden unknown scent. 'Batts! Confusion, now!!' the trainer orders, still hidden downwind from the Clefairy. Batts rises from his position. "..." he states clearly before sending a wave of psychic energy hurling towards the frightened Clefairy. "CLEEEEE......" it whines, falling over from the assault. Its eyes spiral in a very cute manner, signalling to both Pokémon and trainer that yes, it is indeed confused. The trainer stands. "All right, Batts! Psywave it over to me!" Batts nods, then concentrates. A surge of psychedelic mental energy forms at the star on his forehead, then sweeps forth in the form of reality-twisting waves. The Clefairy shrieks in pain as the waves overcome it, and falls several meters down the mountain to the trainer's feet. "Cleeeee..." the Clefairy whimpers. The trainer shakes her head, then takes off her backpack and extracts a red and white ball--the customary Pokéball all Pokémon trainers use to capture wild Pokémon--then presses it to the Clefairy's forehead. The Pokéball opens up and envelopes it in a red forcefield. The Clefairy succumbs to the forcefield, sucked into the Pokéball, and the Pokéball snaps shut. The ball wiggles once...twice... thrice...then lies still. Batts messages upon teleporting to her side. The trainer smiles, runs a hand through her silky lavender bangs, then yawns and stretches. "About time, too," she says, picking up the Pokéball. She winks one ruby eye at her companion Pokémon as she rummages through her backpack, searching for a potion. "That entire ordeal of trying to find one in the first place was a huge pain." Batts chuckles mentally, closing his eyes. She takes out a flask containing a potion, then presses the button on the Pokéball. Her recently acquired Clefairy pops out, still woozy from the attacks. "Cle..." "Heal my new Clefairy," she informs him before spraying the contents of the flask on Clefairy's wounds. A few moments after she does so, Clefairy's eyes pop open with revived energy. "Cle?" it utters. It sees Batts, then shrieks, "CLE, CLE, CLEFAIRY!!!!!!!!" It then jumps into the trainer's arms and buries its head in her trenchcoat. Batts bows. he tells it. "Cle?" Clefairy whimpers, staring up at the trainer with teared-up eyes. "That's right, Clefairy," she smiles. "Batts, my Kadabra, doesn't attack anyone unless I tell him too. You don't have to worry about him anymore, and you don't have to worry about yourself anymore either. I'll take care of you." "Cle, clefairy...?" "Yes, really! I promise you!" She hugs it close. "You're my hundredth Pokémon. That makes you special." Clefairy mulls over this a bit. "Cle, clefairy..." It brightens, then nods and hugs her back. "Clefairy! Cle clefairy cle clef!" The trainer smiles and nods. "I'm glad," she replies. "Would you like a nickname?" "Cle...?" Clefairy says, tilting its head slightly to the side. "Yes. A nickname is what I call you instead of 'Clefairy'. I personally think it gives Pokémon a sense of individuality; instead of just being another Pokémon, they're someone special because they have their own name." "Cle!" Clefairy cheers. "Clefairy cle! Cle, fairy clef?" "Hmmm..." the trainer mutters, tapping her cheek with a finger. "Well, you're cute and pink and a relatively small female, so how about... Chibiusa-chan? Or Usa-chan, for short?" "Fairy! Cle, clefairy cle? Clefairy fair cle!" She smiles. "Usa-chan it is, then. Usa-chan, return." "Cle!" Usa-chan smiles before being enveloped in the bright red forcefield of the Pokéball and returning into it. She sighs, stands, and smiles. "I'm glad that could be resolved," she says as she places Usa-chan next to her also recently acquired Geodude (which she nicknamed Takeshi). Batts tells her from out of nowhere. "Huh?" she utters just as a muffled ringing sounds from underneath her trenchcoat. "Who'd be able to call me while I'm all the way up here...?" she mutters to herself as she opens her trenchcoat (revealing a white top with a red "R" on it), retrieves a PHS hidden in an inside pocket, then presses the "TALK" button and holds the PHS to her ear. "Sami Hill here," she frowns. "Who's this?" -Sami, this is Giovanni,- a harsh, echoing voice sounds over the PHS (due to the fact that Giovanni prefers to mask his voice through distortion). "Oh, hi, Boss," she replies coolly. "I caught my hundredth Pokémon just now, so I think I'm ready to go out on some missions. Is that what you're calling me about?" -Precisely. I'm pairing you up with the newest member, Starr Evans. She's shown great potential as a member of Team Rocket, and I personally think you two would work well together. She's waiting for you now, so return to Viridian City immediately.- "Gotcha," she replies. "I'll be returning ASAP. Sami Hill, over and out." With that, she clicks on the TALK button once again to shut off the PHS, then replaces it in her coat. "Guess what, Batts!" Batts guesses. The Pokémon trainer known as Sami Hill grimaces. "Sometimes I wish you wouldn't listen in on my conversations." he points out. Sami shrugs. 'I guess so,' she replies mentally, shaking a finger. She winks and smiles at him. 'After all, with the psychic link we share, actual speech isn't necessary, is it? We can simply speak directly thought-to-thought--' she grins wickedly, '--as many an unfortunate Pokémon trainer have found out first-hand.' Batts chuckles mentally. 'Mmmm, quite,' Sami smiles, running a hand through her lavender bangs. She places her hands underneath the portion of her hair which is hugging her neck, then pulls it out from under her clothing-- revealing that her supposed short cut had really been back-length hair hidden underneath her trenchcoat and uniform. She fluffs it a little, letting it sway in the cool mountain breeze. 'The really cute part is when they accuse me of cheating, and then I beat them, AGAIN, that time with spoken commands.' Her grin returns. "It's just so FUNNY!" She turns her attention to the downwards slope of the mountain, dropping the current subject like a candy wrapper. "Kuso. I don't feel like climbing all the way down again." She sighs. "Batts, would you please teleport us to the base of the mountain? We can walk back to Viridian City from there." Batts points out. "This is true, Batts, but you remember that Pokémon Center at the base of Mt. Moon where that idiot trainer stole my stones?" she reminds him. He shakes his head. "That's right!" Sami snaps, clenching her hand into a Mighty Fist of Justice®. "I won't forgive that guy! I intend to return and get my evolution stones back!" Sami winks and waggles a finger. "In that case, we'll have find him and ever-so-politely request he graciously give us the income he received on our stones, yes? It's only fair! They're our stones, so it's our money! And if he's rude and doesn't give us what's rightfully ours--well then, we'll have to give him a reason to believe in the unsavory reputation dear little Team Rocket has, right? That's why I only want to go to the base of Mt. Moon: so we can find Mr. Idiot Trainer and pay him a nice little visit!" He shakes his head, smiling. She grins. "Only to humans, Batts. You know that." "I wonder too," Sami replies. "He said he thought the two of us would work well together. That alone makes me want to meet this girl! Now, on to that Pokémon Center, if you will, please, Batts?" Batts chuckles before the two of them are enveloped in a shimmer of light, then disappear. "Heh heh heh heh," a lone trainer chuckles to himself not too far away from the Pokémon Center located at the base of Mt. Moon. "What a haul!" (This particular trainer, nicknamed 'Mr. Idiot Trainer' by one Sami Hill, is referring to his latest Pokémon raid from the nearby Pokémon Center. This Rocket wannabe has spent the last few months hanging out near it, stealing anything Pokémon- related which he deems valuable.) "Five Beedrils, two Raichus, an Oddish, a Scyther, an Eevee, and a Leaf Stone! I haven't gotten this good since that one stupid trainer chick left all her evolution stones alone in her room!" Batts says once he and Sami appear outside the Pokémon Center. He pauses. "He won't be for long," Sami replies cheerfully, heading off in the direction of south-south-west. "That guy's gonna find out the hard way what it means to mess with Team Rocket." (In the very far distance, if one really cared what was going on in the very far distance, one would be able to see three figures soaring through the air without wings and screaming, "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!!!") Mr. Idiot Trainer, as we'll call him since his real name isn't that important, cheerfully whistles to himself as he pulls out the other bags of loot he'd collected from the Pokémon Center during the last few months. "Lesse, time to count up everything again..." he mutters, smiling. "Hah hah hah hah! Lookit all these evolution stones! I still can't get over it!" he laughs as he dumps out a pile of evolution stones which include a Leaf Stone, a Fire Stone, three Water Stones, two Thunder Stones, and one Moon Stone. He adds the second Leaf Stone to the pile of evolution stones, then pulls out the Pokéballs he'd collected. He adds the five Beedrils to a pile of three Beedrils, the two Raichus to a pile of two Raichus, adds the Oddish to a pile of four Oddishes, places the Eevee in the Eevee pile of one, and sets up a new pile for the Scyther. Then he counts out three Grimers, two Glooms, an Electabuzz, a Clefairy, three Charmanders, three Charmeleons, one Charizard, six Pidgeys, two Pidgeots, ten Rattatas, six Butterfrees, and one Porygon. (The Porygon, Electabuzz, Clefairy, and now Scyther are the gems of his collection, being that they're so rare. Even Mr. Idiot Trainer knows that.) "Hi there! Whatcha dooin'?" a girlish, cheerful voice sounds behind him. "Ooooh! Look at all the pwetty evolution stones and Pokéballs! Say, mister, where'dja get all those pretty stones and balls?" "I stole 'em from the Pokémon Center near here," Mr. Idiot Trainer snaps without turning around, true to his name. "Beat it, little girl, I ain't got time for ya!" "Wow, COOL!!" the female voice continues. "You could steal that much? I'm really impressed! You may as well be a Rocket!" "Gosh, you really think so?" Mr. Idiot Trainer smiles with his eyes closed, placing a hand on the back of his neck and finally turning around. "Team Rocket is my IDOL! I'd love to be a member! Hey, I'd love to *meet* a member!!" "Then today is your lucky day," the same voice, except not quite as childish and girly, replies, malice clearly evident in the voice. "Huh?" Mr. Idiot Trainer utters, opening his eyes. What he sees is a wickedly grinning girl in a Team Rocket uniform. His heart sinks somewhere into the vicinity of his feet as he realizes this is the "stupid trainer chick" he'd stolen his horde of evolution stones from. "Uhh... you're from Team Rocket, aren't you?" "That's right!" Sami replies, nodding, the wide wide smile still in place. "And, uh, you're going to hurt me for stealing your stones, aren't you?" he hesitantly continues. Sami cracks her knuckles in front of his face. "Right again, Mr. Idiot Trainer!" Right before our heroine opened a can of 100% pure whoop-ass on him, Mr. Idiot Trainer was noted to have said, "oh, $&!#." Some time later, after Mr. Idiot Trainer has been beaten to a still-conscious semi-bloody pulp and hung upside-down from a nearby tree, Sami begins to rummage through his loot. "This is quite a haul you've got here, I have to admit," she comments cheerfully. "I might have lost my evolution stones for a while, but now I've got 'em back and then some!" Batts queries, frowning. "I know what you're thinking, Batts," Sami starts, closing her eyes. "You're thinking that I, a Pokémon lover, should return these Pokémon to their rightful trainers, true to what I believe in." She opens her eyes and looks over her shoulder at him. "But you're forgetting that I have a job too, and as a member of Team Rocket, I'm suppose to collect rare and unusual Pokémon and pack 'em away to the Boss. My going on this little 3-year mission to collect Pokémon for myself doesn't mean I can't pick up a few for him as a souvenir of my trip." She returns to her rummaging. "Provided I don't find anything I don't already have." Batts sighs mentally. "If they don't like me, I'll let 'em go free," is Sami's response. Batts sighs again, but doesn't chase the subject any longer. "Hmmm...there's a total of 59 Pokéballs here. Just how long have you been stealing Pokémon from that Pokémon Center, anyway?" Sami asks, turning to Mr. Idiot Trainer. MIT spits out a tooth. "A few monthsh now," he grumbles. "Cool. I'll make sure to turn you in to the authorities. Maybe I'll get a reward," Sami smiles. "I could use a little petty cash." Batts reminds her. Ignoring him, because she knows MIT can't hear him, she continues, "So, Mr. Idiot Trainer Whom I Easily Beat Up! What Pokémon do you have here? Anything worth keeping?" "I have lots of valuable Pokémon in that pile!" MIT replies heatedly, despite the fact there's really only four exceptionally valuable Pokémon in the pile. "But I'm not telling you what!!" Sami stands. "Well that's just too bad for you." "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait!!!" MIT says hastily, not particularly liking the taste of canned whoop-ass (he prefers it freeze-dried). "I'lltellI'lltelljustdon'tbringdownyourMightyFistofJustice® again!!!!!!!" The lavender-haired Pokémon trainer smiles big. "Gooood boy!" she says. Her smiles disappears, her expression becomes dangerous, and her tone turns dark. "What's in the pile, Idiot Boy?" "Ahh... well..." he fumbles. "A Porygon... a Clefairy... an Electabuzz and a Scyther... those are the most valuable ones..." "Sugoi ne!" Sami cheers. "I don't have a Porygon or an Electabuzz. They'll be nice additions to my collection. You say the rest aren't quite as valuable?" "I didn't say that..." MIT trails off. Sami crosses her arms. "Then what else do you have?" "Hold on...I've got the inventory memorized..." MIT begins to tick off on his fingers, "Lesse, 8 Beedrils, 2 Eevees, 4 Raichus, 5 Oddishes, 3 Grimers, 2 Glooms, 3 Charmanders, 3 Charmeleons, 1 Charizard, 6 Pidgeys, 2 Pidgeots, 10 Rattatas, and 6 Butterfrees." He adds in a quaking voice, "Is... is that to your satisfaction, O Glorious And Powerful Team Rocket Member Whose Feet I Do Not Deserve To Kiss?" "Sucking up doesn't help with me," Sami informs him matter-of-factly. "I already have one Eevee, but with those two other Eevees, I'll be able to acquire all three evolved forms! I'll take them... I haven't gotten a Grimer yet, so I'll snag one of them... and of course the Porygon and Electabuzz I'll be keeping for myself... everything else I have, so I'll give them to the Boss." She blinks, then looks over at the Pokéballs. "Hmmm... I wonder how I'm going to be able to tell which one is which?" "I put them into piles, O Wonderful And Beautiful Pokémon Trainer Who Will Most Definitely Become The Best Trainer In The World," MIT helpfully suggests. Batts adds. Sami's expression turns rather interesting as she stares at the piles of Pokéballs. "Okay. There were one of each of Scyther, Electabuzz, Porygon, and Clefairy." She picks up one of the four Pokéballs lying by itself. "Let's try this one first." She commands, "Pokéball, GO!!" and tosses it a few feet away. In a burst of red light, an extremely cute pink Pokémon emerges. "Clefairy!" it says (cutely). "Kuso," Sami mutters to herself. After more trial and error, Sami eventually does manage to pick out the Porygon, Electabuzz, Grimer, and two Eevees for herself. After returning them to their respective Pokéballs, she stuffs them in her backpack. She then returns the other Pokéballs and the extra Leaf Stone to one of the original sacks MIT had kept them in, and her evolution stones to one of the other sacks. Sami then picks up her trenchcoat from where she'd left it upon approaching MIT, puts it on (covering her back-length hair in the process), and continues on her merry way with Batts. "Um...hello?" MIT calls after her. "Aren't you going to let me down?" Sami stops, then pulls a 180. She regards him for a moment, then pulls a black permanent marker from one of the pockets on her backpack (always be prepared!). She walks up to MIT, then scribbles a message to the world on his face. "I'll send an anonymous phone call to the Pokémon Center," she finally replies, then grins wickedly as she steps away. "If I remember to." 'Batts, teleport us to Viridian City!' She and Batts disappear dramatically in a flash and dispersion of white light. A moment of silence passes. A crow caws in the distance. A random Pidgey nearby gives MIT a curious look; if it could read, it would have known that, written on MIT's face in big black letters, was the sentence, "DON'T MESS WITH TEAM ROCKET". And for the second time that day, MIT says, "Oh, _$&!#_." Meanwhile, in the Viridian City Gym (which incidentally doubles as the Team Rocket base), a girl with dark red, messy hair and bright green eyes is getting very, very, VERY bored. She leans on the wall, arms crossed over her chest, then stands up and uncrosses her arms, revealing a bright red "R", denoting a member of Team Rocket, marked on her sweater. She looks at the ceiling, sighs, then grins evilly, draws a deep breath, and sings at the top of her lungs, "Boring......this is so boring.....so bored ......I may just diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee......." "Rai RAIIIIIIIIIIIII..." her Pokémon Raichu harmonizes. He's taken possession of the chair since Starr has gotten up to wander around. Starr laughs, then turns to Raichu and says, "What I find weird is, when I get bored, I sing. But when I sing, I'm not bored anymore, so I'd be lying if I sang that I'm bored, but if I stop singing, I get bored again." "Rai?" Raichu looks confused. Starr grins and shrugs. "Yet another fabulous example of precisely how weird my mind is...damn't. Now I'm bored again." Starr wanders over to the vending machine for what seems like the fiftieth time and tries to decide whether or not she is actually hungry. As she examines the array of chocolate bars inside the machine she decides she is, so she kicks it a few times, causing a pack of Skittles and a Mars bar to drop out. Raichu looks at Starr sideways. "Hey, I have to practice my skills at the five-finger discount somehow," Starr shrugs. "So, you want Skittles or a Mars bar today?" "Rai!" Raichu jumps up, grabs the Skittles, and jumps back into the chair. "See the music, feel the colours, taste the rainbow ®," Starr comments, taking a huge bite of the Mars bar. Suddenly she freezes and listens hard. A faint whistling noise has begun outside, like a large object rapidly descending from a great altitude. "Mppphyrst?" Starr wonders, swallowing the bite of Mars bar. Screaming can now be heard as well as the whistling. Both noises get progressively louder until... WHAM! Starr and Raichu jump about fifty feet, hit the ceiling, and come down with a thump. "OWW!" Starr says indignantly, getting up. She stares at the Skittles scattered all across the floor and notes unhappily that she can't find her Mars bar anywhere. "What the hell was THAT?" Suddenly the door slams open and three figures stagger in. One is a girl with insanely styled dark-pink hair. One is a guy with short bluish-purple hair. One is a Pokémon, a Meowth. Both the guy and girl wear Team Rocket uniforms, and all three are kinda charred. They all stand there swaying for a second, then crash to the floor. Starr and Raichu blink, look at each other, and acquire large sweatdrops. Starr pulls a stick out of her pocket and pokes the guy with it. "Boy, they really got trashed this time." "Chu," Raichu agrees. "I wonder if they're okay." Starr crouches next to the guy and takes his pulse. He's still alive, but he's out cold and drooling a little. "Ew. Hey, wake up." She shakes the guy's shoulders. "Mommmeeeeeeeeee, I don't wanna..." he mumbles before rolling over and clinging to Starr's arm. "YEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Starr shrieks. "GET OFF!" She pulls her arm away and orders, "Raichu, thundershock these nutcases awake, will you?" "RAI!" Raichu obliges. In a few seconds, the three are on their feet, a little more charred, but at least conscious (and no longer drooling). "WHEN WHERE WHO WHICH?!" the guy and girl yell, looking around wildly for the culprit. Their gaze lights on a smiling Raichu standing in front of its trainer. When they see who the trainer is, they both glare. "Oh, it's just YOU," the guy says, nose in the air. "What are YOU doing here?" "Being bored while waiting for my new assignment, James, what's it look like?" Starr grins at the expression of annoyance on James' face. "Would you rather I just left you guys unconscious?" Instead of answering the question, the girl with the insane hair looks at Starr. "You got an assignment?" "Yes." "After only *this* short a time?" "YES, Jessie." Starr is feeling slightly irritated at the disbelief. Jessie and James both have a real ego problem and tend to look down on just about everyone else around them, despite their own constant stupidity. In fact, Jessie and James have not completed a single mission successfully. Starr sometimes wonders why Giovanni puts up with them. "Wow," says Meowth. "The Boss must think you have real talent! Congratulations!" "Thanks, Meowth!" Starr reaches to shake his hand, but Jessie and James both clobber the unfortunate feline before she can. "TRAITOR!" Jessie hollers. Meowth twitches a couple times. Starr sweatdrops. "Geez, how can you expect to succeed at anything if you're this mean to your teammates?" "What would YOU know about teamwork?" James demands. "Obviously a heck of a lot more than you. If you three new anything about teamwork at all, you wouldn't end every mission by 'blasting off' and you wouldn't have to drag yourselves back here charred and zapped and grass-stained and clobbered and full of dust every day..." The remainder of Starr's sentence is lost as she collapses on the floor laughing. James scowls and stomps forward, about to step on Starr's stomach. En route, he skids on a Skittle, falls backwards, and lands on Raichu, who promptly thundershocks him. James stands there for a second before uttering, ".... ow." and collapsing on the floor, charred even more. Starr surveys the chaos around her, sighs, and shakes her head. "Deranged. You guys are completely *deranged*. Why don't you go take a shower to get rid of that burnt smell, or something?" Jessie catches sight of her reflection in the vending machine and gasps. "Good idea." She and Meowth each grab one of James's ankles and pull him out of the room. Starr shakes her head and retrieves the broom to clean up the Skittles. Once the multicoloured sugar pellets have been cleaned up, Starr looks at Raichu. "Now what?" As if on cue, the videophone on the table comes to life. *Ring ring ring, phone call, phone call!* an overly cheery electronic voice announces. Starr pounces eagerly on the phone. "Hello? Starr Evans speaking!" -Starr, this is the Boss.- A shadowed image of Giovanni appears on-screen. "Hello, sir," Starr says politely as Raichu hops up on the table and peers at the screen. -I assume you're ready for the assignment I gave you. I contacted your new partner Sami Hill not too long ago.- Starr nods. "Don't worry, sir, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Raichu's in top condition." "Rai!" Raichu agrees. -Good. Sami should be arriving here any second.- As if to accentuate 'any second', at that precise moment the door opens and a lavender-haired figure walks in. Whoever-it-is is wearing the guys' team Rocket uniform. Standing beside the person is a Kadabra. -That's Sami now.- "That's what I call punctuality," Starr remarks to herself, moving over slightly so Sami can see the phone's screen as well. -Starr, Sami, your assignment is to go to Topaz City. There's a rare Pokémon convention scheduled for later today. People at those conventions tend to be careless with their Pokémon, so you two should have no problem retrieving them.- Starr says, "Yes, sir." Sami nods. -Oh, yes. The two of you will be working with another team for this mission. The more of you there are, the more Pokémon you can collect.- "You won't be disappointed," Sami says. The image of Giovanni disappears, and Starr turns to face Sami. "So you're Sami Hill. I've heard a lot about you," she says, extending her hand. It's then that she gets a good look at Sami. He is possibly the cutest guy she's ever laid eyes on. Fortunately, in this kind of situation, Starr knows enough not to babble like an idiot or be a ditz, so she calms herself as he shakes her hand. "It must take a lot of dedication to go out and capture 100-some Pokémon," she comments. Sami nods, then says, "So, do you know what team we're being paired up with? I prefer working with as few people as possible, but this won't be so bad if the other team isn't as mindless as some I've seen." "You're talking about Jessie and James, right?" Starr says. "The Idiot Squadron, you mean." Sami smiles faintly at the (slightly disturbing) thought of them. "I wouldn't call them that... They just pretend to be idiots to make themselves look smarter. You would, too, if you were like them and you didn't have two brain cells to rub together to make a spark." Sami's faint smile gets a little bigger. "Let's get going. I want to get to Topaz City as soon as possible. We're taking the helicopter since there's not enough room in that balloon Jessie and James are so fond of, plus that thing's much too conspicuous." "We should probably get rid of the R on the helicopter, too, if the Boss won't kill us for painting over it," Starr suggests as she and Sami head off to the bay where the helicopter is parked. "Let's see..." Starr says, looking at the helicopter. "Yeah. There should be enough room in there for us, the other team, Raichu, Kadabra--" "His name is Batts," Sami corrects her promptly. "Oh, sorry," Starr says, both to Sami and Batts. Starr blinks, then looks at Batts, who'd just sent her the psychic message. "You speak...?" "That's a surprise?" Sami asks, somewhat dryly. "It shouldn't really be," Starr admits. "After all, Batts is obviously very intelligent, so if something as silly as Meowth can learn to speak to humans, Batts would have no problem learning." Batts turns faintly red. Starr smiles, then looks around the landing bay. "Where's our stupid counterparts? You'd think they'd at least be on time." Sami shrugs. "Oh, well. Let's give them five more minutes, then leave without them." At this, Sami approaches the helicopter (the two red R insignias marking it have since been painted over by Starr) and reaches for the door handle. Suddenly the door slams open, knocking Sami off the runners and onto the floor. "OW! What the--" "Prepare for trouble!" "Make it double." "Oh, please, NO," Starr groans as Jessie, James and Meowth poke their heads out the door, James holding his trademark red rose. "What are you idiots doing here?" Sami demands coldly, getting up off the floor. "We could ask the same thing of you," James snaps in reply. "We're going out on a mission, you ignoramus," Starr responds. "What a coincidence! So are we!" Jessie says cheerily. "We're just waiting for the other team to get here!" "What other team?" Sami queries, raising an eyebow. "The one who the Boss paired us up with," Jessie replies. "That would be us," Starr informs her. Jessie is about to comment on this when suddenly James screams, "What happened to the helicopter????" "If you're talking about the R's--I painted over them," Starr explains. "WHYYYYYYY?" James screams again. "Stop screaming!" Sami snaps. "We painted over them because we're going incognito. Do you know what In Cog Nee Toh is?" "Of course we do! Whaddaya think we are, stupid?" Meowth says indignantly. "No, I just think you're a pack of good-for-nothing idiots," Sami replies in a matter-of-fact tone. James sniffs. "Well, if you two are so smart, do you know how to fly the helicopter?" Sami and Starr look at each other and acquire faint sweatdrops. "So you see, we ARE good for something!" Jessie says triumphantly. "Yes, what a surprise," Sami says dryly. James crosses his arms and laughs under his breath. "And you think you can outdo us! Jessie and I will--" His sentence abruptly ends in "WWWWWMPH!" as Sami shoves his face into the side of the helicopter. "Just shut up and fly, Tux-wannabe," Sami hisses. After a good deal of whining, James climbs into the pilot's seat. Everyone else gets in the helicopter, and after even more whining James takes off. Fifteen minutes into the flight to Topaz City, while Jessie, James and Meowth are busily fighting, Starr turns to Sami and says, " 'Tux-wannabe?' " Sami grins a little. "It's a reference to an anime I like." "AH!" Starr exclaims. "Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon! And it's to Tuxedo Kamen! I bet it's because of those roses James always carries around, right?" Sami nods. "You're an anime fan too, huh? And here I thought I was gonna be bored on this trip." James turns around and whines, "What's wrong with my roses?" "Shut up and fly!" Starr and Sami both order. James reluctantly turns back around. "What's with those roses, anyhow?" Sami wonders. "Beats me. Maybe he just likes flowers--and whom do you mean? James or Tux?" "The one who's worth talking about." "Which one would that be?" "What's going on back there?" James whines. Jessie whaps him. "Don't concentrate on them, concentrate on flying!" Sami looks at James, raises his eyebrows and says, "If he ever starts running around in a cape, I'm finding a bridge and jumping off." Starr snickers. "Don't worry. Rose Boy considers capes passé." "Rose Boy... good call," Sami smiles. "Excuse me a second. There's something I have to do. You'll be okay alone with these two, won't you?" Starr nods. "Good." Sami opens the metal door leading to the helicopter's back room/storage bay and enters, shutting it behind him. When he's out of sight, Starr turns bright red. Raichu pokes Starr. When she looks down, he bends his tail into a heart shape. "Cut it out, Raichu," Starr says mildly, poking him. "Rai rai, rai rai rai..." "You shush. Batts is psychic, so if he hears you make any cute little comments, he'll translate them to Sami, wise guy," Starr whispers, indicating the psychic Pokémon sitting in the seat next to Sami's. "I'm not the only one who knows what you're saying." Sami leans back on the metal door behind her, sighing. She takes three Pokéballs from her belt and sets them on the floor, then kneels in front of them. She places her Fire Stone, Water Stone, and Thunder Stone on the leather seat just in front of her, then releases the Pokémon inside the Pokéballs. The Pokémon that emerge are three Eevees. Only one of them is at its full cuteness potential; the other two look a little ragged. One of them in particular looks skittish although it stays out in the open, whereas the other looks hostile as it growls and hides underneath the back seats. "" the first Eevee smiles, jumping onto her trainer. She then proceeds to lick her face. "" Sami laughs gently, closing one eye and smiling as her Eevee rubs against her cheek. "I'm glad I'm so popular, Hikaru-chan," she replies. "I've got some news for you; you've got two new Eevee companions." "Uuee?" Hikaru says, turning around. It's then she sees the two other Eevees, one looking frightened, the other glaring at everyone underneath the seat with beady black eyes. "" Sami shakes her head. "I got them off someone who'd been stealing Pokémon for a few months. This is the first time I've let them out of their Pokéballs. I would like you to please talk to them, explain their situation to them." "" Hikaru smiles before jumping out of her trainer's arms and landing in front of the skittish Eevee. "" "" the other Eevee says uncertainly. "" " Hikaru replies. The other Eevee glances away. "" Sami and Hikaru both frown. "How did your old trainer treat you, Eevee-san?" Sami queries gently. "" Eevee replies miserably. "" Sami and Hikaru exchange a glance and a frown. "" Hikaru questions. "" "" Eevee mumbles. "" Sami sighs. "Eevee only learns a new attack at level twenty-seven," she frowns. "It's wrong for anyone to neglect a Pokémon because they think it's weak. It might seem weak at first, but it will grow strong if you train them well. And besides, Eevee evolves into three different forms: Flareon, a fire Pokémon; Jolteon, an electric Pokémon; and Vaporeon, a water Pokémon. It's Eevee's variety that makes it a powerful Pokémon. It's not the Pokémon's fault if it's weak, it's the trainer's for not training it well." Eevee's ears perk up at that, and she gazes up hopefully at Sami. "" she asks hesitatingly. "" One of Hikaru's ears tilt to the side. "" she says bluntly. "" "Uee," Eevee replies, hanging her head. "" "" Hikaru argues. "" "Mou, Hikaru..." Sami blushes. She addresses Umi, still beaming from Hikaru's compliment, "If you don't want to, you don't have to be my Pokémon. I can just set you free." "" Eevee says quietly. "" Sami smiles faintly. "If that's the case, do you want a name?" she inquires. "" "A name is something that gives you an individual identity," Sami explains. "If I were to call you Eevee, then that just makes you another Eevee. But if I refer to you by a certain nickname, then that gives you a separate identity that makes you different from other Eevees." Eevee's cheeks turn slightly red. "" Hikaru asks, "" Eevee smiles. "" "Hmmm..." Sami murmurs, placing a finger on her cheek. "What you need is the name of someone strong-spirited, so you can become inspired to have a strong spirit as well... Asuka, maybe? No, I think that's not right, she's too obnoxious and bitchy...Well, how about Umi? She's strong-willed, beautiful, elegant, and doesn't desert her friends. I think that'll be the perfect name for you. Do you like it? I can always think of something else." "" Eevee smiles shyly. Sami laughs gently. "Considering Umi helped save an entire planet, I'd say she's worth something," she smiles. "Umi it is, then." Umi closes her eyes, smiling happily. "Uuee!" She opens her eyes. "" "Hai, called a Vaporeon," Sami nods. "I would have to use a special gem called a Water Stone; when an Eevee is touched by one, it evolves into Vaporeon. Also, if an Eevee is touched by a Fire Stone, it evolves into Flareon, and if it's touched by a Thunder Stone, it evolves into Jolteon." "" Umi asks shyly. "All three, actually," she admits, pointing to the evolution stones on the seat. "I was planning on asking the three of you if you wanted to evolve. You don't have to if you don't want to, of course; it's just an option you have." "" a new Eevee asks. The third Eevee, which had been hiding underneath the seat, has finally poked her head out from underneath. "It technically depends on what you evolve into, but yes, in this case and most cases, Pokémon become significantly stronger when they evolve," Sami replies. Eevee glares at her, not saying anything for a moment. Hikaru finally pipes up, "" "" the Eevee replies flatly. "" "" Hikaru gasps. "" "" the Eevee snaps, still glaring. "" "" Hikaru tells her quietly. The Eevee switches her glare to her. "" she replies flatly. Sami shakes her head. "I'm much the same in personality as you," she tells her softly. "If you don't want to be my Pokémon, I'll gladly set you free. An unwilling Pokémon is better off wild, anyway. They're happier that way." Eevee eyes her suspiciously. "" "I'm distrustful of humans, too." Sami glances away. "One of them once... killed... someone who was very important to me." She closes her eyes. "Ever since then, I've never been able to trust another human completely." Eevee slowly creeps out from underneath the seat. Cautiously, she queries, "" "I wouldn't lie about such a thing," Sami replies, her voice tight. She swipes at her eyes with her fingers, and faces Eevee. "That person was the only one who cared about me when I was little. I loved her, and I was there when she died. I couldn't do anything to save her, because I was too afraid for myself. That was the most traumatic experience of my entire life, and I can never stop wishing I could have done something to stop it; do you think I could lie about something like that?!" Sami softens her tone, shaking her head. "...I'm sorry. It's...a touchy subject, one I don't like to talk about." She rubs her eyes, and her fingers leave wet. Eevee takes a step closer to Sami. "" she says softly. "<...I don't trust you completely yet, but I don't think you'll hurt me...so I'll stay as your Pokémon. Provided...>" "Provided what?" "" Eevee states firmly. Sami smiles and wipes away the last of the tears. "Do you want a name first?" "" Eevee tells her. "In that case, how about Fuu?" she suggests. Eevee considers this name for a moment. "" she decides. "" Sami smiles and refrains from reminding Fuu that she had said that she didn't care what she was named. "As for the strongest Pokémon type...every type has its strengths and weaknesses, and in the end you'll learn the same amount of attacks as Hikaru and Umi at the same levels. The difference is that you'll learn different attacks. But, in the circle of water-thunder-fire, thunder beats water and has no special advantage over fire. Water is defeated by thunder, but beats fire. And fire is beaten by water, and has no special advantage over thunder. Does that help?" Fuu considers her options. "" she decides. "" She jumps up onto the leather seat above her, and looks over the stones. "" Umi queries, worried. "" Fuu snaps before touching a paw to the Thunder Stone. While evolving, Fuu did not see Umi wince. "I told you before, Umi-chan," Sami reminds her gently, "you don't have to evolve if you don't want." "" Umi says quietly. The light of change shimmers away from Fuu's newly evolved body, leaving behind a menacing-looking monster with spiky yellow fur. She stretches and flexes her body. "<...>" "" Hikaru wonders. "" "<...I can't describe it,>" Fuu the Jolteon replies. "" She steps down from the seat and sits next to Sami. "" "That's typical, actually," Sami explains to Umi and Hikaru. "When other Pokémon of mine evolved, they all felt the same surge of invincibility. It wears off after a few moments." "" Umi says quietly. Fuu thumps her tail twice, but says nothing in response. "" Hikaru pipes up. "" "" Umi says, startled. "" "" Hikaru smiles before jumping up onto the seat. She identifies the red stone, then touches her paw to it. Umi, Fuu, and Sami watch in silence as the Fire Stone reacts to Hikaru's body, and the transforming light overtakes her. Her form swells and takes a new shape, and once the light fades off, Hikaru has evolved into a Flareon. "Flare! Flare flare!!" Hikaru cheers, jumping into Sami's lap and knocking her against the door behind her. "" In her happiness, she nuzzles her face to Sami's and licks her cheeks. Umi watches silently as her new trainer laughs and strokes Hikaru's flame-red fur. 'If I evolve, will I be as happy as that?' she wonders to herself. "Uuee..." an unfamiliar voice sounds in her head. "" Umi whispers, ears turned back. "Uee..." Umi breathes. She gazes up at Faris and Hikaru, then over at the Water Stone. '...I want to be someone important. I want to live up to my name.' With that, she jumps up onto the leather seat and touches the Water Stone with her paw. "Umi!?" Sami gasps, startled by the sudden burst of evolutionary light. Her eyes soften as she gazes on Umi's changing form, and Hikaru leaves her lap to watch the transformation. "...kirei..." The light shimmers away, revealing a beautiful finned water Pokémon: Vaporeon. Umi takes a step forward, her head down but her eyes cast shyly on Sami. "<...I'm home.>" Sami smiles warmly. "Welcome home." "<...!!>" the blue-skinned Pokémon cries, eyes filling with tears. She leaps into Sami's lap, knocking her against the wall, and joyously licks her face. After much laughter and tears, Sami manages to calm Umi down. She convinces her, Fuu and Hikaru to return to their Pokéballs. Once inside their Pokéballs, she attaches them to her belt, then returns the three stones to the void behind her back that all anime characters possess. Batts' voice sounds mildly in her head. Sami smiles fondly. "Oh, shut up, you." She stands, then turns around and opens the door leading into the cockpit. "What?!" Starr exclaims, grabbing the map away from Jessie and flipping it right-side-up. "Ten miles south? No, that's not right. Topaz City is here." She jabs a finger at the map. "Whilst reading a map, you should always be sure it's the right way up before giving the pilot directions." She turns to James. "Turn left. Topaz City should be just over those hills." James obliges and Jessie sulks. "Why don't those stupid cartographers mark the top of the maps?" Starr has a sudden sneezing fit. "Well, if you'll notice, when the map's upside down it's a lot harder to read since the writing's upside down, too..." James starts to snigger. Jessie reaches across Starr and whaps him in the head. "OWWW!" James wails. "Don't kill the pilot!" Starr says. "I don't exactly want to crash." A throat-clearing noise from behind makes everyone turn around. Sami has come back. "Hey, Sami," Starr smiles. "What were you doing back there, anyhow?" Now Jessie has a sneezing fit. Starr raises her eyebrows. "Uh-huh..." Sami shrugs. "Just getting acquainted with new Pokémon." Starr nods, then happens to catch sight of the scenery below. "HEY! There's Topaz City! James, we're gonna miss it! Land quick!" James obliges, maybe a little too well. "OWWWWWWW!" all the occupants of the helicopter yell as the aircraft thumps to the landing platform. "Raichu, would you mind getting off my head?" Starr inquires politely, removing the electric Pokémon. "Raiiii..." Raichu says, dazed. When Starr sets him down, he staggers into the seat, shakes his head, and blinks. Sami stands up. "Nice," he says to James, who is presently upside-down in the pilot's seat with a spectacular view of the underside of the steering column. James growls as Sami leaves, and attempts to get up. He forgets the steering wheel exists, hits his head on it, and falls out of the seat and onto the floor. Jessie rolls her eyes and Starr looks at James sideways, saying mildly, "Poor baby." "James, stop whining and get up!" Jessie hauls James to his feet. Starr jumps out of the helicopter, takes her black sweater out of the same void Sami got her evolution stones from, and pulls it over her head, concealing the Team Rocket sweater. Sami pulls on a black trenchcoat as she does so. "What are you doing?" Jessie queries, staring at them. "Making sure no one knows I'm a Team Rocket member. This way, nobody freaks and calls the cops, so I can get the job done with nobody hounding me on the way," Sami replies smoothly. "This is what 'going In Cog Nee Toh' is," Starr says slowly. "I KNOW that," Jessie snaps, annoyed. "Mm hmm. Do you have a sweater, or something?" "No." "Here, take this then." Sami holds out a trenchcoat to James, who leaps behind Jessie. "I am NOT wearing that thing! It's unfashionable!" James looks at the trenchcoat as though it were a very large bug. "In which case, stay here, guard the helicopter, and DON'T GO ANYWHERE!" Sami tells him sharply. He and Starr walk off, leaving a very bored Jessie, James and Meowth. "Wow!" Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town gasps as he gazes over the golden metropolis of Topaz City. "Pika!" the Pikachu on top of his head says in assent. Brock, the former gym leader of Pewter City, steps up next to him. Gazing upon the city with closed eyes, he comments, "This is Topaz City. I've never been here before, but I would read in the newspaper about the Pokémon convention that they have every year. I think-- yeah, they're having one today. It's mostly for rich people to show off their Pokémon, though; not really for actual trainers." "I still wanna go!" Ash states firmly. "I'd love to see all the Pokémon they have! Maybe some of them will battle!" Misty, the female of the group, comments, "Ash, if a rich person owns a Pokémon, that Pokémon will probably not be fit for battle. The most likely thing you'll see is a lot of pampered, rare Pokémon." "Toge, briii!" her baby Pokémon, Togepi, chimes in from within Misty's arms. "That's beside the point!" Ash argues. "The convention isn't for another couple of hours or so," Brock points out. "Before we go anywhere, why don't we get something to eat?" Ash's, Pikachu's, and Misty's stomachs all rumble in delight at his proposition. Ash laughs nervously. "I guess we'd better... let's go!" Sami checks his watch. "It's a couple hours until the convention starts," he comments to Starr. "The Topaz City Mall is a couple blocks away from here. Do you want to get something quick to eat?" "Sure!" Starr smiles. The two of them head towards the mall. After entering the Topaz City Mall, which had the closest restaurant to them, Ash and company meet up with a rather nasty surprise. No pets, not even trained ones, are allowed in this particular restaurant. "But Pikachu's my friend!" Ash insists to the waiter who had told them this. (Misty had been lucky enough to be able to effectively hide Togepi inside her backpack.) "I'm sorry, young man, but rules are rules! I can't change them, and they say your Pikachu has to wait outside!" the waiter argues. Misty cuts in, "Ash, just leave Pikachu outside! It's smart enough not to go wandering or let anybody take it away, and we'll just bring it some extra food." "Pika pi chu!!" Pikachu adds, which translates into, 'Bring ketchup!!' Ash considers this. "Well...I guess that's the only way we'll get any service..." he mutters reluctantly. "Pikachu, will you stay outside the store and wait for us, please?" Pikachu nods, saying, "Pika!" Ash smiles. "Well, I guess that settles that! Let's go! We'll bring you back something good, Pikachu!" Misty, Brock and he enter the restaurant, and Pikachu waves good-bye from the window. Pikachu watches her trainer and friend disappear into the crowd of people, then sighs. "Chaaa...." "Raichu?" an unfamiliar voice sounds behind her. "Pi?" Pikachu turns her head, and sees a Raichu. "Pika! Pi pikachu?" "Rai rai rai," the Raichu, a male, replies. "What are you looking at, Raichu?" a female voice calls out. A redheaded, green-eyed girl wearing a black sweater approaches him. Following her is a boy (Pikachu thinks, she's not sure) with lavender hair, red eyes, and a black trenchcoat. Following that girl is a Kadabra. "Oh! A Pikachu!" She kneels in front of her. "Are you lost, little fella?" "Pika," Pikachu replies, shaking her head. "Pi pi kachu pika pikachu." Crossing her arms, she adds, "Pi~~, pi pikachu! Pika pika pikaa......." The girl blinks. "Huh?" "She said her trainer's inside the restaurant, and she's out here because they don't allow Pokémon inside," the other girl tells her smoothly. She kneels down in front of her. "My name's Sami Hill. What's yours?" "Pi, Pikachu ka." "Just Pikachu, hmm?" Sami smiles, resting her chin on her hand. "Your trainer doesn't have a lot of imagination." She turns to the other girl. "Let's go, Starr. This restaurant's obviously no good if they don't let Pokémon in." "Sure, Sami," Starr replies. The two of them get up. "Rai rai, raichu," Raichu says in good-bye. "Pika!" Pikachu smiles, waving. Pikachu watches them walk off and disappear into the crowd before deciding, heck with it, she can remember where Ash is. With a quick glance at the restaurant to imprint its looks in her mind, she runs after Starr and Raichu. "Pika piiii!!" "Rai?" Raichu turns around just in time to see Pikachu run up Starr's leg and perch on her shoulder. "Rai! Raichu rai?" "Pi, pi..." Pikachu laughs, rubbing the back of her head. "Pi, pikachu pi. Chu!" Starr looks blank. "Uh, what?" "Pikachu likes you, in short," Sami tells Starr with a slight smile on his lips. "She's just going to stick around for a while, then she's heading back to her trainer." Starr laughs, blushing slightly. "Gee, thanks, Pikachu..." she smiles. "I wish I could understand what you're saying like Sami does..." "Not a problem," Sami says smoothly. "Batts, please translate Pikachu for Starr." Batts replies quietly. "" Pikachu comments, peering down at him. "" Raichu tells her, "" Starr blinks. "That... is a really weird feeling," she decides to announce. "That's usually how it is," Sami tells her mildly. He glances to the side. "Oh, look, another restaurant. Wait here, I'll ask if they let Pokémon in." Starr, Pikachu, and Raichu stop, and watch him as he walks in and over to one of the waiters. "Say, Pikachu, what's your trainer's name?" Starr asks, looking over at the electric rodent perched on her shoulder. "" Pikachu replies. "" "It's good to hear you're being treated well, Pikachu," Starr smiles. "They allow Pokémon here, as long as they behave themselves," Sami announces from the restaurant entrance. "Let's get a table, Starr; I'm paying. Pikachu, you can get whatever you want too, I've got plenty of money." "" Pikachu cheers. "" Sami blinks. "That's a weird request, but... sure." He turns around. "Let's go." "This is boring!!" James whines. "And I'm hungry!!!" "Quit complaining!" Jessie snaps, arms crossed. "This is bad enough without me having to listen to your annoying voice!" Meowth refrains from mentioning how awful it is be for him to have to listen to both of them whine. Instead, he says, "Could you guys shut up already? I'm trying to catch some Z's." Jessie apologizes by hitting Meowth over the head. "Shut up, you!!!" "Say, I've got an idea!" James proclaims. "Sami and Starr aren't here to stop us, so why don't we head over to the mall and shop?" "Oh, James, that's a GREAT idea!!" Jessie cries, clasping her hands together. "I need to stock up on hair gel and make-up anyway, I'm running out..." "But didn't you just go make-up shopping only a week ago?" James queries. "Gee, and with that load I thought for sure you'd last a month!" "You know how much make-up Jessie slaps on her face. She looks like Mr. Mime when she's done!" Meowth cuts in. "That's true," James muses, snickering. Jessie, the flames of rage surging around her, brings out her Paper Fan of Personal Pride and makes some Northern Crater-sized dents in her teammates' faces. "DON'T YOU DARE EVER CRITICIZE MY FACE EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!" she roars. "Now bow down and call me Queen before I REALLY get mad!!!" "Yes, m'Queen!!" Meowth and James comply, bowing before Jessie. Jessie smirks a little. 'That's more like it,' she thinks to herself, none too smugly. "As punishment, you must take me shopping AND pay my bill! Oh, and carry my bags, too, without complaining!" Meowth gazes up at her with tear-filled eyes. "But Queen Jessie," he protests, "I am merely a slight Pokémon with no money! It would not be worth your while to take me along!" He gets up, a smugly cheerful look on his kitty face, and boots James forward. "James, on the other hand, is the *poifect* mule!" "HEY!" James snaps. "I resent that remark!" "Let's GO, James!!" Jessie snaps, grabbing him by the neck (and forcing James to cutely stick his tongue out). "We're heading to the Topaz City Mall, *your* treat!" "Have fun, guys!" Meowth grins, waving good-bye as Jessie drags James off. James manages to spare him an 'I'm-going-to-KILL-you-for-this' look before Jessie throws him forward and orders him to walk on his own. Meowth sighs contentedly, then lies down next to the helicopter and relaxes. "Finally," he purrs to himself, "some peace and quiet so I can finally have a catnap!" "Chaaa!" Pikachu says happily, licking the ketchup from the tip of her nose before returning her attention to the large-size bottle of Heinz the waiter has so thoughtfully provided her with. Starr grins and takes a large bite out of her cheeseburger. "Thish wuz a good idea. I wuz shtarved," she says, though her voice is somewhat obscured by the pickles, onions, lettuce, special sauce and sesame seed bun. Raichu takes advantage of Starr's preoccupation with the burger to sneak a French fry, lean over, and borrow some of Pikachu's ketchup. As an afterthought, he offers Pikachu a fry. "" Pikachu looks questioningly at the fried potato wedge. "" "" Raichu explains. He demonstrates precisely what the purpose of a French fry is, taking a huge bite, then relieving Starr of a few more fries and handing them to Pikachu. Pikachu experimentally tips the ketchup bottle and squeezes, effectively coating the fry in tomato-based garnish, then picks up the french fry and swallows it. "" Sami observes this with a faint grin. "Starr, I'd keep an eye on your lunch if I were you." "Hmm? Why?" Starr swallows the bite of cheeseburger and looks down. Raichu freezes with his paw on a fry, then grins and blushes. Batts looks amused, letting out a small Kadabra chuckle before resuming his concentration on resting. Starr looks at her watch. "Hmm. It's one-thirty. We still have a bit of time to go before we have to leave, but there's no harm in being early." Sami nods and signals for the check. Pikachu looks up at Starr and is about to ask why when suddenly she realizes what time Starr had said it was. She immediately jumps up, dropping the ketchup. Sami looks up at the noise. "What's the matter, Pikachu?" he inquires. "Pi~~~! " Pikachu says frantically, jumping up and down. Starr nods. "Sorry, Pikachu, I didn't know lunch would take so long. I remember where that restaurant is. If we hurry, we should be able to get you back before your trainer starts to worry." "Leave that to Batts," Sami says. "Batts, teleport us to that restaurant." "..." Batts states before the white light of teleportation washes over the group. The waiter, who'd been coming to pick up the check, blinks, then shrugs. She doesn't really care how people decide to leave the restaurant, particularly when they leave tips like this group has. By the time they arrive, however, Ash, Misty and Brock are no longer present. Starr holds Pikachu and reassures her while Sami goes into the restaurant and asks if a group of kids has recently left. The waiter replies, "Yeah, two guys and a girl, only a little while ago. The one kid had a Pikachu. He seemed pretty upset about having to leave it outside. Just went off looking for it a while ago." "Thank you," Sami says, coming back outside. Pikachu sighs. Starr strokes her head. "Don't worry, Pikachu, we'll find your trainer." She turns to Sami. "Hmm. I wish we knew where they went." Sami shrugs. "It doesn't really matter. We can just go to the main office and have them page Pikachu's trainer. You know, tell him we've found his Pikachu and to come pick her up." "Oh, yeah." Starr puts a hand to the back of her neck. "Should have thought of that." The group heads over to the mall's main office, and Sami tells the woman waiting to put a message out over the P.A. A few minutes later, the P.A. system chimes to life. "Attention everyone! If there's an Ash Ketchum in this mall, your Pikachu is okay. She's waiting here at the front desk for you to pick her up. Thanks." Ash sighs with relief at the sound of the message. "Oh, good, they've found Pikachu!" He, Misty and Brock charge off toward the mall's main office. Elsewhere in the mall, two other shoppers catch the tail end of the message. "Did you hear that, James?" Jessie exclaims. James, staggering under the weight of Jessie's recent purchases, opens his mouth to reply, inhales a large cloud of scented powder, and has the sneezing fit to end all sneezing fits. When he finishes, he says, "They did just say that Ash Ketchum's Pikachu was waiting at the front desk, didn't they?" "Of course! Haven't you been listening?!?" Jessie snaps, pulling the infamous paper fan from her pocket, then deciding against whapping James, in case he should pass out from the impact and drop any of the merchandise. "Come on, James, if we get to the office before those twerps, we can claim Pikachu!" With this she grabs her partner by the arm and hauls him off, scattering lipstick, blush, eyeliner and various articles of clothing in their wake. Starr scans the crowd, holding up Pikachu so she can see whether or not Ash is coming. "Can you see anyone, Pikachu?" Pikachu holds a hand over her eyes, then gasps. "" "What, who do you see?" Starr asks. In reply, Pikachu launches herself at a kid with spiky black hair wearing an official Pokémon League hat. "Pikachu!" he says joyfully, catching the small furry yellow projectile and hugging her close. "Oh, you must be Ash," Starr says, smiling. "Huh?" Ash looks up. "Oh, yeah. Thanks for finding Pikachu. From now on, I'll only eat at restaurants that'll serve ALL my friends. So you wanna go get some lunch, Pikachu?" "Pi pika!" Pikachu smiles, then points to Sami and Starr. "Pi pika chaa!" Ash blinks. "Oh, they bought you lunch already?" He reaches into his pocket. "I'll pay you back, if you want..." Sami holds up one hand. "It's no problem. All Pikachu had was ketchup." "And a few of my fries," Starr mutters, poking Raichu gently with her foot. Misty observes Sami and Starr with a pensive expression on her face. Something about these two seems familiar, but she can't quite place it. "Brock," she whispers, "do you notice something unusual about these two?" Brock doesn't reply. "Brock?" Misty repeats. "Brriii?" Togepi adds in, staring at the ex-gym leader. Brock still doesn't reply, as he's too preoccupied with blushing and gazing at Starr. Starr notices and acquires a faint sweatdrop. "Uh, hi." Brock snaps out of it. "Ah heh heh..." Fortunately, he's spared further embarrassment by the sound of chaos breaking loose a few feet away. Everyone turns quickly to see multiple shopping bags go sailing into the air and crash to the floor as whoever is carrying them trips over his own feet and executes a perfect face flop onto the tile. Starr coughs, fanning at the clouds of scented talcum powder that have exploded from the dropped parcels in an attempt to improve visibility. "What the heck???" From within the pink clouds, a feminine voice proclaims, "PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!" "And make it double," a male voice adds. "Oh, no, not you again!" Ash groans, exasperated. As the clouds of powder settle to the ground, the shoppers can now see two figures posing on a bench. "To protect the world from devastation!" Jessie announces. "To unite all peoples within our nation," James proclaims, pulling a rose from somewhere in the void. "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the stars above." "JESSIE!" "Jaaaaames." "TEAM ROCKET! Blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now, or prepare to fight!" "SHUT UP OR WE'LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT!!!!" Starr screams in complete exasperation. Everyone blinks. Starr blushes. Sami sighs. "I've had about enough of the song and dance." He detaches two Pokéballs from his belt. "Fuu! Umi! Go!!" There's a flash, and the form of Umi the Vaporeon takes shape on the floor. "Por Vaporeon!" Another flash, and Fuu the Jolteon is standing next to her. "Jolt!" "Umi, let's clean up this mess," Sami commands. "Water Gun attack! Fuu, use Thunder Shock to electrify it!" "Vaporeo~~~~~~~n!" Umi agrees, sending a large jet of water at Jessie and James. "JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLT!!!!!!" Fuu exclaims, sending a well-aimed thunder-shock into the deluge. "BLARGLE!" James exclaims as he and Jessie are washed out the door, along with the mess of shopping bags and cosmetics on the floor. "WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIINNN..........!" The waterlogged-then-zapped Team Rocket sails off into the distance. Later, there's a faint THUD, but nobody really cares. The crowd that's gathered since Jessie and James began speeching applauds. "Fuu, Umi, take a bow," Sami says gently, smiling. Umi blushes, but does so. Fuu looks as though she's enjoying the attention but trying not to show it. "Wow, that was great!" Ash cheers. "You should have gotten Pikachu to fry them, too." Starr snickers under her breath. "Maximum voltage...ehehehehehe." "Save your insanity for later." Sami taps Starr on the shoulder. "We're going to be late for the Pokémon convention." "Oh." Starr stops laughing maniacally. She turns to Ash and smiles. "It was nice meeting you and Pikachu." "Likewise." Ash grins and shakes hands first with Starr, then with Sami. Misty follows suit, still holding Togepi, as does Brock. When the former gym leader takes Starr's hand, he blushes. "It was nice to meet you, Brock," Starr says. "Maybe we'll see each other around sometime---would you like my phone number so we can keep in touch?" "Erm," Starr replies and follows Sami out of the mall. Misty begins to giggle. Brock turns a very interesting shade of pink. Sami's right eye twitches. A very unhappy Jessie and James are sitting to her left; to her right is Starr. Batts, Raichu, and Meowth are off checking out the layout of the building. Sami is glaring at the Pokémon convention's latest newcomer through binoculars--a gaudy-looking woman with platinum blond hair, a low-cut red dress, minks and jewels galore, and a rather clueless-looking man for an escort. A primped-up Persian is by her side. "Why did your eye just twitch, Sami?" Starr queries, staring at her partner's profile (for more reasons than one). "Don't ask," Sami replies flatly, lowering the binoculars. "Damn... and I was hoping never to see her face again..." "Whose?" Jessie pipes up. She glances over at the newcomer; her blue eyes promptly fill with stars. "Oh, WAOOWWWWWW!!!!" she gasps, clasping her hands together. "I can't believe it's really HER! In PERSON!!!!" "Indeed," Sami grumbles. Starr stares. "Who?" "Martina Greyweirs," James explains expertly. "Didn't you know?" Resisting the urge to throttle him, Starr shakes her head no. "She's only the richest woman on Cinnabar Island! They call her the Queen of Cinnabar! She's the sponsor to tons of parties and celebrations there!" James explains, looking smug that he knew something she didn't. He sighs and grows starry-eyed, and adds, "And her only child, Faris Greyweirs, is *soooo* beautiful! I wish she was my girlfriend..." "Martina's also a whore, a bad mother, and can't manage her money at all," Sami snaps. "God, I can't stand that woman!!" Her eyes slide over to Jessie and James. "Figures those two idiots would idolize her," she mutters. Starr stares at the lavender-haired Team Rocket member as Jessie and James both give her Sephiroth-type Death Glares. Jessie, in her fury, stands on her and James' branch. (Yes, they're all sitting in a tree.) "How DARE you mar the name of such a fashion entrepreneur as Martina Greyweirs!!!" she roars, growing a couple of tiny fangs. James inches away to the less sturdy part of the branch. With a little whiplash SFX and a pointing of her index finger, Jessie continues, "In the name of fashion, I will punCRACK." Jessie and James suddenly go on an angle, as the tree branch has decided it can't support their weight any longer. "Ish?" Jessie utters before she and her rather clueless partner plummet towards the (very hard) ground. Sami and Starr peer down at their mangled forms. "I wonder if Jessie even knows what an entrepreneur is?" Sami wonders. Starr shrugs. With a touch of elegance, Sami jumps down from her branch next to the collapsed Team Rocket members. Starr, not quite as brave, climbs down partway, then jumps. The two of them stare at the twitching Jessie and James for a moment. (Jessie is incidentally on top of James.) ".........ow," the two finally say (in unison, no less). Starr pulls a stick out from behind her back and pokes the two with it. "You two still alive?" she queries, poking at their hair (and not managing to get through Jessie's). In an instant, the two Team Rocket members are on their feet, blushing slightly for reasons unknown. "Don't DO that!!!" they scream in unison. "Why?" Sami queries with a slight smirk. "Was James too stiff for you, Jessie?" Jessie turns a bright shade of crimson while James looks slightly puzzled. Starr is giggling like crazy. "That's sick!" she gasps. "What's he means by 'stiff', Jessie?" James asks his redheaded partner. In response, Jessie whams him over the head with a rather large mallet. Sami grins wickedly at this. His grin decreases into a smirk. "We should get moving," he tells his teammates. "If we stall for too long, we'll miss our chance. Jessie, James, you create a distraction while Starr and I steal the Pokémon." James recovers from his hit. "Why are we only a distraction?!" he whines. Sami rolls his eyes. "All right then, how about this? You go in through the front, and make a lot of noise so everyone pays attention to you. We go in through the back and make virtually no noise, so nobody pays attention to us. You get aaaaaaaaaall the attention! That better, Jimmy!?" James scowls. "I hate that nickname," he mutters. "Get a move on, Jimmy!" Jessie snaps, dragging him away by his collar, causing him to yet again cutely stick his tongue out. Starr stares after them as Sami smiles. Once they're out of eyeshot, Starr turns to her partner. "Hey...Sami?" she starts. "About what you said earlier... about Martina?" "Yeah? What?" "How would you know what kind of mother she is?" Sami flinches slightly. "Do you promise not to tell anyone what I'm going to tell you now?" Starr nods slowly. Her partner sighs, then runs a hand through his bangs. "Martina Greyweirs is my mother," he confesses. Starr blinks...and her mouth drops open. "No WAY. " "Yeah, I know...I'll explain later," Sami says. "No WAY! You're a GIRL!?!?!" Starr demands. Sami stares at her, taken a little off balance. She smirks. "Yes, Starr, I am a girl," she replies. "Like I said, I'll explain later. For now, we have a job to do." She runs off towards the back entrance. Starr blinks, then scratches her head. "There goes *that* love interest..." she mutters to herself, then follows. "Haruka lives..." Ash, Misty and Brock gaze around the convention centre in amazement. They've never seen so many different rare (and overly pampered) Pokémon, or so many different varieties of snack food. Pikachu looks as though she wants to make a beeline for the snack table right away, but decides to wait things out as Ash exclaims, "WAAAAOWWWWWWWW!" and whips out his Pokédex. As her trainer clicks away on the scan button at a rapid-fire pace, Pikachu observes her fellow Pokémon. She sees a few Scythers, a Clefairy, Eevee and its evolved forms Flareon, Jolteon and Vaporeon, and an Electabuzz (dumb excuse for an electric Pokémon in Pikachu's opinion. Why go for something so big and oogly when you can get just as much power in a smaller, cuter package with Pikachu?), which doesn't look too thrilled at the prospect of wearing a bow tie to match his owner's spotted cummerbund. There's also a Porygon perched next to an ice sculpture of Articuno on the snack table. "Pika pi!" Pikachu informs Ash, patting the brim of her trainer's hat so it falls over his eyes. "Huh?" Ash utters as everything goes suddenly dark. Lifting his hat brim again, he sees a smiling upside-down Pikachu. "Pi pikachu!" Pikachu says again, pointing to the snack table. "But we just ate!" Ash protests...until he sees the Porygon, at which point he rushes over to get a better look. Pikachu is nearly tossed off Ash's head onto the floor, but she manages to keep a grip on the back of his hat and make it over to the snack table without falling. Before striking up a conversation with the Porygon's trainer, a smiling girl with indigo-blue hair, Ash takes a quick glance around the room to memorize the locations of his friends. Brock is off trailing a group of pretty girls and their Clefairy around the room, and Misty is in a conversation with a bunch of Vaporeon trainers. Ash shrugs, then says hello to the girl, who looks up and smiles more. Meanwhile, two strange-looking people in waitresses' uniforms tiptoe around the back of the table. One, with short periwinkle-coloured hair, immediately begins scarfing at the chocolate hors d'oeuvres on the table. The other whips out a paper fan from somewhere and whams her counterpart in the head. Starr, however, fails to notice this ensuing chaos, as she's too busy mulling over the revelation she's just received from Sami. "Sami is a girl, not a guy...her mom is that skanky-looking woman over there, the Queen of Cinnabar...then that means, if idiot James has his information straight, Sami is Martina's daughter and her real name's Faris." She exhales a tiny puff. "Whew. This is very confusing..." "What are you talking to yourself over there for?" Sami inquires. "You're supposed to be on the lookout." Starr says, "What are we supposed to do, bash a couple waitresses in the head and steal their uniforms?" "Yeah, like James Bond," Sami says dryly. "Jaaaaaaaaaames Bond," Starr corrects, imitating James announcing his presence in the Team Rocket motto. Sami laughs a little. "Cut it out. We're supposed to be serious." "How can I be serious when your mother is mooning me and flashing me at the same time?" Starr indicates Martina's abbreviated red dress. "Although I admit that's a very nice dress she's almost wearing." "If you mention it to her, she'll say, 'Oh, it's just something I threw on!' If you ask me, it looks as though she almost missed." Starr snickers. Sami rolls her eyes. "Come on. I guess now's as good as any time to pull this off." "Wait, not yet, the Idiot Squadron has yet to take the scene." Starr points to Jessie and James, lurking behind the snack table disguised as waitresses. She starts to laugh. "James is dressed as a woman....!" "He has issues," Sami says. "You sound like my friend Kenji." Starr giggles harder. "Well, he does." Starr looks closer at James-in-drag. "I wonder how the heck he manages to fill out the top of that thing so well." "I wonder what would happen if we threw cold water on him," Sami snorts. "And don't worry. I predict the diversion will strike about..............now." At Sami's 'now', suddenly a purple mist begins to fill the banquet hall. Starr sneezes. As the mist clears, two figures are revealed standing proudly on top of the bandstand. "Prepare for trouble!!!" "And make that double." "See, what'd I tell you?" Sami gestures in their general direction and rolls her eyes. "To protect the world from devastation!" Jessie proclaims. "To unite all people within our nation," James announces. "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the stars above." "JESSIE!" "Jaaaaaaaaaaaaames." Jessie and James make a bunch of poses in front of an elaborately flashy backdrop of stars, comets and a large red R that has come out of nowhere. "TEAM ROCKET! Blast off at the speed of light!" Jessie cheers, posing for the final time. "Surrender now, or prepare to fight!" James concludes, flourishing his trademark red rose. Instead of the standard reply from Meowth, though (or another of Starr's sarcastic outbursts), a loud snoring noise comes from beneath the table. Jessie and James do a double take, search the room, and finally lift up the tablecloth over the punch table, revealing a snoring Raichu, Batts and Meowth beneath it. Meowth sports a pink punch-moustache, and when Jessie samples the beverage, she discovers it has indeed been spiked, thus accounting for the comatose state of their feline counterpart. "MEOWTH!!!!!" Jessie roars directly in the snoring kitty Pokémon's ear. Meowth only rolls over and purrs, much to his teammates' dismay. "Turn out the light, it's too early." As if to comply with his wishes, all the lights in the dance hall abruptly go out, bathing the room in darkness. "HAH! You two call that an entrance?" a different, sarcastic female voice inquires from somewhere in the darkness. "Amateurs," an unidentifiable voice adds coldly. "What? Who's there?" Ash demands. "Who are you?" Two spotlights suddenly flash on from somewhere, illuminating two silhouetted figures on a balcony. "STARR EVANS!" one yells, stepping into the light. Her green eyes flash as she grins and pushes back her dark red hair. "Sami Hill!" the cold voice proclaims as a guy with lavender hair steps forward. Ash cringes a little. Sami Hill has red eyes, which freaks him out slightly. "Team Rocket: Elegant, intelligent, and powerful!" Starr says. "If you aim to oppose us, get ready to lose," Sami finishes. "HAH. You against all of us?" one trainer says smugly. "I'd like to see it! SCYTHER, GO!" He reaches into his pocket and throws a handful of air instead of the expected Pokéball. "Huh?" "We kinda took the liberty of relieving you of your Pokéballs," Starr shrugs with a light smile. A collective gasp goes up as all the trainers in the room realize they are sans la Pokéballs (except Ash, Misty and Brock--they've been spared for some reason). "HOW DARE YOU, YOU EVIL, EVIL PERSON!???!!" Martina shrills, causing the ice sculpture to develop a few hairline cracks and the crystal beads on the chandelier to vibrate slightly. She also jolts Raichu, Batts and Meowth awake. Sami's eyes narrow slightly. "How dare you," he retorts. Jessie blinks twice. "What are you talking about, Sami?" The trainer of the Scyther with the bow tie fumes, "You steal other peoples' Pokémon for your own gain! You're the very definition of evil!" Sami smirks a bit. "Actually, the definition of 'evil' is..." He pulls a dictionary from somewhere within the void and flips through the pages for a second before stabbing one finger at an entry, clearing his throat, and reading. "...And I quote 'evil: 1) Morally bad or wicked; 2) An act which causes suffering or brings suffering upon others.'" He closes the dictionary and flings it backward over his shoulder, effectively whamming James in the head and causing his eyes to become nifty little spirals. "Emrnsbgghghaaaaaaaaaaaaa...?" James mumbles. Starr watches this with interest as Sami goes on. "I'm not stealing Pokémon. What I'm doing is liberating Pokémon from their grossly irresponsible and incompetent quoth-unquoth 'trainers'. I'm doing this for the interests of the Pokémon you neglect to gabber on about all the so-called important things money can buy. Do you even bother to take some time out of your busy, busy lives to actually care for your Pokémon yourselves, or do you just keep them in their cute little Pokéballs and brag to all the other rich snobs that you've got rare Pokémon?" Nearly all the partygoers look at one another guiltily. Martina turns an interesting shade of red. "Heh," Sami snorts. "I thought as much. I'M evil? Maybe you should get a second opinion on who the evil one really is from your rare, valuable Pokémon that all your hired hands worked so hard to care for." He turns to Starr. "Let's go. I feel nauseous just looking at this pathetic bunch." Unfortunately, James finally keeling over into unconsciousness causes any possibility of a dramatic exit to fly out the window. "EEF!" Jessie squeaks as her parter lands on her like a ton of bricks. She staggers into Starr, who yelps and falls backwards into Sami, effectively knocking them all off the balcony to the dance floor below, where everyone proceeds to crash-land directly on Martina. "Urk..." Sami says finally. "This would be amusing if I wasn't in so much pain...." "You think YOU'RE in pain, try landing directly on top of a $600 spike heel!" Jessie wails. "Starr, get OFF! You weigh a ton!" "Yeah, well, you aren't a CK model yourself!" Starr snaps back. "And are you sure that's a spike heel and not Jaaaaaaames?" "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" Jessie screeches, causing a few more hairline cracks in the ice sculpture. She leaps up, runs around the room in small circles three and a half times bowling over any partygoers in her path, and stampedes out the door. This also effectively sobers up Batts, Raichu, and Meowth. Starr observes the carnage. Everyone is now either unconscious or twitching on the floor. "Wow, Jessie actually did something marginally cool; she knocked out all the witnesses." "Disturbing, isn't it?" Sami remarks. James blinks twice and comes to. "Did we win?" "Get up!" Starr snaps, kicking the sole of James's foot. "Thanks to you passing out, we almost blew the whole mission. Come on, we've got to get out of here!" Sami grabs one of James's arms and Starr grabs the other. As they haul him out the door, James is slightly thankful that this time Jessie isn't choking him, but being whammed into doors by Starr isn't much better. "Pika pi~~~~!" Pikachu says worriedly, poking Ash's nose repeatedly in an attempt to wake him up. Finally he blinks and opens his eyes. "PIKA!" "Owww...my head," Ash groans, sitting up. The last thing he remembers is being plowed into a wall by a spazzing Jessie. "Pikachu, what happened?" "PI pika pi! Pika pika PI PIKACHU PI PIKACHU! Pi~~~, pika pi! Pi pikachu!!! Pi pika pika pika!!!!" Pikachu exclaims, gesticulating wildly as she describes the klutzy albeit effective escape made by Team Rocket. Ash does a quick check for his Pokéballs, confirms that they're all there, and nods. "Pikachu, you stay here and take care of Misty and Brock. I'll go stop Team Rocket!" "We're almost there! Keep running!" Starr gasps, charging full speed ahead. Though she's a little shorter than Sami and James, she's quite a bit ahead of James, with Sami close on her heels. "Shouldn't...you...let...the driver...get to...the helicopter... first?" James wheezes. "Sure, fine, whatever, go ahead!!!" Starr gestures hospitably. James puts a little more speed on and charges ahead, scrambling into the helicopter. She's about to open the doors and get in when suddenly she notices something is amiss. In fact, it's Raichu who is a-missing. "RAICHU!!! Sami, we left them behind!!!" "Batts!" Sami gasps. "I'll go back to get them, you stay here," she tells Starr, turning and running back in the direction of the convention. Starr opens her mouth to protest, but by the time she says anything Sami is halfway back to the convention hall. Fortunately, Sami finds Raichu, Batts and Meowth running for the helicopter. She sends Raichu and Meowth back and is about to ask Batts if he's all right, having endured screeching from both Martina and Jessie, when she hears a familiar voice yell, "Team Rocket!!" She looks up to see a very determined Ash Ketchum standing in front of her. "What do you want?" she asks irritably. "I can't let you get away with stealing everyone's Pokémon!" Ash declares. "Even if they have lousy trainers?" "Huh?" "Those trainers wouldn't know how to take care of a Pokémon if their lives depended on it; their servants do all the work. Those Pokémon would be better off with Jessie and James than with trainers like that." "Oh." Ash blinks, then resumes his challenge. "Anyway, I challenge you to a battle! If I win, you take those Pokémon to a Pokémon Center so Nurse Joy can find them good homes." "And if I win, I keep them," Sami says. "All right!" Ash nods, then turns his hat backwards and throws out a Pokéball. "CHARIZARD! I choose you!" There's a bright flash, and Charizard appears. However, it looks more interested in catching up on a few Z's than battling. Sami and Batts look at one another. Ash acquires a faint sweatdrop. "Uh, Charizard!! Flame Thrower attack!" "Char..." Charizard yawns, pulling a beach chain, sunglasses, and a fancy tropical-looking drink complete with small paper umbrella from the void. She settles down and begins to soak up the rays. Ash drops his head and the sweatdrop increases greatly in size. "AWW, Charizaaaard....!" "I don't think it's listening to you," Sami says with a faint smile. "I CAN SEE THAT!" Ash begins to spaz. "Why not?" "I don't know, it's been like this ever since it evolved!!!!" "Well, then I'd suggest you forfeit and let us go. There's not much you can do," Sami suggests. Charizard looks up over the brim of her sunglasses. "Char...?" Batts informs her. "CHAR????" Charizard's temper flares out of control at the thought of anyone thinking she's weak. She snarls, "CHARRRRRRR!!!!" and launches herself at Sami. "SAMI?" Starr leaps out of the helicopter. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Sami yells in surprise as Charizard begins clawing away at her shirt, effectively shredding it. As well as completely reducing Sami's jacket to threads, though, Charizard also reduces to threads the bandages across Sami's chest that retain her guy's profile. Unfortunately for Charizard, Sami's temper flares even worse-- worse, along the lines of Lina Inverse on a bad day. Much to Charizard and Ash's surprise, Sami kicks Charizard off her and directly into Ash, flattening them both. She then turns to face James and Jessie, who are staring at her bug-eyed. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT?" James's eyes are now two cute little red hearts as he gazes deep into Sami's ruby-coloured eyes and takes in her long lavender hair, now blowing loose in the breeze since it's no longer confined under her shirt. Of course, he's too lovestruck to notice she's giving him a death glare so severe, it would make Solid Snake poop his pants. James sighs, opens his eyes, and grins blissfully before spontaneously getting a nosebleed at the sight of Sami's cleavage and passing out on the ground. "OH, for the love of Sephiroth..." Starr mutters as she and Jessie haul James into the helicopter. Sami leaps in after, landing on James' stomach in the process, and screams at Jessie (with fangs and flames dancing in the background, no less), "SO TAKE OFF ALREADY!!!" "Yes'm!" Jessie squeaks, crashing the gears of the helicopter. Ash manages to get out from beneath Charizard in time to see the helicopter shoot up into the sky. "Man, that Sami Hill's really strong..." he mumbles. "Char...." Charizard agrees, for once. "Damn't, isn't there any extra clothing back here?" Sami growls, digging through a box of miscellaneous stuff that someone has stashed at the back of the helicopter. "All I can find are a few of Jessie and James' stupid disguises." Starr picks up a bikini from the chaos of clothes on the floor. "Can we say 'Naga', anyone?" There's a knock on the door then, and before anyone can deny her entry, Jessie barges in. Sami finds a black T-shirt amid the weird stuff and pulls it over her head. Jessie notices Starr looking squiggle-eyed at the top of the bikini and says, "Oh! My bikini top! I was wondering where that went!" "Slut," Starr mutters under her breath, tossing it aside. Sami rolls her eyes. "Jessie, didn't anyone teach you to ask if you can come in?" "Can't say that they did," Jessie replies, then takes a good look at Sami. And gasps. "YOU'RE FARIS GREYWEIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" "How did you know that?!" Sami demands. "I've seen pictures of you and your mother in fashion magazines! Martina is my IDOL! You're sooooooo cool! Can I have your autograph? Please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" Jessie babbles excitedly, making moony-eyes as she holds out a pencil and paper to Sami. "Precisely how much coffee have you had today?" Starr asks. "Forget that. Who's driving the helicopter, is what I want to know!" Sami puts in. Jessie stops counting off the amount of latte on her fingers (she's somewhere in the thirties) and waves her hand to indicate that no one really cares. "James is still unconscious so I left it on auto-pilot." "How's his nosebleed?" Starr asks. "It stopped," Jessie replies. "What was the matter with James, anyhow?" Starr snorts. Sami makes a face. "Don't ask." Halfway through the sulking silence of the trip, James finally returns to the land of the living. He groggily sits up, and turns to Jessie, who's sitting in the pilot's seat with a gloating smile on her face. "Jessie, what happened?" "You passed out from a nosebleed," Jessie replies cheerfully. "Owwwww..." he mumbles. "I had the strangest dream...I dreamt that Sami Hill was really Faris Greyweirs, and we went out on a date..." He sighs blissfully at the memory. From behind him, a fist crashes into his skull. "I'm Faris Greyweirs, but I'd NEVER go out on a date with you!" a familiar voice snaps. James turns to see Sami Hill wearing a tight black T...and he sighs again, even more blissfully. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" On the sidelines, Starr pretends to gag. "Only fifty thousand times, when you were obsessed with making me your girlfriend when we went to school together," Sami replies flatly. James smiles. "I remember that...." "And I rejected you, every time." His smile fades away. "I remember that too..." Starr smirks. "High school sweethearts, huh?" she teases. Sami glares over at her. "Don't kid about such a thing!" she snaps. "I despised him then, and I despise him even more now. I got stuck in all the same classes as him, and it was hell on earth. Life at Pokémon Tech was bad enough without him swooning over me and trying to woo me with bad poetry." "Hey!!" James protests. "I wrote very *good* poetry!" Jessie snorts from the pilot's seat. "If Faris was the girl you were always babbling to me about, who was always so wonderful and gorgeous, then your poetry sucked." "You're supposed to be on my side!!" James complains. "'On your feet / You have ten toes / They look just like / Po-tay-toes!'" Jessie recites. "I remember you asking me if that was a good rhyme." Sami and Starr sweatdrop. "I'm glad I never had to hear that one," the center of all this mumbles. "That was just.... practice!!" James insists, face growing bright red. "The real poetry I wrote was great!" "You crack-smoker!" Sami snaps. "It ALL sucked, real or practice! It would have been funny if it wasn't so pathetically embarrassing!" "Sounds more like embarrassingly pathetic," Starr comments. "That too," her lavender-haired partner mutters. His face still bright red, James mumbles something unintelligible under his breath and says nothing more for the rest of the trip. Ending Theme: Amour Sonnet NOTES FOR EPISODE I of TOUCH AND GO: Going in order of what shows up first... - Chibiusa is the Japanese name of Sailorchibimoon, whom is known as "Rini" in the (*gag*) dubbed version. She is pure pink sugar. "-chan" is a Japanese connotation that tends to be used on young girls; it suggests friendliness, although it can also be derogatory. (Chibiusa incidentally means "small rabbit", and is from the anime Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon (Pretty Soldier Sailormoon/(dub name)Sailor Moon).) - Takeshi, Sami's Geodude's nickname, is Brock's name in the original. - 'Kuso' is Japanese for 'shit'. Sami sometimes speaks Japanese words, since that was the language she took in school. - When Starr has Raichu thundershock Jessie and James awake, they scream, "WHEN WHERE WHO WHICH?!" This is a reference to an anime called Shoujo Kakumei Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena). Every so often, there are duels, and songs play during these duels; the name of the duel song in the first episode, "The Rose Bride", is "When Where Who Which". - Tuxedo Kamen of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon legend is the guy in the tuxedo and stupid-looking top hat who says corny speeches and throws red roses around. (I was screaming, "OH MY GOD, IT'S MAMORU!!!" when James threw the rose in "Tentacool and Tentacruel"... except Mamoru-san doesn't need suction cups, his roses are diamond-tipped...) - Hikaru, Umi, and Fuu are the names of the three main characters from an anime called Magic Knight Rayearth; Shidou Hikaru has powers of fire, Ryuuzaki Umi has powers of water, and Hououji Fuu has powers of wind. - Northern Crater is a reference to the Playstation game, Final Fantasy VII. Basically, it's what happened when a big-ass rock (aka "Li'l Miss Crisis From the Sky") smashed into the Planet. - "M'Queen" is from dub Sailor Moon fame. It's what Malachite (the bleach- headed boot-licking hottie ^_^ whom is known as Kunzite in the original) tended to refer to Queen Beryl as. - "*I* wonder what would happen if we threw cold water on him," Sami snorts. This is a reference to an anime called Ranma Nibunnoichi (Ranma 1/2). Whenever the main (male) character, Saotome Ranma, gets splashed with cold water, he turns into a very chesty redheaded girl. (Don't ask.) - Lina Inverse, the main character from the anime Slayers, has a VERY nasty temper. In short, "someone even a dragon wouldn't mess with". ^_^ - Solid Snake is the main character of Metal Gear Solid. He's a genetically engineered soldier, and basically can whip just about anyone's ass. Anyone having the ability to make *him* poop his pants would have to be pretty damn scary. - Naga the White Serpent, also from Slayers, has a VERY huge chest and a tiny black Battle Bikini from keeping it all from spilling out. Her most lethal weapon is her choice of clothing. :P - "'On your feet / You have ten toes / They look just like / Po-tay-toes!'" Jessie recites. This verse is from a comic book called "BONE". This one one of Fone Bone's very bad, never-sent love poems to Thorn, the girl he had a crush on. It was just so funny I couldn't resist writing it into TaG ^____^